Please help settle a difference of opinion

BitterAndTwisted

You're suggestions might have been appropriate if we were discussing a five year old child or someone with learning difficulties (maybe, but I'm not even convinced by that) but we're talking about a grown adult with MH issues here.

Getting the police round to threaten him with stuff that's not their concern? Please!

dandy-candy

In your shoes I would pay it. If its not paid and things get heavy, he could become really distressed and I'm sure that in turn would be upsetting for you too.

Prothet_of_Doom

Steal his telly, tell him to use catch up TV on a computer.

itsanne

Well, this thread has raised some interesting discussion in our house .

Sorry to all you kind people taking the time to consider our dilemma, but I'm not convinced that either of us has changed viewpoint much :cool:. Part of the reason for that is probably because there is so much information that isn't appropriate to share and we've each blamed that for the opinions which don't coincide with our own. There's a surprise!

BitterAndTwisted

Your family's situation must be completely unique if you can't disclose a few salient details on an anonymous forum. You've piqued my curiosity (nosiness) now.

What I would like to know is which side of the fence are you sitting on?

runforlife

In respect of using your sons bank account with his knowledge you are on a tricky wicket there. Clearly at the moment everything is ok however if your relationship were to deteriorate in the future you could open yourself to allegations of theft! Seriously! I have seen it.

I suggest you discuss with him how you can manage his finances for him in the future. Also I believe if the bank were aware that a third party were accessing his bank details then if hewer to lose money by fraud then it is unlikely he would be able to recover it.

With regards to the tv then that is a decision for yourselves. If it makes you happy then pay for it. If it doesn't sit well with you then don't and explain the consequences of non payment to your son. He then becomes active in the decision making process.

Of course non payment could lead to a fine, debt recovery, county court judgments even prison in the worse case scenario.

con1888

itsanne wrote: »

For those asking why he won't pay, please bear in mind that son's way of thinking is somewhat different to the rest of us at the best of times. There is no proper reason why he does not want to pay for a licence. He comes out with "I'd rather give the money to xyz charity," or just says he's not doing it. He doesn't believe there could be any real consequence - he knows about the fine but just says he wouldn't pay that either :mad:. He "plans" to move abroad before it would come to that. Sigh . . .

Up until recently he could have watched tv on his laptop as we arranged internet access for him. He would not have been able to take on a contract himself. We had to cancel it and do not intend to redo it. (This is where it's so frustrating to be able to give only a very limited picture of the situation!) So the watching only "not live" tv is not an option.

Does he have the capacity to understand that watching TV without a license is illegal and that you could report him for this ??

Not suggesting you do report him but just thinking perhaps letting him know there's a reason we must pay it.

Wellyboots6

Could you delay paying it until he starts getting the 'red' letters through and then see if he reconsiders his views?

The letters can seem pretty scary sometimes and it may make him see that they are serious about getting the money? You can always then pay the licence fee for him if you see it is getting too much for him to cope with.

RobotsinDisguse

Very tricky.
It's a shame you had to cancel his Internet and won't set it up again, as online catchup services would be ideal. But perhaps he can't be trusted online? So im wondering if there is there a TiVo type box that would allow use of catchup services but not live broadcast? Or BT web TV but without the computer/web surfing side of it?

BitterAndTwisted

runforlife wrote: »

In respect of using your sons bank account with his knowledge you are on a tricky wicket there. Clearly at the moment everything is ok however if your relationship were to deteriorate in the future you could open yourself to allegations of theft! Seriously! I have seen it.

I suggest you discuss with him how you can manage his finances for him in the future. Also I believe if the bank were aware that a third party were accessing his bank details then if hewer to lose money by fraud then it is unlikely he would be able to recover it.

Oh, for goodness sake. The OP has not at any point intimated that they were considering using the son's bank account to pay for the license. That stupid suggestion has been thrown in by other posters.

The OP has said that she and her husband have funds set aside for him, in case something is needed so I'm sure if they do agree to pay the license fee on his behalf they will be able to afford twelve quid a month out of their own funds.