Eating meals at friends / family's homes

fabforty

I would understand your husbands' posisiton if he did not/could not see the problem. The fact that he can agrees that the house is dirty and unhygienic, yet still insists that you and the children go there and eat, is troubling.

SuzieSue

If my husband insisted on putting our children's health in proven danger I am afraid that he wouldn't be my husband for much longer.

I am amazed that the OP is only worrying about a row which might spoil her children's Christmas. I think that death or serious damage from food poisoning might spoil it a bit more.

If her husband is so irresponsible I don't think he should have become a father.

The OP just needs to say to her husband that she and their children will not be going to the MIl's house again unless it is cleaned up and her MIL improves her food hygiene.

SuzieSue

Oh, and if her husband still insists on going himself then she should ensure that he has adequate life insurance.

happy_to_be_here

I hope he comes to his senses soon and apologizes! My mil's house is always tidy but I don't eat and rarely drink anything while I'm there as her dishes always have little bits of good stuck to them and it seems everything I used to have a drink I'd be just over halfway and discover bits of the previous drink glass to the bottom of the glass. Add that to the fact that she has a cat that gets to wander over the worktops and that I know she doesn't always wash her hands after the loo and I just can't do it

tinkerfairy

We compromised. He was going to eat there but myself and the kids weren't going to but just visited. In the end nobody ate there as the food went off on the 23rd but she kept insisting it would be ok. His brothers girlfriend took her own drink with her and wouldn't eat there so it certainly isn't just me.

Errata

Good grief, the woman's barking!

*max*

How can she not realise the filth she lives in? Does she ever go to other people's houses? I'm thinking there's got to be a deeper sitted problem here. Nobody in their right mind would think living like this is "normal"! And trust me, I'm no Mary Poppins.

tinkerfairy

I told my husband to tell her if she cleaned it up we would visit more as she always moans she doesn't see the kids much. He said he can't tell her that it would upset her and how would I like it if someone told me I was dirty

SuzieSue

tinkerfairy wrote: »

I told my husband to tell her if she cleaned it up we would visit more as she always moans she doesn't see the kids much. He said he can't tell her that it would upset her and how would I like it if someone told me I was dirty

If your MIL does not realise that her house is dirty then she has serious mental health problems.

Just tell your husband that if he refuses to do anything about the state of her house then your children's visits will be kept to a minimum for their own safety.

How old are your children?

Bennifred

tinkerfairy wrote: »

I told my husband to tell her if she cleaned it up we would visit more as she always moans she doesn't see the kids much. He said he can't tell her that it would upset her and how would I like it if someone told me I was dirty

I think he's really doing her no favours by not telling her. Who else is going to look out for her if her own son won't? Surely it is better for him to tell her than anyone else? He's being a coward. I'm amazed that she hasn't been seriously physically ill before now. She's obviously not well mentally.