OH doesn't want to socialise at Christmas (or anytime)

andygb

Person_one wrote: »

Don't you realise the position that puts her in? Very inconsiderate.

You seem to be very contrary whenever I post Person One, so why exactly do you think it inconsiderate of me to check with my wife before making a decision on something?
Surely it would be inconsiderate to make the decision without consulting her?
Your move;)

arbroath_lass

andygb wrote: »

You seem to be very contrary whenever I post Person One, so why exactly do you think it inconsiderate of me to check with my wife before making a decision on something?
Surely it would be inconsiderate to make the decision without consulting her?
Your move;)

It's inconsiderate to discuss it with your cousins first.


Now your wife either has to agree or be made to look bad just for wanting some time to herself. Sorry, cuz, my wife says no. Can't you see why she would be annoyed at that?

kelpie35

You do seem a caring partner from you previous posts.

I think you should have discussed your idea with your OH first before inviting them over to your place.

Have you tried to explain to your OH how happy it would make you feel seeing your relatives?

I think you might have to arrange to meet up with them outside of the home and explain to them your OH is not feeling very sociable at the moment.

You need to have family and friends around you and she need to respect your wishes too.

I hope you have a lovely Christmas whatever happens and that the New Year brings all you wish for.

Person_one

arbroath_lass wrote: »

It's inconsiderate to discuss it with your cousins first.


Now your wife either has to agree or be made to look bad just for wanting some time to herself. Sorry, cuz, my wife says no. Can't you see why she would be annoyed at that?

What they said. Surely you can see this?

elsien

Sorry cousin, completely forgot me and OH had agreed to do xyz on Boxing day, brain like a sieve at the moment, can you do 27th instead? Or whatever.
Saves face all round, no-one put on the spot. Not so hard really.

andygb

flashnazia wrote: »

Has she always been like this? Could she be suffering from depressive type illness?

I think that this is a distinct possibility, and it makes me very sad, because she does not seem to take pleasure from anything (and has said to me many times that she has never been happy in her life).
I have only been in my latest job for a week, and this episode has left me drained - of joy, of hope.

Bennifred

If you want to spend time with your cousin and your OH doesn't, why don't you go to their house, or meet at a restaurant or something?

Person_one

andygb wrote: »

I think that this is a distinct possibility, and it makes me very sad, because she does not seem to take pleasure from anything (and has said to me many times that she has never been happy in her life).
I have only been in my latest job for a week, and this episode has left me drained - of joy, of hope.

What happened to the friends she had back in May?

andygb

elsien wrote: »

Sorry cousin, completely forgot me and OH had agreed to do xyz on Boxing day, brain like a sieve at the moment, can you do 27th instead? Or whatever.
Saves face all round, no-one put on the spot. Not so hard really.

Thanks Elsien, but I do not think it is a matter of dates - she just does not wish to invite them here:(

Billie-S

elsien wrote: »

Sorry cousin, completely forgot me and OH had agreed to do xyz on Boxing day, brain like a sieve at the moment, can you do 27th instead? Or whatever.
Saves face all round, no-one put on the spot. Not so hard really.

No chance of the OP saying this. From the way he's posting so far, he seems to think his partner is in the wrong and he is the one who is the victim.

He has put her in a very awkward position. This is very passive aggressive behaviour IMO.