Advice urgently needed - what would you do?

animalhouse

I've posted before about DS being bullied at school, but things seemed to have quietened down.

However, it turns out that over the last two months things have taken off again, culminating with DS sitting on the stairs tonight in floods of tears, sobbing and it all came out - he is being excluded from his circle of friends in the playground and during classes, is being beaten up regularly at school - and his friends join in (!) and to top it off, one of his teachers joined in with the bullying during a drama class.

I thought something was going on because he suddenly stopped walking to school with his usual group and has been very moody.

He is so hurt because the main bully joined his circle of friends and now they have all turned against him - even as far as not letting him play with them online (PS3).

I've spoken to the school time and time again but his head of year is convinced that the bullying is just 'banter'. Even when DS ended up having to have a scan for neck injury when he was beaten up in the playground, she insisted it was banter.

I really feel it is time to move schools but DH is unsure, thinking that the bullying might just follow him.

DS is so, so unhappy and I feel helpless - he's at football practice and I'm here in tears... any advice would be so much appreciated.

j.e.j.

How awful for him. And for you seeing him like this.
It's a bit off-the-wall, perhaps, but would you think about home educating? Or sending him to a better school. Are there any smaller, maybe independent schools in your area?

claire16c

What school year is he in?

I'd probably consider moving schools.

meritaten

hun - isn't it time you stopped sending him there? he isn't safe! the schoold deny there is a problem.
Don't send him back - keep him home - inform the head and Education Dept that you are withdrawing him from school effective immediately for his own safety and well being.
make an emergency appointment at the GP (why? because this child may need specialist help - he sounds traumatised by what has occurred today).
Then phone around local schools to see if any have places for him - if you can arrange for him and yourself to tour the school I am sure it would be no problem to transfer him.
otherwise there is Home education. The poster on here to talk to about that is reeree. she went through exactly the same as you only it was with her grandson. she wont mind you PMing her - she is happy to help bullied kids.

animalhouse

He's in year 8.

Some of the so-called friends are also in his football team, but are fine there. The problem is that the team are spread around the local schools and DH is concerned that no matter where DS goes this will follow him.

I'd love to home school but I'm worried about him becoming isolated.

thank you for replying, I do appreciate it.

animalhouse

I don't seem to have a thanks button by your posts, but I am thanking you all from the bottom of my heart.

claire16c

That's good - he's not doing gcses etc yet so if you're going to move him it's an ok time in terms of that.

I'd rather move & risk it following him.

Goldiegirl

I'm not a mum, but my friend's son has similar problems at school, so she managed to get him transferred to another school.


The problems didn't follow him to his new school, and the rest of his school life was very happy.


Best wishes to you and your son, hope you get something sorted out

paulineb_2

Id remove him from the school, as soon as possible.

JoW123

I would move him to a different school. The school don't seem to be taking the issues seriously enough which would worry me. Maybe a fresh start would boost his confidence too.

Phil_L_2

If the teacher is joining in this is Gross Professional Misconduct.

A child being beaten up is assault. The injuries sustained may lead to this being upgraded to aggravated assault or possibly further. At this point you should be contacting the police and requiring them to deal with the matter.

All further discussions with the school should be in writing.