Renewing wedding vows.

System

My happily married cousin renewed her vows a few years ago. She had been married 40+ years. It was a lovely occasion.


Hubby suggested it twice over the last 10 years but its not something I want to do.

FBaby

I understand wanting to celebrate special milestones in marriage but not the concept of renewing vows. As others have said if anything if gives to me the other message than that of celebrating a happy marriage but having to do it again because it failed first time round. I wouldn't attend one unless it was close family and wanted to avoid bad feelings.

Alikay

Ours was a registry office wedding, so we didn't say vows as such, just declared that we were legally able to marry and were doing it willingly, I think. I like that any promise we made or implied by the act of getting married is old, and still stands so I don't want to renew anything either.

catkins

Person_one wrote: »

I think its fairly obvious why people wonder.

Marriage vows don't expire, they aren't like a passport that you have to update every ten years!

Sorry but I don't get why people wonder. With so many marriages ending in divorce I would have thought it would be looked on as a lovely idea to renew your vows.


Of course marriage vows don't expire - it's just a shame so many people think so little of them - splitting up at the first problem, having affairs etc.

Errata

I'd be tempted to add some new vows to the renewed ones -

Her: I promise to tell him what to do
Him: I promise to do what I'm told

marisco_2

When friends or relatives have done this, it has always been because one party in the relationship has broken previously made vows. I have gone along and outwardly shown support all the while thinking 'what a mug for taking him/her back'. It doesn't matter how many times you say vows, if you dont mean them or have much intention of keeping to them then what is the point!

Person_one

catkins wrote: »

Sorry but I don't get why people wonder. With so many marriages ending in divorce I would have thought it would be looked on as a lovely idea to renew your vows.


Of course marriage vows don't expire - it's just a shame so many people think so little of them - splitting up at the first problem, having affairs etc.

But its not like there are only two choices, renew your vows or divorce! Most people just... stay married.

thorsoak

You know it never occurred to me that people who renew their vows are doing so because they've broken them!

To me, that is an absolutely shabby thing to do! After all - you've broken them once - so why renew them when one or other is likely to break them again? Definitely the wrong reason!

We CELEBRATED our vows - that's what I thought people did.

My cynicism must be wearing thin ...

catkins

marisco wrote: »

When friends or relatives have done this, it has always been because one party in the relationship has broken previously made vows. I have gone along and outwardly shown support all the while thinking 'what a mug for taking him/her back'. It doesn't matter how many times you say vows, if you dont mean them or have much intention of keeping to them then what is the point!

That may be true of the people you know but I am sure it is not true of everyone who renews their vows. It certainly is not true for me and OH. If one of us had been unfaithful we would not be such hypocrites to even think of renewing out vows.

Person_one wrote: »

But its not like there are only two choices, renew your vows or divorce! Most people just... stay married.

Sadly today a high number of marriages end in divorce so most people DONT just stay married.


What is wrong in celebrating the fact that you are still married after x amount of years, still in love and that neither of you have broken the vows you made? I think that is romantic and for me would reinforce how I feel about marriage in general and my marriage in particular

Person_one

catkins wrote: »

What is wrong in celebrating the fact that you are still married after x amount of years, still in love and that neither of you have broken the vows you made? I think that is romantic and for me would reinforce how I feel about marriage in general and my marriage in particular

Nothing wrong with that at all, I think its called an 'anniversary party'.