Neice complaining about the size of a present

Pollycat

isitchristmasyet123 wrote: »

Many thanks for the replies.
I am actually pleased a couple of people think I am a troll. It just means that it is too ridiculous for words.
No need for any more replies. I don't want this to turn into a slanging match.
I am just anticipating what to say when they complain.
Thanks all.

I'm afraid that's out of your hands now.

You can't just say you don't want any more replies.
And, just so you know, deleting your original post won't make any difference as it's already been quoted and that will stay.
And, just to make sure, here are your 2 posts preserved for posterity:

isitchristmasyet123 wrote: »

My brother and his wife think I have pots of money, (We have not) because our two kids go to a private school, we have a bigger house, better car etc. I know that his wife's family gossip about this because someone told me.
Because he has to buy for two at christmas, it is only fair that his daughter gets twice what he spends.
However, because I know that they gossip about us I spend far far more. It is not unusual for me to spend in excess of £150 at christmas, even though they spend about £25 each on ours.
I do this because I am not having them say we are mean. I usually give a present plus a large amount of cash because that is what they ask for. In fact sometimes I have even spent more on her than my own two because my own two do not care a jot about money/presents etc.
Anyway, earlier this year I bought a birthday present for a neighbour's son who is about the same age as my neice and who is having a hard time about it and who now lives with brother and his wife temporarily. They are getting paid from for this. They would never do anything for nothing. The money comes from a trust fund.
Neice complained that I had spent the same on them both.
I was not happy. My two children (late teens) are furious about this as they know that I spend a lot on her present. She is not a likeable child (perhaps because she is an only child and very selfish and aggresive) Mine try very hard with her to no avail.
So this year I have spent next to nothing neice. Bought everything from charity shops. All boxed and looking like new of course. Nevertheless, it is clear that I have spent nowhere near the same as I usually do. However I have still probably spent more on the two than they have spent.
I know after christmas this will be complained about.
What do I say? I think they will say something on the lines of just give her money next time.
I realise that I should not have been so generous and maybe I should not have needed to. I would add that it is not about "showing off" as they know that I was never one to spent tons on toys for mine.
Perhaps I have been spiteful about this year's present and I am beginning to worry now.
Any advice appreciated.

isitchristmasyet123 wrote: »

I was a bit worried that if I posted the circumstances on here that I would considered spiteful towards a 14 year old girl. I actually feel spiteful.
She told my son once that she should get more than them because you have more money than us. It was a long time ago and I think she had overheard the conversation and was obviously too young to realise what she was saying.
I could not get her nothing. That would make me wrong.
What do I say if they ask for money in the future instead of gifts?

paulineb_2

I think she means she spends twice as much as she has one kid to buy for and she has two kids so her brother spends twice as much

newcook

To be honest, Id tell them to jog on if they complained about you not spending enough!!! And as for them asking for money next time I’d tell them you don’t like to give money as a gift.

Just because you have a bigger house and your children are in private school doesn’t mean you have more disposable money than them – if anything its quite possible their disposable pot is bigger than yours as you have bigger outgoings!

Christmas is a time for families and friends to spend time together, not for spending stupid amounts of money!

mummyroysof3

If they say anything negative about gift tell them that sounds very ungrateful so you won't be giving a gift in the future

balletshoes

Got to give the OP top marks for detail ~ i applaud you !

gregg1

isitchristmasyet123 wrote: »

My brother and his wife think I have pots of money, (We have not) because our two kids go to a private school, we have a bigger house, better car etc. I know that his wife's family gossip about this because someone told me.
Because he has to buy for two at christmas, it is only fair that his daughter gets twice what he spends.
However, because I know that they gossip about us I spend far far more. It is not unusual for me to spend in excess of £150 at christmas, even though they spend about £25 each on ours.
I do this because I am not having them say we are mean. I usually give a present plus a large amount of cash because that is what they ask for. In fact sometimes I have even spent more on her than my own two because my own two do not care a jot about money/presents etc.
Anyway, earlier this year I bought a birthday present for a neighbour's son who is about the same age as my neice and who is having a hard time about it and who now lives with brother and his wife temporarily. They are getting paid from for this. They would never do anything for nothing. The money comes from a trust fund.
Neice complained that I had spent the same on them both.
I was not happy. My two children (late teens) are furious about this as they know that I spend a lot on her present. She is not a likeable child (perhaps because she is an only child and very selfish and aggresive) Mine try very hard with her to no avail.
So this year I have spent next to nothing neice. Bought everything from charity shops. All boxed and looking like new of course. Nevertheless, it is clear that I have spent nowhere near the same as I usually do. However I have still probably spent more on the two than they have spent.
I know after christmas this will be complained about.
What do I say? I think they will say something on the lines of just give her money next time.
I realise that I should not have been so generous and maybe I should not have needed to. I would add that it is not about "showing off" as they know that I was never one to spent tons on toys for mine.
Perhaps I have been spiteful about this year's present and I am beginning to worry now.
Any advice appreciated.

I really dislike the fact that you appear to be generalising that just because someone is an only child then they are unlikeable, selfish and aggressive.

Most of the kids I know who are only children are none of those things. In fact quite a few of them behave better than kids with siblings!

ViolaLass

newcook wrote: »

To be honest, Id tell them to jog on if they complained about you not spending enough!!! And as for them asking for money next time I’d tell them you don’t like to give money as a gift.

Just because you have a bigger house and your children are in private school doesn’t mean you have more disposable money than them – if anything its quite possible their disposable pot is bigger than yours as you have bigger outgoings!

But even if they DO have more disposable income, there's still no obligation to spend more!

Adrenalina

I can't believe the amount of money being bandied about here in terms of entitlement. Your whole family needs a good reality check.

Errata

Hoist with your own petard, duckie. Enjoy your spiteful Christmas.

arbroath_lass

Why would you say anything? Don't justify yourself to anyone.

If you must say something, I'd say Christmas is for kids and you're cutting back as she is almost an adult. Then add that the gifts stop at 16.