Nice People Thread Number 10 -the official residence of Nice People

SingleSue

Another day, another appointment...today was to see if it was suitable for me to be named as youngest's appointee for his DLA/PIP (when it comes in).

Reading the experience of other people, I was expecting a 2 hour slog with multiple questions and almost an interrogation. The reality was that he asked one question of youngest "Do you want mum to continue taking care of your DLA?" and that was it. It was all over in 10 minutes and 5 minutes of that was me reading the form before signing it and showing ID!

I think it was because I applied to be his appointee, not because he is not financially savvy (he is extremely financially aware but, if given the choice, would not spend his DLA on his needs, he says he would invest in stocks and shares!) but because he is unable to represent himself regarding his disabilities AKA, he doesn't like people or talking to them and especially about what is wrong with him.

vivatifosi

Sue, so glad to hear that finally something has gone your way!

I've been thinking about the school and it is time to shop them and let them squirm. You've done what you can and tried to be reasonable. It may be time to pull back and let the LEA or whoever is the next step up and will behave with a high degree of annoyance, take over. You can't put up with all this cr&p, it's not fair. Even if you do have a working wheelchair now!

Doozergirl

Generali wrote: »

That's nice. Every time you think of someone having a bit of head chopped off you think of me.

To be fair, I have nothing else to think about other than missing pieces of head.. I probably only think of you in relation to that once a day.

lemonjelly

I guess I now know where the name doozergirl comes from!
It deserves its own post for me to say what a phenomenal lady DG is. & Mr Doozer sounds such a gent too. I look forward to meeting him.

Doozer, you're one of the best ever! Big thanks.

Doozergirl

GDB2222 wrote: »

Thanks. Very insightful, as always. Sometimes, it feels like she is deliberately fighting us just to seek attention in a very negative way. That's because she is quite lucid at times. I agree that it's more likely that she has just given up making any effort at all to stay alive.

The kids are up in arms, because they take the not unreasonable view that if she had a couple of proper meals inside her she would have the strength to carry on and enjoy life for another five years.

MIL has her own home and has expressed the wish to go there. We have engaged a full-time carer, although she will need help as she can't work 24/7. However, that would make it feasible to cope with MIL at her own home. The only question is whether it is better to have her fade away there or here. At the moment, I am just shying away from having her die here, but that's probably completely illogical - just me being squeamish.

If she is near the end, then personally, I would want her to be where she wants to be, if I could facilitate it. If her home is difficult and your house is the compromise between home and hospital, then I think logic should take a hold. Dying is a part of life, nothing will change that and there probably isn't a great deal to be squeamish about, logically

I can associate closely with what lydia says but if not eating is an effort to defy the people around her, then even that is a part of her illness, not her.

My daughter was born in the lounge at home. It is different, but the same in that birth and death are profound things but hopefully things to be managed. We see them as quite medical because medication helps and as families we are vulnerable. It was incredibly special. Childbirth is not a peaceful thing, but in my mind it was perfect. I know where I would choose to die if I were privileged to be given that choice by my family.

I do empathise. This too will pass. Endure it as best you can, knowing that.

lostinrates

Doozergirl wrote: »

If she is near the end, then personally, I would want her to be where she wants to be, if I could facilitate it. If her home is difficult and your house is the compromise between home and hospital, then I think logic should take a hold. Dying is a part of life, nothing will change that and there probably isn't a great deal to be squeamish about.

I can associate closely with what lydia says but if not eating is an effort to defy the people around her, then even that is a part of her illness, not her.

My daughter was born in the lounge at home. It was incredibly special. Childbirth is not a peaceful thing, but in my mind it was perfect. I know where I would choose to die if I were privileged to be given that choice by my family.

I do empathise. This too will pass. Endure it as best you can, knowing that.

I'd be quite happy to give birth in hospital dosed up on stuff. The idea of doing all that then cleaning up some time later doesn't appeal.


There have been a clue of occasions I thought I'd die at home and I'd been ' ok' about it, a bit panicky, but ok. In reality with time to prep I am fairly sure I prefer the idea of some where serious meds and sympathy to help things along with less discomfort might be available .

Doozergirl

lemonjelly wrote: »

I guess I now know where the name doozergirl comes from!
It deserves its own post for me to say what a phenomenal lady DG is. & Mr Doozer sounds such a gent too. I look forward to meeting him.

Doozer, you're one of the best ever! Big thanks.

Even though I replaced your perfectly nice name with a rubbish one? :eek:

Edit: Oops, I should say thank you. Thank you! That is very kind thing of you to say

Doozergirl

lostinrates wrote: »

I'd be quite happy to give birth in hospital dosed up on stuff. The idea of doing all that then cleaning up some time later doesn't appeal.


There have been a clue of occasions I thought I'd die at home and I'd been ' ok' about it, a bit panicky, but ok. In reality with time to prep I am fairly sure I prefer the idea of some where serious meds and sympathy to help things along with less discomfort might be available .

Midwives are magical. It's all organised - within seconds, all evidence has disappeared, the house is back to normal, they've made tea and you're all watching soaps on the TV with warm cuddles.

I'm almost certain the same exists with palliative care. If it's expected, it can be correctly managed with timed meds etc at home.

lostinrates

Doozergirl wrote: »

Midwives are magical. It's all organised - within seconds, all evidence has disappeared, the house is back to normal, they've made tea and you're all watching soaps on the TV with warm cuddles.

I'm almost certain the same exists with palliative care. If it's expected, it can be correctly managed with timed meds etc at home.

That does sound good.


Not as good as elective ceaserian though.


I wasn't saying anything at the time, but that storm last week? When DH was travelling, I had some pretty dodgy nerve stuff going on round by back and lungs and I though I was going to kick the bucket then for a while because I copuldn't breath properly and it was getting a bit stressful and everything was getting a bit strained. It was an unusal place for me to get pain, lungy.....almost...hearty. So I was thinking, right....that's it, . I am sort of calmly fatalistic at times like that, :rotfl:

I'm glad I had the weather to distract me tbh, I was thinking, yes, its a good night :rotfl: Out with a bang :rotfl::rotfl:


I just kept posting and trying t relax in case it was my heart.

chewmylegoff

michaels wrote: »

Is there a reason for needing more than 1 offset account - separate finances? With an offset and thus no interest earned there are no tax advantages of having separated funds. I know some banks will even let you offset friends/relatives savings.

Best rates are with LTVs below 60/65/70% depending on lender. Brokers be careful, even those claiming to be whole of market are unlikely to push lenders who don't pay intermediaries like HSBC.

There is no harm in switching lenders every two years to take advantage of introductory rates and never suffering the uncompetitive 'go to' rates but only if you are sure you will not suffer from a worse risk rating at the planned switch date (for example due to lower income. single income, worse ltv as a result of falling house prices etc). i once went on an intro deal that ran for only 6 months as the low rates, free legals and valuation made it very lucrative to do so.....

Yes - separate finances requirement - I am providing 100% of the deposit and 100% of the extra that will be offset. My interest in the deposit will be 'protected' insofar as that is possible with a legal agreement so it would be stupid to then bung all the offset money into a joint account. Plus I have quite a bit in a cash ISA that I would rather leave inside that wrapper for long term reasons although it appears only woolwich let you offset a cash ISA and their rates are poor.

The broker was pretty open about who he does and doesn't cover so he said that he didn't cover hsbc and first direct for instance so he seems to be reasonably trustworthy.

I think though that it is looking like first direct will be the best option so I may have to pull the plug on the broker. The only thing that worries me about FD is that they have a reputation for being fussy and slow. HSBC said they couldn't get me an appointment for 6 weeks although you can just subvert that and apply online.