How sociable are you?

bladerunner73

It's really refreshing not to feel like a total odd bod, I have to interact with lots of people at work and once I'm out of that arena I really am not fussed if I leave the house, there's only myself and DH we do have a small circle of close like minded home body friends who we see regularly, but in terms of going out and meeting big groups of people or being in places where there are lots of folk that's a no no.
There was talk of Bath Christmas market but we all decided there was no appeal with that many people around, oh well that saved some money.

bluebag

It was always a worry for me if one of us dies and leaves the other, or gets really sick and needs care as we are like two peas in a pod.

One of my friends decided to move into sheltered accommodation as a couple, a good while before either of them became really old.

This meant they were settled when one of them passed and they already had support and supervision. It worked really well for her, she was already part of a small community when he husband passed away and had the support of wardens that she already knew.

DH and I plan to do the same at age 70 of if one of us becomes ill, whichever occurs first.

We are looking for a place that has independent flats,so we can still be as self reliant as possible, but with a nursing home attached so that if one of us is in need of nursing care the other isn't too far away to visit.

davenport151

Agreenmess- that was lovely to read. I know what you mean about attitudes. It is great to come one here and go on about making stuff and know people will ask you advice and suggestions and praise for what you do. I bet your lovely gloves will be around long after the shop ones have fell apart and will be a lot cosier to!

Bluebag - I work in a care home and we have on several occasions had couples come in when they haven't wanted to be parted -one has needed care before the other. We had a couple just recently where the husband died, his wife followed barely two months later. I believe there had been some family opposition to their relationship so there hadn't been many family visits either.

Incidently forgot to add on post earlier -I am content with my partner but my 'me' time is important to me.

Goldiegirl

We had friends visit for lunch yesterday.


My husband has known the guy for more than 40 years, his wife for about 40 years and I met them shortly after I met my husband, 34 years ago.


I enjoyed catching up with their news, but after they left, my husband and I both sort of slumped in a chair, and agreed that it was nice to see them...... but it was also nice to go back to just the two of us.


Although I like cooking, I find it quite nerve-wracking to cook for other people, and also a lot of chat can be quite tiring too.

Justamum

Goldiegirl wrote: »

Although I like cooking, I find it quite nerve-wracking to cook for other people, and also a lot of chat can be quite tiring too.

I don't like cooking for other people, so don't invite people round to eat I also find a lot of chat tiring - I end up with a headache.

You and your OH sound like my OH and I - we like to shut our door on the world. Our children are the same, so we don't end up with a whole hoard of children/teenagers around.

flubberyzing

As a singleton, there is nothing better than coming home at the end of a long day at work and shutting the world out until morning. I always lock myself in with a sense of "...and... breathe!" Particularly at this time of year, when it's so dark and miserable out. In summer I'll quite often go for a little walk around the block or something after work, but in winter I just hibernate. Even making a little detour to the postbox on the way home feels like too much effort.


My job is very people-orientated and very go go go. So by the time I get home, I'm completely ready to shut that all out and re-group!

sKiTz-0

flubberyzing wrote: »

As a singleton, there is nothing better than coming home at the end of a long day at work and shutting the world out until morning. I always lock myself in with a sense of "...and... breathe!" Particularly at this time of year, when it's so dark and miserable out. In summer I'll quite often go for a little walk around the block or something after work, but in winter I just hibernate. Even making a little detour to the postbox on the way home feels like too much effort.


My job is very people-orientated and very go go go. So by the time I get home, I'm completely ready to shut that all out and re-group!

This is me to a T. Never been happier and more content than I have been since my housemate moved out just over a year ago and I got to experience living in my new house alone. It's the first time I've lived without parents or a housemate and the peace and quiet is bliss. I usually go from when I finish the working day until the next day without saying a word to anybody and I never get bored. Some weekends I'll get to Sunday night and realise I haven't spoken to anybody since Friday. My old housemate is very social and we would always be having somebody round so it's nice to just be able to chill out enjoy my own space.

I still keep in touch with old friends every couple of months, and have a close mate I see one night most weekends, but I find socialising hard work as soon as more than 1 other person is thrown into the mix and I end up getting agitated and fighting the urge to call 'kicking out time'.

I'm 30 and have only been like this for the past 4-5 years. In my early days I liked nothing better to be out partying and socialising all the time. I suppose it's dropped right as at the same time my social tastes/desires changed all my friends had started settling down and are now starting families so I get much less invites to events/gatherings these days.

As somebody mentioned above - most of the time when I get an invite to something my first thought is 'how can I get out of it?

Horace

I must admit that I am not overly sociable and much prefer my own company. Sure there are times when I feel lonely and the time when I felt most alone was at a music concert in London and I wished I had had someone to share the experience with.

I can be sociable at college and am Chair of a committee which means that every so often I have people round for meetings and we eat cake that I have made. I also go around to check on my neighbours each week to make sure they are ok and they do the same for me if they haven't seen me for a while. I also visit my parents on a weekly or fortnightly basis.

I am sure my parents despair of me because I am alone but I prefer it that way having got out of an emotionally abusive marriage and a physically abusive relationship with someone else - now I please myself and no-one else.

Sometimes I use the internet to chat to people and have even met some MSE peeps and I am happy with that.

People look at me strangely if I mention anything frugal such as baking and growing my own veg. This year I was given some beans and plums - some plums were exchanged for eggs from someone else and some given to my neighbours and I kept some which I made into crumbles and I taught myself to bottle some too - I plan to open these at Christmas and serve with a dollop of clotted cream.

Lilyplonk

Great thread and thanks to OP for starting it.

Good to read that I'm also not quite the 'odd-ball' that some people see me as .

Although I've got two younger sisters and a brother, I spent my first fourteen years living the life of 'an only child' with my grandparents - this DID isolate me to some extent although I visited with my family on a weekly basis and stayed over during the school holidays. However, it did mean that I became far more self-sufficient than my siblings - spending many hours in my own company, despite having quite a few friends in the neighbourhood where I grew up.

When I did finally go to live with 'my family' I found it crazy for a household to be so disorganised and I hated the fact that my belongings were 'no longer my own' .................. but that's what happens when you share a bedroom with 2 younger sisters!

In my late teens, I developed a very outgoing social life - probably a bit too much drinking IF I'm really being honest - and also worked part-time as a barmaid as well as working in an office environment. It gave me a certain amount of confidence with acquaintances, but not many 'real friends'.

I'm now divorced, three adult children (five lovely grandkids), long-term partner of 24yrs and we live a life that suits us down to the ground. I've been retired for about 18mths and have never been busier!

It's taken a long time for us to 'settle into' what works for US.

We have 'no friends in common' - he goes out, sees his acquaintances and does 'his thing'.

I have many acquaintances (none that I would call REAL friends), lots of hobbies/interests (reading, family history, volunteering, cooking/baking, quizzes/puzzles, gardening, knitting/crochet/sewing, listening to music, walking) and will chat to anybody I meet while I'm out and about.

We have a shared interest in lots of different music genres and occasionally go to concerts together. We both love our holidays in Scotland, walking and visiting places of interest - but mostly just 'soaking up the area and clean air'. I have some 'internet friends' where we visit and I socialise with them while we're there and invite them to visit me in the caravan where we stay.

I'm quite content with my own company for days on end, but feel the need to 'get out' before I go stir crazy ...................

I love my 'old-style ways', make-do and mend attitude, charity shop finds, bargain-hunt shopping and even managed to get my OH involved as well :T .

I'm involved with my children and grandkids lives - around for them whenever I'm needed, which is very frequent; school holidays and 'overnighters' a speciality!

However, my partner and I are not co-dependent and I'd hate it to be that way.

Goldiegirl

Justamum wrote: »

I don't like cooking for other people, so don't invite people round to eat I also find a lot of chat tiring - I end up with a headache.

You and your OH sound like my OH and I - we like to shut our door on the world. Our children are the same, so we don't end up with a whole hoard of children/teenagers around.

The friends I mentioned are the only ones these days who we invite for meals.

When we first got married, we had been invited to my husband's colleagues houses for meals, so we felt we had to reciprocate by inviting them to our house. To get it 'over with', we'd invite them all at once, so we'd have three or four couples round, and I'd be a wreck for weeks before, I got so nervous about it. It's quite a big thing to cook for so many when you aren't used to it.

Also, when we moved to our first house, and this house, we felt we had to invite the extended family round, so we had to lay on a buffet, that was pretty stressful too, not to mention having a house full of people.

These days we just don't do it anymore. I think when you get older you realise you don't have to do things you don't like.

I'm seeing my very good friend this evening when she finishes work ( two lots of socialising in three days, this is a lot for me). She has called at the house from time to time, mainly to drop off things that I eBay for her. But apart from that, we always meet up for coffee or tea at a cafe. It suits us both to do that. She loves coffee shops and I like seeing people away from the house.