Need help thinking up an excuse for Santa

Nicki

gingin wrote: »

For what it's worth, despite agreeing with Nicki's earlier sentiments, I thought that was a particularly mean and unnecessary thing for her to say.

It wasn't intended to be, so I apologise if it came across that way. It was a response to the fact that Not a New User posted earlier that her family don't actually celebrate at all on Christmas Day

notanewuser wrote: »

We rarely do Xmas on 25th Dec either (for various reasons). We just keep it low key, low hassle, low stress.

As I said, we enjoy the fun and drama of the whole day, having the family round, the wrapping paper, presents, nice meal, and the pretence of Santa for the younger children. I genuinely would be actively unhappy if it was just a normal day with no glamour for my children, knowing that most households in the country were doing it differently. The comment was intended to be a jokey way to getting that across, not intended to suggest that actually spending it with NANU would cause depression, if that was how it was read, but spending it in the way she described.

As for misquoting NANU, I'm fairly sure where I have quoted her, I have used MSE's quote function, so I assume that the quotes are all 100% accurate. They may have had paras cut out if not relevant but no meaning altered. She may mean that I "mischaracterised" her, in respect of the comment that randoms said our children would think we lied and wouldn't trust them, and in relation to the element of superior parenting. To that, I would say both that I was referring to both NANU and Judi in that post and also that I found these comments of NANU to back that characterisation up

notanewuser wrote: »

Actually the problem is lying to your child!!!

notanewuser wrote: »

Ah, my answer wouldn't be no. Mine would be "some people believe he's real, and that's fine. What do you believe/think?" Just as it would be if I was asked a question regarding any religion.

Admittedly it means a conversation rather than just agreeing for an easy life, but who said parenting was always easy?

Finally, in relation to the "!!!!!!" comment, all I can say is that she wasn't kidding when she said that her childhood experiences scarred her :rotfl:

notanewuser

Nicki wrote: »

It was intended to be, so I apologise if it came across that way. It was a response to the fact that Not a New User posted earlier that her family don't actually celebrate at all on Christmas Day

I spent many years working Christmas day in hotels. My family would wait until I could be with them to celebrate.

My sister works in the emergency services and is lucky if she gets one xmas off in 10. Being a nice family we wait until she's able to be with us rather than celebrate without her. It also means that DH's family, who are 250 miles away, don't feel left out because we have a separate celebration with them either before or after xmas.

December 25th was stolen from the pagans anyway, and as we don't follow christianity what we are celebrating can be celebrated at anytime. We once had xmas dinner in July. :rotfl:

It works for us, and as such, is none of your self-righteous business.

Nicki wrote: »

As I said, we enjoy the fun and drama of the whole day, having the family round, the wrapping paper presents, nice meal, and the pretence of Santa for the younger children. I genuinely would be actively unhappy if it was just a normal day with no glamour for my children, knowing that most households in the country were doing it differently. The comment was intended to be a jokey way to getting that across, not intended to suggest that actually spending it with NANU would cause depression, if that was how it was read, but spending it in the way she described.

We've had, as an extended family, almost 37 "alternative" xmases. As a child we would be dragged around the country to visit relatives that didn't bother with us the rest of the year "because it's xmas". As a child with severe travel sickness that was not joyous for me.

From 15 till about 30 I worked on xmas eve, xmas day and boxing day, as well as new years eve. That's the nature of the hospitality business. I was part of what made xmas special for thousands of people in that time. How selfish of me. And fancy waiting for my sister to be able to join us before indulging. What a b1.tch.

We unwrap a few presents on OUR xmas day. I go all out catering wise and produce a feast that lasts days, not hours. We play games, watch films together and dance about like silly idiots. It's lots and lots of fun, with plenty of glamour, but no imaginary fat man in a red suit. Not really that different.

Nicki wrote: »

As for misquoting NANU, I'm fairly sure where I have quoted her, I have used MSE's quote function, so I assume that the quotes are all 100% accurate. They may have had paras cut out if not relevant but no meaning altered. She may mean that I "mischaracterised" her, in respect of the comment that randoms said our children would think we lied and wouldn't trust them, and in relation to the element of superior parenting. To that, I would say both that I was referring to both NANU and Judi in that post and also that I found these comments of NANU to back that characterisation up.

Fair enough, I should have said mis-interpreted. Your assumption that we don't eat on OUR xmas day, for example, came from absolutely nowhere.

Nicki wrote: »

Finally, in relation to the "!!!!!!" comment, all I can say is that she wasn't kidding when she said that her childhood experiences scarred her :rotfl:

Yes, I'm too truthful for my own good.

Toto

Nicki wrote: »

As I said, we enjoy the fun and drama of the whole day, having the family round, the wrapping paper presents, nice meal, and the pretence of Santa for the younger children. I genuinely would be actively unhappy if it was just a normal day with no glamour for my children, knowing that most households in the country were doing it differently.

I completely agree with this. What's wrong with having one day a year when we celebrate. It actually doesn't matter what is celebrated, for some it is the birth of Christ, for others it is simply celebrating family, for my kids it's a fat guy in a red suit. Christmas day is one day a year when for lots of people work is closed, shops are closed, schools are closed and we are encouraged to spend time with those we care about.


I don't think we need to spend a fortune doing it but is there anything wrong with just finding the joy in life, chucking a bit of tinsel on it and having fun.

Nicki

I think you need to take a chill pill NANU. You are welcome to celebrate Christmas how you want and how works for your family. Knock yourself out. I'm not judging you for that. But its not how I want to do it for my family and not what I personally would enjoy and you ARE judging me for that, because you are saying that the way that I celebrate Christmas is a lie.

Nowhere, have I said that you don't eat on Christmas day, so you are revving yourself up unnecessarily about absolutely nothing. The fact that you are shouting and swearing at a stranger about this is perplexing

notanewuser

Nicki wrote: »

I think you need to take a chill pill NANU. You are welcome to celebrate Christmas how you want and how works for your family. Knock yourself out. I'm not judging you for that. But its not how I want to do it for my family and not what I personally would enjoy and you ARE judging me for that, because you are saying that the way that I celebrate Christmas is a lie.

I'm saying that part of it involves a lie. It does. You can't deny that. The fat bloke in the red suit doesn't exist. Fact. You encourage your children to believe he does. Ergo you are lying to them.

I'm not bothered one bit - lie to them all you like. But for some parents and some children that lie will affect the children when they find out.

Nicki wrote: »

Nowhere, have I said that you don't eat on Christmas day, so you are revving yourself up unnecessarily about absolutely nothing.

Nicki wrote: »

It wasn't intended to be, so I apologise if it came across that way. It was a response to the fact that Not a New User posted earlier that her family don't actually celebrate at all on Christmas Day

As I said, we enjoy the fun and drama of the whole day, having the family round, the wrapping paper, presents, nice meal, and the pretence of Santa for the younger children. I genuinely would be actively unhappy if it was just a normal day with no glamour for my children, knowing that most households in the country were doing it differently.

Nicki wrote: »

The fact that you are shouting and swearing at a stranger about this is perplexing

I've used one mild swear word, but I've not shouted. I think you perhaps need to read what's there, not what isn't.

At the end of the day, some of us don't feel the need to conform. I'm quite happy to find my own way rather than follow the herd.

poet123

It is not a lie, it is creating a fantasy, adding a magical mysterious element to the day. We have done the footprints, mince pies and carrots, and the excitement and joy they brought were great to see.

Children grow up far too soon, a bit of fantasy does them no harm whatsoever.

Nicki

I eat every day of the year. I only have a "nice meal" 2 or 3 times a week. There is a difference in my mind at least. Cottage pie and orange squash with no dessert is a common meal with us and eating. A three course roast dinner with lots of sides and some good wine is a nice meal and we don't have that every night otherwise I'd be the size of a house.

notanewuser

poet123 wrote: »

Children grow up far too soon, a bit of fantasy does them no harm whatsoever.

At last, something we can agree on. DD can have whatever fantasy she likes (including Santa, should she wish). I'm just not choosing them for her.

poet123

notanewuser wrote: »

At last, something we can agree on. DD can have whatever fantasy she likes (including Santa, should she wish). I'm just not choosing them for her.

So, if after seeing Santa at Nursery she comes home saying all her little friends are excited about Santa coming and wondering if he will visit her what would you say to her?

seven-day-weekend

poet123 wrote: »

So, if after seeing Santa at Nursery she comes home saying all her little friends are excited about Santa coming and wondering if he will visit her what would you say to her?

I would tell her we will have to wait and see.