Family and housing help needed

C_Mababejive

As advised, i fear you are in a perilous situation. The sharks are circling and the carrion are already picking the carcass of a poor man not yet dead.

Check land reg.

Move out

ERICS_MUM

I don't understand why some of you advice OP to move out - could you explain the benefits of doing so please ?

C_Mababejive

ERICS_MUM wrote: »

I don't understand why some of you advice OP to move out - could you explain the benefits of doing so please ?

She has no security of tenure.

BigAunty

ERICS_MUM wrote: »

I don't understand why some of you advice OP to move out - could you explain the benefits of doing so please ?

Not sure there is any point in discussing the benefits of moving out, just that she can't stay there if her father (or brother who is the co-owner) won't indulge her.

She's not a co-owner. If her brother is an owner (not clear if there has been an actual change to the deeds or just a future gift via a will), he can take up residence there whenever he likes.

There doesn't seem to be a formal tenancy in place, at most, she seems to be a lodger (or excluded occupier) of her father and doesn't have any more rights than a visiting guest. Perhaps her brother refused to accept rent, knowing this would automatically create a tenancy and it would be harder to evict her?

She has invested in the property so if it was a loan or if she was promised security of tenure, she must seek legal advice on this. She hasn't outlined if there were any formal contracts/agreements in place.

Halle71

C_Mababejive wrote: »

She has no security of tenure.

Ie. start again?

You say your relationship with your dad isn't great? Presumably he appreciates what you have done for him AT HIS REQUEST. My first course of action would be to sit down and explain the consequences of what you (suspect) he has done as outlined in some of the scenarios above. I would then outline what I thought was fair and here is what I personally would want (written in layman's terms).

By the way, I know it has been mentioned that it is very distasteful counting out an old man's money before he is dead, but I also think he has caused a lot of this and is already thinking about how his money is distributed.

I would want to come out with the following:
1. What I have invested minus fair rent.
2. Any appreciation that would have occurred on the property I had been asked to sell.
3. Half of any inheritance remaining, should there be any left after care home fees etc.

I have no idea how this would be done legally but a solicitor would be able to help.

As other posters have said, I would now be very worried that my brother's inheritance is protected but there is not even a guarantee that the money I have put in/lost as a result of helping my father is protected, let alone any inheritance. If anything the father should have gifted half the house to the OP to protect her investment.

Kynthia

ERICS_MUM wrote: »

I don't understand why some of you advice OP to move out - could you explain the benefits of doing so please ?

I think only one has suggested that. The OP is possibly now living in a house that is jointly owned by the dad and the brother. This wouldn't be a problem if they had not of invested their own money in it. So now this money is at risk, staying there long term is uncertain so the roof over their head is at risk, and although the other half of the property is being left to them in the will it is far from certain they will ever receive it for more than one reason.

I would suggest checking the property ownership as others have said then maybe getting legal advice about their investment, security of tenure, can the brother charge rent. and what happens if the father needs to go into care.

moneyistooshorttomention

Do hope this situation works out okay for you OP.

It obviously wouldn't be right to even think in terms of paying rent to live in your fathers place, because you owned your own house and sold it to suit him. If you had been in rented accommodation anyway prior to moving in, then you would be saving money on rent. Because you were in your own home...then that doesn't apply (ie as no rent money is being saved by you).

Your father has played a very crafty trick on you basically. It sounds a lot like he was just after an unpaid live-in carer and chose you out of his two children (based probably partly on outdated assumptions of its a womans job to be a carer and not a mans...hence part of why he chose you, rather than his male child).

He then proceeded to let you spend your own money on the house, knowing very well that you would be increasing the value of the house and should therefore have more than half left to you just from that fact alone.

I would say you should inherit the whole house come the time, courtesy of the fact that you will have been unpaid carer for some years (and your brother let off the hook totally) AND having invested money in the house.

Clearly neither your father nor your brother are seeing this in a fair light. I don't know what age you are...but maybe your father has a few other sexist assumptions (along the lines of "when I die she can always get married to someone and he will help support and house her"). Even if you are still relatively young...that is an assumption that it is not his place to make. No-one should feel forced into getting married just in order to support themselves financially. That is a very outdated outlook as to how womens lives should be.

Then comes the "Suppose he has to go into a home anyway" factor and you'd be really up the swanee as the Government grabs for the equity tied up in the house and blow you....

Does your father not realise the Care Home factor or has he got you lined-up to care for him regardless of just how ill he gets?

In your position I'd be off to see a solicitor for an hour's chat in the New Year and take with you any proof you have of what you spent on your fathers house. Best to get a legal bods brain working on this, to see if there is a way to protect your interests. I would also keep a diary of how much care you think you are giving the Selfish Old Man you landed up with for a father in an average week.

What can I say? I do feel for you for being between the Rock of a Shortsighted (at the least) Old Man Father and a Selfish Brother.

Take care.

EDIT: the one possible redeeming factor you might have is if you are 60 or over. I think possibly you might have a bit of leverage to have the local Council rehouse you when Selfish Father dies, as otherwise you might be threatening to barricade yourself into your (ie fathers) house, rather than let them grab it for care home fee purposes.

Mojisola

Laney2515 wrote: »

He advises me to sell my house, and with the proceeds I renovated his house to a more liveable standard fitting and paying for kitchen, bathroom, patio, front and rear upvc doors, part double glazing, conservatory, gas main fitted to enable central heating, decorating and carpet.

Also I paid for all bills except for council tax which he pays for.

I do all the cleaning, washing,gardening and furnishing and all household items.

I am the only one who has spent any money on the house.

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Your father has played a very crafty trick on you basically. It sounds a lot like he was just after an unpaid live-in carer

He then proceeded to let you spend your own money on the house, knowing very well that you would be increasing the value of the house and should therefore have more than half left to you just from that fact alone.

I would say you should inherit the whole house come the time, courtesy of the fact that you will have been unpaid carer for some years (and your brother let off the hook totally) AND having invested money in the house.

In your position I'd be off to see a solicitor for an hour's chat in the New Year and take with you any proof you have of what you spent on your fathers house. Best to get a legal bods brain working on this, to see if there is a way to protect your interests.

It's shocking that your father encouraged you to give up your own home and since has got you to paid all the household bills and do all the work in the house!

While you have been spending your money paying keeping his house warm and maintained and him fed and looked after, he has been giving your brother £200 a month! He's given him half the house and money every month!

As money says - see a solicitor and ask about "beneficial interest" that you may have gained by investing in the house.

There are a lot of problems that you need to sort out for your own and your son's protection.

How can a loving father put you in such an awful position, let alone his autistic grandson?

moneyistooshorttomention

But there are parents like it...just because someone is a persons parent doesn't mean they will automatically put them first (or even equal) to themselves when it comes to whose interests to consider.

We all go "Ah:A:T" when we spot newspaper articles about a parent that has risked/maybe even lost their own life to protect their child. That is what parents SHOULD be like in an ideal world...but its the case that we all know they ARENT all like that.

Some are Mums and Dads and some are people who just happen to be parents to someone but don't know the meaning of the word "parent".

I guess its possible to understand when they come from the generation before the Baby Boomer generation, as Baby Boomers are the first generation in history to have chosen to be parents...but the generation before us got "landed" with it whether they wanted to or no (ie because of not having the control over these matters that Boomers onwards have). Its possible to feel sorry for that "last of the no choice about it generations"...but its no excuse for them taking the view that the world (or at least their own children) owes them a living.

EDIT: and Mojisola is correct that the father was also pulling it to have nearly all his bills covered for him as well by OP. Note to OP: whose name is on those bills? Is it your name and, if so, then I guess that could constitute some sort of proof that you have been paying your fathers bills for him. It strikes me as possibly another bit of craftiness on your fathers part that the Council Tax bill is in his name...as in maybe he is trying to keep "proof" that the bills are being paid by him (even though they aren't in effect). Now wondering whether Selfish Dad has been claiming the single person discount on CT by not admitting that you live there too? That might be one other possible "lever" you have....as, if he has been getting that discount, then he wont want the Council to know he's been wrongly doing so.

bryanb

Amazing how many new posters start a thread like this and then sit back to enjoy reading.

Laney made 3 posts in 4 minutes then disappeared into the ether.