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My Dignity Diary

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Comments

  • Mashmallow
    Mashmallow Posts: 62 Forumite
    edited 1 January 2014 at 4:02PM
    ..........
  • System
    System Posts: 178,412 Community Admin
    10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    you met your current partner on the rebound. Invested too much too soon into your relationship. A lot of people are guilty of that.


    How come you think your two exes having affairs whilst you were with them is your fault?


    It happened because its what they wanted.
    This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
  • Mashmallow
    Mashmallow Posts: 62 Forumite
    edited 1 January 2014 at 4:02PM
    ..........
  • System
    System Posts: 178,412 Community Admin
    10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    My husbands affair was because I wasn't a good wife...I was controlling and never let him have any space


    That's what he told you. Affairs happen for all sorts of reasons but blaming you for not being a good wife is a cop out.
    This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
  • Mashmallow
    Mashmallow Posts: 62 Forumite
    edited 1 January 2014 at 4:02PM
    ..........
  • System
    System Posts: 178,412 Community Admin
    10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Does anyone know, once a final minute of agreement is in place regarding a separation, is that just the same as divorce? Why would there be no mention of divorce in the letter, just separation, or is it just the legal wording?
    Oh I don't know about that. Its been a long long time since I went through the divorce process.... Even my time working in an lawyers office cant help me here. I used to type up the legal documents ready to submit to court but that was many moons ago.

    I really want to contact him and ask him to reconsider.....I am so sad and weak :-(
    Your not sad, you may feel weak but maybe this quote you posted will help you feel strong again.

    I did however look up his facebook and he's having a ball. This woman who he's been in contact with is insinuating things about him 'making the right decision'....and how he's got his sanity back....he's replying with laugh out loud and other !!!!.
    The man is below contempt and you deserve better.
    This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
  • System
    System Posts: 178,412 Community Admin
    10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Just popped back to share this with you. I found it on my Facebook and I'd have loved to have shared it but I think my husband would have freaked out.:D


    th_1486882_10151829915865028_1527408986_n_zpscf59cf64.jpg


    Click on the image to make it full sized.
    This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
  • tea_lover
    tea_lover Posts: 8,261 Forumite
    Morning MM, hope you had a good night's sleep and that today is a good one for you.

    No one 'makes' someone cheat sweetheart. If someone is unhappy in a marriage/relationship they have plenty of options: talk to the other person, suggest counselling, leave, etc. So many things you can do that don't involve betraying the person you are supposed to be committed to.

    The only thing worse than the betrayal of an affair is being told it was your fault in the first place (been there!) So you've trusted some people who didn't deserve it... that reflects badly on them, not you.
  • Vicky123
    Vicky123 Posts: 3,404 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    There is a school of thought that say's people never do anything out of character, what they do tells you their character, on that basis nothing you could have done would change him one iota.
    You are so much better out of it, he's someone else's problem now.
  • If your spouse is a "bad" spouse you end the Marriage. You have an affair because you want to. It is no-ones choice but your own and no one can make you. If your ex blames you for his affair then he is betraying you twice. By accepting the blame you are enabling him to put you down.

    Hold your head up high. You were true to your vows. You tried your best. He is the failure.
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