Eating meals at friends / family's homes

paulineb_2

Not washing or taking care of yourself can be a sign of depression. I worked with many young people over the years who had depression, lived in filth pits and didnt wash themselves.

I also worked with people who could do it if they wanted to and were just bone idle.

Either way, if my mum was living like this there is no way on earth Id just sit back and say nothing.

I have read articles that suggest that people who hoard (Im not sure if shes a hoarder from recollection) are also suffering from a mental health issue.

Again, I dont think everyone with depression lives like this but some do.

j.e.j.

Can we have an update, OP

Did you all go round to the mother in law and her scuzzy house in the end, or were you able to get out of going?

paulineb_2

j.e.j. wrote: »

Can we have an update, OP

Did you all go round to the mother in law and her scuzzy house in the end, or were you able to get out of going?

They did go, I think, she already posted, they just didnt eat anything while they were there.

tinkerfairy

j.e.j. wrote: »

Can we have an update, OP

Did you all go round to the mother in law and her scuzzy house in the end, or were you able to get out of going?

We went there on the understanding we wouldn't be eating. His brothers partner didn't eat either nor his kids. Just his sons were going to but then the chicken had a date on it of 23rd so hubby threw it in the bin despite mil insisting it would be ok and moaning it was binned.

dktreesea

tinkerfairy wrote: »

We went there on the understanding we wouldn't be eating. His brothers partner didn't eat either nor his kids. Just his sons were going to but then the chicken had a date on it of 23rd so hubby threw it in the bin despite mil insisting it would be ok and moaning it was binned.

Oh wow, tinkerfairy! You must be so glad this Christmas is over.:( I too draw the line at out of date meat. I just wish your partner and his brother would say something to her. Maybe you should ask your partner if he wants anything adverse happening to his Mum? Just because she feels physically safe managing herself and her house the way she does, doesn't mean she actually is physically safe.

themull1

if it was my mother, I would tell her! As its your mother in law, its your husbands responsibility to tell her - just be brutal - you stink, and live in a [EMAIL="sh@t"]sh@t[/EMAIL] hole, tidy up or we won't come round. Tough if its harsh, she must realise. Or buy her a deep clean - her house I mean!

MidLifeCrisis_3

Not caring and pig headed stubbornness is often the cause. My dad gets on at my mum about being too scared to say anything to her parents, in all fairness she has tried only to be told "it's my house". I know it's not nice for her knowing her parents live like that. When we were little we used to have to go and spend the whole day there and eat there, always when my dad was working as mum knew he wouldn't go near the place. Dad wasn't happy with this, but what could he do. Now we are older we refuse to go too, unless it's birthdays and we never eat or drink anything and sometimes even choose to stand up the whole time rather than sit! I live by mopping floors when they need it too and don't wash up every little thing, but I like my place to be clean and tidy, especially when receiving visitors - shame it only last til the kids come in!

It was a hard one, but well done for going and binning the food. Now you can plan things better for next time or next year.

Rottensocks

tinkerfairy wrote: »

It has totally ruined my christmas as I had planned Boxing Day bought all the food for us etc. we as going to visit my dad who has just came out of hospital after having a major operation due to cancer then relax in the evening with a little buffet just us and the kids.

She told him she's bought food for us and he said we are going . My plans been thrown out of the window.

It's really ruining my christmas knowing I have to sit there and be nagged at for not eating. I don't like the thought of the children eating there either.

But in this example, its your other half who has ruined your plans, by just agreeing that you're going without discussing it. Perhaps you could visit your father alone instead of this visit? He is, after all in hospital?

nickj_2

why haven't her sons done anything to help her , whether she likes it or not , just go round there and blitz the place ,what sort of sons would allow their parents to live like that and not do anything about it

spirit

nickj wrote: »

why haven't her sons done anything to help her , whether she likes it or not , just go round there and blitz the place ,what sort of sons would allow their parents to live like that and not do anything about it

in post #17 the OP tells us they used to do her cleaning til told not to.