Need help thinking up an excuse for Santa

notanewuser · 13 December 2013 at 4:42PM

poet123 wrote: »

But she is 3...

When she is four she will be at school, and presumably then she will want to watch the same progs as her friends do? And, you cannot live or keep her as self contained and controlled as you appear to do now forever. She will be exposed to Santa.

And that's fine. That will be a more natural introduction to it, IF SHE WANTS IT, than us forcing it on her.

I control very little, actually. That's the point of child-led parenting.

quidsy · 13 December 2013 at 4:44PM

you seem to be missing the point that this is how most of us found our children beleiving in santa. you aren't actually doing anything original.

poet123 · 13 December 2013 at 4:48PM

notanewuser wrote: »

And that's fine. That will be a more natural introduction to it, IF SHE WANTS IT, than us forcing it on her.

I control very little, actually. That's the point of child-led parenting.

So, at three she is discerning enough to choose the TV channels without ads?;)

I am not sure about child led parenting beyond babyhood personally.

I think once they get past a certain age it is a nice sound bite but completely unworkable and dare I say it, undesirable, in practice!!

notanewuser · 13 December 2013 at 4:54PM

poet123 wrote: »

So, at three she is discerning enough to choose the TV channels without ads?;)

I am not sure about child led parenting beyond babyhood personally.

I think once they get past a certain age it is a nice sound bite but completely unworkable and dare I say it, undesirable, in practice!!

Say what you like. It makes precisely zero difference to me.

poet123 · 13 December 2013 at 5:02PM

notanewuser wrote: »

Say what you like. It makes precisely zero difference to me.

Thanks for the permission!

You make statements and then when people comment you take umbrage.

Child led parenting is not a new concept. Most of us have done in babyhood, no set times for feeds, bringing a child into bed if they will not sleep etc. However, once their personalities start to develop, as a responsible parent you have to set boundaries and rules. You cannot have a six year old dictating or leading the parents. Well, you can but it will end in tears, usually about the time puberty hits.

Kayalana99 · 13 December 2013 at 5:06PM

notanewuser wrote: »

Say what you like. It makes precisely zero difference to me.

poet123 wrote: »

Thanks for the permission!

You make statements and then when people comment you take umbrage.

Child led parenting is not a new concept. Most of us have done in babyhood, no set times for feeds, bringing a child into bed if they will not sleep etc. However, once their personalities start to develop as a parent you have to set boundaries and rules. You cannot have a six year old dictating or leading the parents. Well, you can but it will end in tears, usually about the time puberty hits.

Exactly!! She comes out with these absurb posts about 'what she does' and then as soon as you say something that proves shes wrong does she reply? No. She either puts her hands up and says I dont care or she ignores you and starts going on about something else you said eariler (that shes probably already said before)

Its nothing new!!

iammumtoone · 13 December 2013 at 5:08PM

notanewuser wrote: »

Neither DH nor I want to set DD up for the disappointment we felt as children when we found out Santa doesn't exist. Not beginning the belief for her is part of that.

When you say it like that, I understand your reasons and totally respect them, it is your choice how you bring up your child. However when you used the reason that you are not doing it as you are lying, referring that it is a terrible crime to lie to your child about Santa, that is what I took issue with.

I do think you are going to have to decide what you are going to do now she is getting older and will be exposed more to Santa through school etc. You need to either tell her its not true or follow it, there are no half measures, if you allow her to believe as it is her choice you have to play a part in making it happen. What if she wants to put out a mince pie as thats what her friends do, are you going it eat (adding to the lie) or are you going to leave it, as the disappointment of a say 4 year old finding Santa has not eaten their mince pie will be far greater than the finding out Santa doesn't exist as they naturally and gradually do as they get older.

My ds never watched tv until he was nearly 2, I then started off with him watching channels with no adverts. Now he looks at everything (age appropriate) I controlled it before, it was easy at that age, once he got to school he started to ask to watch things his friends were seeing on the other channels. I will not lie I controlled it for my benefit the only reason I did not want him watch adverts was so I could get away with the "I want that!" discussion as long as I could

)

OrkneyStar · 13 December 2013 at 5:19PM

poet123 wrote: »

Santa is everywhere though at Christmas, so unless you actively tell a child it is not true they will, by osmosis, believe it. I can't see how you can avoid it.

This is one of the times I am glad we live on a remote island, so we actually are not bombarded with it.

Kayalana99 · 13 December 2013 at 5:42PM

OrkneyStar wrote: »

This is one of the times I am glad we live on a remote island, so we actually are not bombarded with it.

I found that quite funny considering your sig

seven-day-weekend · 13 December 2013 at 5:45PM

My son was not allowed to watch some of the programmes his friends watched as we did not consider them suitable. That's responsible parenting, you don't let them chose, you chose.