Family and housing help needed

moneyistooshorttomention

I can believe too that your father has been convinced by your brother that your brother has greater financial needs than you do because he has two children. My brother has been trying to convince my parents that he should inherit more than me because he has children and I don't!!! I'm having to keep my fingers crossed that things work out fairly come the time one way or another and, if there is anything left to leave, that my brother only gets his fair half share (no allowance made for those children...as that was his choice after all).

Errrrr.....but there is one itsy point here. You DO have children...ie that son you mention and presumably your son might need more financial support than, say, either of your brothers children.

The more I read...the more annoyed on your behalf I feel with the situation your brother has got you into. It does sound like your brother is someone who could convince people that black is white and the sun rises at night (not the moon).

moneyistooshorttomention

Out of interest...how much caring do you provide for your father?

I presume you are doing all the housework (ie not just a fair half share of it)?

Are you doing his shopping? cooking?

Are you doing any personal care for him or do you envisage there might come a time in the future when "personal care" would come into the equation?

What sort of state of health is your father in? Can he cope on his own but he just chooses not to (and you ARE a woman and "women are supposed to do this" in your fathers book)?

Laney2

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

I wondered why on earth your father was paying your brother rent to live in his own home. So your brother has convinced your father that the "gift" of half the house applied immediately. Mygawd...so your brother wanted some benefit from his "inheritance" before your father even died!:eek: Your brother beats all belief and appears to have your father wound round his little finger.

Hence, I guess, why your father is expecting you to pay most of his bills for him...his way of finding the money to pay your grasping brother "rent" to live in his own home:shocked:

I'm so glad that you can understand my issues, I doubted my own logic. My brother did not as far as I know, get 'rent' from my dad before I moved in. I have said to my brother,that I can't believe he takes basically half my dad's pension from him each month! My brother has his own business. He had 2 visits from the tax man demanding £30,000! My dad told me this. Money was 'borrowed' from my dad I'm not sure of amount as I'm not involved with any of my dad's finances. My brother cannot do a thing wrong in my dad's eyes. I'm my own dad's words 'I am nothing because I am a divorced single lady, 'if I get married again I become his daughter and my son becomes his grandson again' he is extremely sexist in his views. (I was married before I had my son;my brother lives with his long term partner, 2 children and they have never married!)

moneyistooshorttomention

This is why I am putting the situation as I see it as an outsider. I had the distinct feeling you would be wondering whether you could possibly be right in seeing things as unfair.

If your brother is as adapt as he appears to be at convincing your father that "black is white" and your father has such outdated views then I knew you would be doubting yourself in seeing things rather more clearly than they do.

Do NOT doubt yourself. You sound as if you are the only one seeing things clearly out of the three of you.

charlie3090

Well Laney,if you are "nothing",who does all the running around for him then?,
jeez,the more I read this,the more angry I get for you,
tell me hun,do you work?,do you need a carer for your son ?,
try and give us a bit more detail about your living costs,what you pay,
what your dad pays etc,
C x

Laney2

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Out of interest...how much caring do you provide for your father?

I presume you are doing all the housework (ie not just a fair half share of it)?

Are you doing his shopping? cooking?

Are you doing any personal care for him or do you envisage there might come a time in the future when "personal care" would come into the equation?

What sort of state of health is your father in? Can he cope on his own but he just chooses not to (and you ARE a woman and "women are supposed to do this" in your fathers book)?

I do all the house work and cleaning and provide all the items needed, washing cooking gardening etc. He could not cope on his own before I moved in with him-this being the main reason I did it. The house was in a bad state of repair, my dad had become a hoarder so house was in poor state. He was in a pretty poor mental state. Had no hot running water and only form of heating was a wood burning stove. I used to take him meals up, do his washing and try and tidy up a bit when I didn't live there. When I brought this up, my dad said Whoopy-do' . My brother to this day states; 'He was happy' I have tried to get him assessed for dementia, but the test they did he had no problem with ;dates adding numbers etc' my dad is a very clever and intelligent man. My brother is very clever too.

moneyistooshorttomention

If the taxman has been after your brother for those sorts of amounts (ie not peanuts then!) then I would not be that surprised if your brother has found some way to immediately access the other "half" of your fathers house.

I am wondering if your brother might have persuaded your father to take out a hefty loan to cover the tax bill.

If so, then maybe the loan company are regarding the house (well the "half" your brother doesn't "own already" I bet:cool:) as some sort of security for ensuring this loan gets paid back?

It may be that the situation is even worse than you originally stated and there may not be much (secure) equity left in that house courtesy of any loan secured on it.

It may be that the reason your brother is chasing you to pay rent to him as well is to cover loan payments on his loan??

It doesn't look as if your brother is going to stop until he has grabbed every penny tied-up in your fathers house.

You need that solicitor appointment URGENTLY to see what, if anything, you can salvage out of the money you invested in this house. Get on the phone today and make an appointment with one to find out what your position is more clearly.

charlie3090

Just to add,your brother seems to be a master manipulator,do not be
surprised if your dad has took out loans to "help" him etc and should
your dad pass away this would all be paid out of the estate before you got your "half",
worst case scenario I know but anything is possible,
C x.

charlie3090

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

If the taxman has been after your brother for those sorts of amounts (ie not peanuts then!) then I would not be that surprised if your brother has found some way to immediately access the other "half" of your fathers house.

I am wondering if your brother might have persuaded your father to take out a hefty loan to cover the tax bill.

If so, then maybe the loan company are regarding the house (well the "half" your brother doesn't "own already" I bet:cool:) as some sort of security for ensuring this loan gets paid back?

It may be that the situation is even worse than you originally stated and there may not be much (secure) equity left in that house courtesy of any loan secured on it.

It may be that the reason your brother is chasing you to pay rent to him as well is to cover loan payments on his loan??

It doesn't look as if your brother is going to stop until he has grabbed every penny tied-up in your fathers house.

You need that solicitor appointment URGENTLY to see what, if anything, you can salvage out of the money you invested in this house. Get on the phone today and make an appointment with one to find out what your position is more clearly.

both thinking the same thing,but you put it so much better:)

Laney2

charlie3090 wrote: »

Well Laney,if you are "nothing",who does all the running around for him then?,
jeez,the more I read this,the more angry I get for you,
tell me hun,do you work?,do you need a carer for your son ?,
try and give us a bit more detail about your living costs,what you pay,
what your dad pays etc,
C x

I am carer for my son; i have only recently started working again now he is at college age and slightly less dependant. I pay everything that involves running and maintaining the house. The ONLY expense he has is his own telephone (I have my supplied though Virgin media with the tv package) I provide my dad with his own cable box) the house has 2 living rooms so we each have our own)council tax and recently house insurance. The bills are in my name. My dad recently got £300 winter fuel allowance and would not even contribute any of this to the gas and electric-which I pay!