Renewing wedding vows.

fluffnutter

catkins wrote: »

Sorry but I don't get why people wonder. With so many marriages ending in divorce I would have thought it would be looked on as a lovely idea to renew your vows.

That seems an odd argument. Because other people's marriages fail I need to renew my vows. Why?

fluffnutter

catkins wrote: »

What is wrong in celebrating the fact that you are still married after x amount of years, still in love and that neither of you have broken the vows you made?

What does 'x' mean? One year? Five years? Ten years? Twenty? Why not renew them EVERY YEAR!! Or why not just enjoy your wedding anniversary

And as for celebrating the fact that 'neither of you have broken the vows you made'... I should hope not! I don't need to 'celebrate' the fact that my husband (or I) haven't had an affair! It's a given. I don't take him for granted - every day I'm glad we married - but to wake up 'celebrating' that he's not shagged someone else seems utterly, utterly bizarre.

Dunroamin

catkins wrote: »

That may be true of the people you know but I am sure it is not true of everyone who renews their vows. It certainly is not true for me and OH. If one of us had been unfaithful we would not be such hypocrites to even think of renewing out vows.




Sadly today a high number of marriages end in divorce so most people DONT just stay married.


What is wrong in celebrating the fact that you are still married after x amount of years, still in love and that neither of you have broken the vows you made? I think that is romantic and for me would reinforce how I feel about marriage in general and my marriage in particular

But if you haven't, why the need to renew - in the old saying "if it ain't broke, don't fix it!"

Just have a lovely, romantic party to celebrate or, if you want more and are religious, have a blessing.

fluffnutter

I just think vow renewal is something that didn't exist until the companies whose business is in weddings and their associated fripperies told us we needed. <shrugs>

Dunroamin

fluffnutter wrote: »

I just think vow renewal is something that didn't exist until the companies whose business is in weddings and their associated fripperies told us we needed. <shrugs>

Another bloody American money making idea like "proms"!

Georgiegirl256

fluffnutter wrote: »

Why not renew them EVERY YEAR!!

Seal and Heidi Klum did that....didn't get them very far did it?!

Soleil_lune

I found this

http://voices.yahoo.com/how-why-couples-renew-their-wedding-386041.html

I think many people renew their vows to celebrate a milestone (maybe 25 years.)

And also apart from renewing vows after a long time, 25 years or so, as a celebration of their marriage, people do it if the first wedding didn't go too well. Also, survivors of things (cancer/serious accident) may do it, to celebrate their lives together.

I think 'because someone had an affair' is not one of the main reasons for doing it, and wonder why people are saying this. Maybe they are speaking from personal experience.

catkins

fluffnutter wrote: »

That seems an odd argument. Because other people's marriages fail I need to renew my vows. Why?

You don't need to renew your vows. I might but that doesn't mean I think other people should.

fluffnutter wrote: »

What does 'x' mean? One year? Five years? Ten years? Twenty? Why not renew them EVERY YEAR!! Or why not just enjoy your wedding anniversary

And as for celebrating the fact that 'neither of you have broken the vows you made'... I should hope not! I don't need to 'celebrate' the fact that my husband (or I) haven't had an affair! It's a given. I don't take him for granted - every day I'm glad we married - but to wake up 'celebrating' that he's not shagged someone else seems utterly, utterly bizarre.

I put the x rather than a number but I personally would not even think of renewing before 25 years. I do think after a year is silly and every year even more so (as someone mentioned Seal and his ex wife did that and they are now divorced).


It's a given for me and OH that we are not going to be unfaithful but you only have to look at friends, family, these forums to see that is not true for many many couples.


I don't particularly see it as celebrating the fact that neither of us has been unfaithful but many posters on here seem to think you only have a renewal of vows if one or both of you have been unfaithful.

fluffnutter wrote: »

I just think vow renewal is something that didn't exist until the companies whose business is in weddings and their associated fripperies told us we needed. <shrugs>

My wedding cost practically nothing and a renewal would be the same. I am certainly not someone who thinks a wedding is a big white dress, big cars and lots of expense.


If and when me and OH renew our vows we will only invite immediate family (my parents, my siblings and their families). His awful mother and sister who tried to ruin our wedding would certainly not be invited. We wouldn't probably invite any friends either. We would then just go for a meal.


We don't like parties which is why we would not have an anniversary party - didn't have one for our 25th or our 30th.


It may be possibly be just the two of us.

bagpussbear

I find it pointless.

If they need to be renewed, then that indicates the first ones were broken in which case the marriage was a sham (in my humble opinion).

If no breaking of vows has taken place, then why 'renew' something in existence already? I can understand a wedding anniversary party to celebrate of course, but to get someone professional to do the official bit, well to me that is pointless quite frankly.

Just have a nice big party instead :-)

redmel1621

I find it interesting how divided this subject is.

It is something that never really crossed my mind to do until someone else mentioned that they were planning it and I began to contemplate the significance of doing it.

We got married abroad, on our own, in Cyprus. So we had no family there and I was wondering if it would be a nice thing to do in order to include them, finally... However, My dad and my husbands mum are now both deceased. Both of our grandparents are too old and frail to attend so there doesn't seem much point in doing it for the 'family involvement' anymore.

I most certainly don't think our vows have run out, or the relationship has run it's course and needs to be restarted or anything like that. I suppose this is why I am torn on the subject...

On one hand not much point doing it, on the other a nice romantic gesture that could be like a fresh start after some crappy times

Thanks xx