How sociable are you?

Bogof_Babe

melanzana wrote: »

I live alone but have had a partner for years. He lives in the country, I in the city and we hook up once a week and at the weekend. But not ALL of the weekend either! We both like our space, and are quite alike in that respect. We prefer just each others company, but occasionally have dinner with friends, and reciprocate. Enjoy that.

We own a little flat which we bought when mum was alive as we needed a base to stay when seeing her as she gradually became very old and frail, but even though she passed away in 2011 I have no intention of selling the flat, and indeed I love being there on my own and go for a few nights most weeks. It's not my fault that OH wanted a cat, meaning he can't come with me very often, but in a way I'm [STRIKE]quite[/STRIKE] very glad to have the chance of plenty of time on my own. I think it actually saved our marriage during a rocky patch a couple of years ago as it became my sanctuary.

I too am not a shopper. I must be odd, but I absolutely dread weddings and the Christmas work do and so on. I find it so boring being with people i dont know too well, and the forced jollity of it all. Its quite hard work sitting beside someone you don't know and trying to keep an interesting conversation going for hours! Anyone else find this?

Can't agree about the shopping as I spend much of my time wandering around (mainly) charity shops, but YES YES YES about the social occasions - such an effort and for so little enjoyment.

I am good fun to be around though, (so Im told!) specially with my girlfriends and family. I just love being with my two young nephews. They are the light of my life, no kids myself. I have a very small circle of friends, but I so enjoy their company, and family is very important to me too.

I lost my youngest sister in the Summer, and that has had a devastating effect on me. She was a party girl and so witty, and so much fun, a total foil to me. Each to their own. I miss her terribly.

I'm so very sorry to hear this. I can't imagine life without my sister who is also my best friend. My sincere condolences on your loss.

I am planning to take early retirement next Summer touch wood, and all my colleagues are asking me what will I do with my time..... But I know I will never be bored, and am looking forward to spending more time with OH who also retired early, last year.

I think if you are happy in your own company you do not need to be surrounded by activity and people. You will know what you like yourself.

This is a great thread, and I am very relieved that I am not the only one who prefers a very quiet life!

Excellent post, thank you for sharing your thoughts.

flubberyzing

I'm single and live alone. Because I've been single for many years, I've very much got used to my own routine and living to my own rules. So much so, that I do find longer social interactions quite tiring and frustrating.
For instance, I recently stayed over at a friends house after an evening out and found it weird feeling like I had to stay in bed until I heard sounds of my friends moving around up stairs (I was downstairs on a sofa bed). It felt good to get home, where I get up when I want and go to bed when I want.


I do really love being sociable, and enjoy spending time with friends and family, but overnight stays, with anyone other than extremely close family, stress me out. Not significantly, but enough to make me think twice.

LameWolf

I would love to be able to socialise; unfortunately I have severe social phobia, and the idea of having to hold a conversation with anyone other than DH scares me to death.

We occasionally have DH's pal over; the chap lives alone since his divorce, and it gets him out of his house, and what happens is I do my best to cover my nervousness, but then lie awake the next two or three nights reliving the whole evening, analysing the conversation in minute detail to work out what I may have said/done that was stupid/offensive/otherwise unacceptable, and end up feeling really ill because of it.

I am hearing impaired, and often have to ask for things to be repeated several times (I have a good hearing aid, but still don't always pick up consonants correctly) and I fear this will cause people to lose patience with me. Also my nervousness is such that I don't take in what's being said to me half the time.

As for phones - I have three different ring tones on my mobile; one for DH, who calls me twice a day when he's at work to check I'm ok (I'm disabled, and he likes to ensure I haven't taken a fall or anything silly like that); the second is for the dog-sitting service we're a host family for - if that one sounds, it'll be to book a dog in with me. The third is "everyone else" and gets red-buttoned as I can't cope with talking to anyone else on the phone.

I don't do parties/events, and I don't entertain, other than having DH's pal over - and I usually try to make sure we have a canine guest when he comes, as he loves dogs, and that makes it easier for me.

Bottom line is, people scare me rigid, I'm much happier in the company of dogs. I cope with this forum reasonably well because there's a degree of anonymity - though, that said, I've been scared away temporarily on several occasions.

mudgekin

Pretty much a loner I guess. DH and I are pretty self sufficient and enjoy being together most if all. I am an only child with no family and although DH has siblings they never see each other and are spread over the country.

Due to health issues we will retire early next year and I suppose that will make us even more isolated but content.

Stupidly enough my biggest fear is that when we die no one will come to out funerals as we are the original Billy no mates. The other fear is that we won't be fount until we create a smell.:eek:

That sounds as though we are saddos but we are actually very content.

krustylouise

LameWolf wrote: »

I would love to be able to socialise; unfortunately I have severe social phobia, and the idea of having to hold a conversation with anyone other than DH scares me to death.

We occasionally have DH's pal over; the chap lives alone since his divorce, and it gets him out of his house, and what happens is I do my best to cover my nervousness, but then lie awake the next two or three nights reliving the whole evening, analysing the conversation in minute detail to work out what I may have said/done that was stupid/offensive/otherwise unacceptable, and end up feeling really ill because of it.

I am hearing impaired, and often have to ask for things to be repeated several times (I have a good hearing aid, but still don't always pick up consonants correctly) and I fear this will cause people to lose patience with me. Also my nervousness is such that I don't take in what's being said to me half the time.

As for phones - I have three different ring tones on my mobile; one for DH, who calls me twice a day when he's at work to check I'm ok (I'm disabled, and he likes to ensure I haven't taken a fall or anything silly like that); the second is for the dog-sitting service we're a host family for - if that one sounds, it'll be to book a dog in with me. The third is "everyone else" and gets red-buttoned as I can't cope with talking to anyone else on the phone.

I don't do parties/events, and I don't entertain, other than having DH's pal over - and I usually try to make sure we have a canine guest when he comes, as he loves dogs, and that makes it easier for me.

Bottom line is, people scare me rigid, I'm much happier in the company of dogs. I cope with this forum reasonably well because there's a degree of anonymity - though, that said, I've been scared away temporarily on several occasions.

I was very similar to this afte I gave birth to DD, 6 years ago. I suffered severe generalised anxiety, panic disorder, agoraphobia. I couldn't look forward to anything, I couldn't even leave the house to peg the washing up outside. At the time I didn't realise how depressed I was. DD turned 18months, I hadn't really taken her to any social places and I then started feeling incredibly guilty for failing her. I enrolled her in nursery for Wednesday afternoons and kept making up excuses not to take her. I split from her dad and had to start depending on myself. I got a part time job, so had to leave the house, every day. I'd sit at my desk during a panic attack hyperventilating. Some days I'd ring in sick because the thought of leaving sickened me. But now, DD is 6, she goes to school, I work full time, I go jogging, I take her places, I think nothing of leaving the house. I took her to butlins in Skegness, 6hours away all on my own in July. I was so proud of myself.

I don't often socialise outside of work, I have enough talking at work, now I make the most of quality time with DD and my boyfriend.

Bogof_Babe

mudgekin wrote: »

Pretty much a loner I guess. DH and I are pretty self sufficient and enjoy being together most if all. I am an only child with no family and although DH has siblings they never see each other and are spread over the country.

Due to health issues we will retire early next year and I suppose that will make us even more isolated but content.

Stupidly enough my biggest fear is that when we die no one will come to out funerals as we are the original Billy no mates. The other fear is that we won't be fount until we create a smell.:eek:

That sounds as though we are saddos but we are actually very content.

Have you both given any thought to how things will be when one of you is left on your own?

Goldiegirl

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Have you both given any thought to how things will be when one of you is left on your own?

A lot of what mudgekin said relates to Mr GG and I


We are both only children, with no children of our own and generally are content in each others company.


I do have a couple of good friends I see every couple of weeks and Mr GG has an old friend who we ether visit or they come here for lunch every 4 months or so. (they are visiting this Sunday, although I like cooking, cooking for guests does make me nervous) We also see Mr GG's cousins maybe once a year.


But that's about it - apart from that we are very content together.


But yes, I have given thought to how it will be when one of us is left on our own. As I'm 9 years younger, it is more likely it'll be me left, and it is a frightening thought.


I hope we have many years left together, but time passes quickly, and it'll happen one day.


Even though it's a scary thought, I still would rather live our life together in happiness, rather than try and collect friends as a future insurance against loneliness.

LameWolf

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Have you both given any thought to how things will be when one of you is left on your own?

Now THAT is definitely something that really, really worries me. DH is my Carer - I need assistance with things like bathing and dressing. I have no family - I'm estranged from the whole boiling of 'em. I am also childless (by choice, I have to add - I'd have been a lousy mother). DH is 10 years older than me, and is currently 5 years older than the age at which his Dad died. The idea of being at the tender mercies of Social Services is completely unacceptable.:eek::eek::eek::eek:
*Hides under table and chews a slipper*.

MummyBobble

I've always been happiest in my own company. An unhappy childhood where I could lose myself in solitary pursuits (reading, writing, jigsaws, cross stitch) I believe pretty much shaped my future.

Single mum of fab DD and DS I'm at my happiest now when I'm with them (even if they're both ignoring me!), and I have learned to value my two sisters and the few close friends I have. I've had a lot of difficulties to overcome this year and my friends at work have been amazing and supportive.

I always found it hard to ask for help or support, but this year has made me realise that I should appreciate those around me who care. So, while the upcoming Christmas parties are not for me and I will look forward to the time I can spend alone, I hope that I can find ways to show appreciation for those close to me and support those who need a friend. xx

Byatt

MummyBobble wrote: »

I've always been happiest in my own company. An unhappy childhood where I could lose myself in solitary pursuits (reading, writing, jigsaws, cross stitch) I believe pretty much shaped my future.

Single mum of fab DD and DS I'm at my happiest now when I'm with them (even if they're both ignoring me!), and I have learned to value my two sisters and the few close friends I have. I've had a lot of difficulties to overcome this year and my friends at work have been amazing and supportive.

I always found it hard to ask for help or support, but this year has made me realise that I should appreciate those around me who care. So, while the upcoming Christmas parties are not for me and I will look forward to the time I can spend alone, I hope that I can find ways to show appreciation for those close to me and support those who need a friend. xx

A lovely post,