Neice complaining about the size of a present

jemb

angeltreats wrote: »

I was an only child and obviously had my own room, but I was most definitely not spoilt. My parents didn't have a lot of money and I understood this and never asked for very much. Santa always brought what I wanted, but my lists were never very long and I was (and still am) grateful for any presents no matter how big or small. And when I was a child I wrote a thank you letter to every single person who ever gave me a present for birthdays or Christmas.

Bit unfair to generalise.

Incidentally, my parents have some very wealthy friends (they were very close friends, more like family really) who always used to buy very expensive and generous presents. My mum used to feel slightly embarrassed at their generosity, but I know that they were given out of love and not out of any sort of obligation. They stopped buying for me when I got older but to this day I still send them a Christmas card and keep in touch, and go to see them when I'm visiting my parents (as I now live in a different country). Had they stopped buying for me when I was a child I would not have felt aggrieved in any way as I considered them to be family and loved them to bits. I suspect your niece's sense of entitlement has been instilled by the way she's been raised and are nothing to do with being an only child.

I'm an only child and it wasnt me generalising - that's my point. My baby will also be an only child, making her 3rd generation only child. It as a result cant be that harmful.

I also had to do the thank you card thing, as will my little girl. It's a common misconception of people with more than one child who presume that an only child will be a brat. We're not, you generally fine that they have more time invested in them.

OrkneyStar

DS is an only child. Of course he has his own room, but let's face it, so do a lot of children who live with siblings. He is not spoilt either. I spend a bit more time with him that I could if we had more children or he had siblings to play with, but to me that is just spending time, not spoiling.
As for the child who wants a bigger or better whatever, best thing to do is ignore that sort of request!

pambler

In our family when the kids were younger we all agreed a rough value limit of £10 per child - this was regardless of the number of children in the family (e.g. I have two kids - brother in law had five). It just helped to keep everything in perspective, and everyone know where they stood. When gift ideas were requested, we knew what we were working with. The trouble with expensive gifts is that they set a precedent, set expectations and I'm not sure that the kids even really appreciate them any more than a cheaper gift.

If you get into the 'I have fewer children, therefore you should spend more' or 'your family has more money than mine' then to me, you probably should not be exchanging gifts at all as it is not being done in the right spirit.

bagginslover

isitchristmasyet123 wrote: »

My brother and his wife think I have pots of money....

......It is not unusual for me to spend in excess of £150 at christmas.......

I think you have pots of money, thats my entire xmas present budget, for 13 people!

But, if you want advice, siply buy her one small present from now on, and no cash. Shes very obviously ungrateful, give her reason to be.

Horace

I too am an only child but wasn't spoilt in any way. I also had to write thank you letters - it did me no harm.

I would be inclined to stop sending your niece presents and just send a family present such as a box of biscuits if you feel the need to send something. Ungrateful little madams do not deserve anything.

DaveTheMus

Stop worrying about gossip.....buy what you're comfortable with