Neice complaining about the size of a present

Indie_Kid

I was talking to my mum a few weeks ago regarding birthday and Christmas presents. She said last year she'd spent a bit more on my brother and sister than she did me. She also explained that with them, it was a joint birthday and Christmas present. She said that this year, my present has cost slightly more than theirs.

I'd rather have a cheap present that I like, rather than something expensive that sits in its box and I do nothing with.

mandragora_2

Do you think the troll sits there with a tick-box list or a tally chart?

Get her nothing - tick
I buy from charity shops myself - tick
Never did me any harm - tick
I feel your pain the same thing happened to me - tick
This sums up everything that's wrong with Christmas - pending

and finally:
OMG, are you my mean cow of a S-I-L, I hate you so much, you penny-pinching c*w? - anticipated arrival: p3 of this thread

Lieja

How old is she?

You don't have to buy anything, or answer to them afterwards if you do. How ungrateful, and what horrible parents to allow her to even mention the size of a gift, let alone compare it to gifts you've given to others!

Laurajo_2

isitchristmasyet123 wrote: »

I was a bit worried that if I posted the circumstances on here that I would considered spiteful towards a 14 year old girl. I actually feel spiteful.
She told my son once that she should get more than them because you have more money than us. It was a long time ago and I think she had overheard the conversation and was obviously too young to realise what she was saying.
I could not get her nothing. That would make me wrong.
What do I say if they ask for money in the future instead of gifts?

Just say you don't believe in giving money. And that includes their gift. You don't 'owe' them anything.

ViolaLass

isitchristmasyet123 wrote: »

My brother and his wife think I have pots of money, (We have not) because our two kids go to a private school, we have a bigger house, better car etc. I know that his wife's family gossip about this because someone told me.
Because he has to buy for two at christmas, it is only fair that his daughter gets twice what he spends. I don't understand what this means.
However, because I know that they gossip about us I spend far far more. Why? It is not unusual for me to spend in excess of £150 at christmas, even though they spend about £25 each on ours. I don't think the relative amounts spent is that relevant. What matters is whether you're comfortable with what you spend.
I do this because I am not having them say we are mean. So what if they do? I usually give a present plus a large amount of cash because that is what they ask for. In fact sometimes I have even spent more on her than my own two because my own two do not care a jot about money/presents etc. So "I want..." gets?
Anyway, earlier this year I bought a birthday present for a neighbour's son who is about the same age as my neice and who is having a hard time about it and who now lives with brother and his wife temporarily. They are getting paid from for this. You PAID them to buy a present for someone else? Or do you mean you refunded them? They would never do anything for nothing. The money comes from a trust fund. Relevance?
Neice complained that I had spent the same on them both.
I was not happy. My two children (late teens) are furious about this as they know that I spend a lot on her present. She is not a likeable child (perhaps because she is an only child and very selfish and aggresive) Mine try very hard with her to no avail.
So this year I have spent next to nothing neice. Bought everything from charity shops. All boxed and looking like new of course. Nevertheless, it is clear that I have spent nowhere near the same as I usually do. However I have still probably spent more on the two than they have spent.
I know after christmas this will be complained about.
What do I say? I think they will say something on the lines of just give her money next time. Tell them to f*ck off. Or buy her a goat.
I realise that I should not have been so generous and maybe I should not have needed to. I would add that it is not about "showing off" as they know that I was never one to spent tons on toys for mine. If it's not about showing off, what is it about? Why would you care if they say you're mean? They're saying it anyway!
Perhaps I have been spiteful about this year's present and I am beginning to worry now.
Any advice appreciated.

What are you giving the presents for? The presents clearly aren't making these people or you happy so what's it for?

shop-to-drop

If they comment I'd suggest that both families stop present giving altogether and just give to our own families.

Pollycat

isitchristmasyet123 wrote: »

I could not get her nothing. That would make me wrong.

Why would it make you wrong?
I'm afraid I must have missed the bit in life's guidelines that says it is obligatory to buy gifts for anyone at all.

isitchristmasyet123 wrote: »

What do I say if they ask for money in the future instead of gifts?

What do you want to say?

Personally, I'd be having the conversation with my brother and his wife that starts:
'Look. Let's not bother buying gifts for each other's kids now they're growing up a bit.'

isitchristmasyet123

Many thanks for the replies.
I am actually pleased a couple of people think I am a troll. It just means that it is too ridiculous for words.
No need for any more replies. I don't want this to turn into a slanging match.
I am just anticipating what to say when they complain.
Thanks all.

kelpie35

isitchristmasyet123 wrote: »

I was a bit worried that if I posted the circumstances on here that I would considered spiteful towards a 14 year old girl. I actually feel spiteful.
She told my son once that she should get more than them because you have more money than us. It was a long time ago and I think she had overheard the conversation and was obviously too young to realise what she was saying.
I could not get her nothing. That would make me wrong.
What do I say if they ask for money in the future instead of gifts?

I would just say I think we should forget about giving presents in the future as the kids are much older now.

If you feel you must give something, I would be giving a selection box and nothing else.

I just don't understand why people get so stressed about present giving :mad:

Georgiegirl256

:T Very inventive! I eagerly await the next thrilling installment.