Eating meals at friends / family's homes

Ms_Chocaholic

My MIL was pretty grotty too, the house stank of dog but the dishes etc always appeared clean, it was mainly the smell and the floors. Believe it or not my MIL worked as a cook in a school!!!!!

When we visited, it was some distance so we had to go for a few days at a time, we used to liberally spread Vicks up our nostrils so we didn't smell the stench so much, it worked but didn't block it out completely. Just a tip for others who have filthy relatives who they are obliged to visit over the Christmas period.

Anoneemoose

I just wanted to say I hope you stick to your guns OP. I actually gagged reading this. You poor thing. This situation would actually make me panic. I am not ocd for cleanliness (although do have other traits) but I would fear that so much it would probably make me cry!

Luckily my family and friends are clean freaks!!

Good luck and Merry Christmas!xx

tinkerfairy

Anoneemoose wrote: »

I just wanted to say I hope you stick to your guns OP. I actually gagged reading this. You poor thing. This situation would actually make me panic. I am not ocd for cleanliness (although do have other traits) but I would fear that so much it would probably make me cry!

Luckily my family and friends are clean freaks!!

Good luck and Merry Christmas!xx

It is ruining my christmas spirit as I am worrying over it and worrying over a row spoiling the children's Christmas.

MidLifeCrisis_3

I really feel for you! My Mum has never been the best housewife and as a result we grew up in a messy/grubby house, but on the whole it was hygienic. My Dad grew up in a clean and tidy house so my Mum's standards drive him potty. Her parents take it to another level and it sounds exactly like you describe - pure filth and grime. We even cleared and decontaminated it a few times, but within weeks it was back to the same old stinking state. Now, except for Mum, we have all stopped visiting except on birthdays which does upset my Mum. When we do go we even refuse a glass of water as everything is so filthy and disgusting and there's no way we would use the bathroom. Dad once remarked on him making sandwiches having just used the loo and not his washing hands to be told, what would you do on when there's no facilities then! Personal hygiene is non-existent, they both smell terrible and when they visit they stink the room out. It's very sad and we wish things could be different as there is really no need for it. My house is clean, not always as tidy as a result of 2 kids, but I am certainly not an antibac clean freak. The 2 min rule applies with food going on our own plates in our house, but not when serving guests!

I would put my foot down, make it clear you are going to your Dad's, but invite her and brother's family over later on Boxing Day or on the weekend saying you must visit your Dad as prearranged, but she is more than welcome to bring the food over for you to cook/serve at your house as you would hate it to go to waste. Don't accept any help in the kitchen, discretely chuck out whatever you don't want to use or burn it to an inedible state and substitute for your own buffet food, etc.

Good luck hope you figure it out with the support of your OH.

seven-day-weekend

I would remind your husband of the food poisoning incident. Surely he does not want his children to risk food poisoning?

Then I would visit your dad as planned and invite your m-i-l over to your house.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

tinkerfairy wrote: »

It is ruining my christmas spirit as I am worrying over it and worrying over a row spoiling the children's Christmas.

Get up early, stick to your original plans, pop something in the oven on to cook slow and refuse to divert from your course and if he goes mad, tell him he can go and next time to discuss with you any plans he might want to make for the family before he makes them.

kezzygirl

could you invite her over to your dad's and ak her to bring her food too? I think your dad should take presidence in this one...he has been ill,after all.

ps.I wouldn't have ANY man 'telling' me what to do...especially if he is putting your health and that of the children at risk.he needs to get real.

FatVonD

I was going to say I'd put up with it until I read about the poor personal hygiene too :eek: and then it got even worse with the blood in the fridge :rotfl:

I think I'd turn up with fish and chips for everyone (eaten out of the wrapper) and let her keep her food for another day.

Fen1

Enough is enough.

Your little brother in law stays with you because he cannot stand the conditions at home. The house is DANGEROUSLY filthy - blood in the fridge, half-cooked meat etc. She is being NEGLIGENT and is putting your little bil's life at stake.

Report her to SS. She is an unfit mother.

Slinky

Your father is recovering from cancer, I'd tell your husband no way can you risk yourself, himself or the kids getting some sort of infection/food poisoning and then coming into contact with your Dad the following day when presumably his immune system is still not at it's best. Your Dad's health takes priority over your MILs poor hygiene.