pet euthanasia should a child be there?

purple.sarah

chiefpossession wrote: »

We had to have one of our cats put to sleep in the Summer. The vet had to inject into her heart and it was not a quick process - not simply drifting away. I found it very traumatic and not something I would have wanted anyone else to see if they didn't have to. My children have never had any problems coming to terms with the loss of a pet - they didn't have to be there to accept it.

I don't want to upset you but injecting into the heart is not standard procedure, it's supposed to be into a leg vein. I wouldn't use that vet again!

purple.sarah

My family dog was put to sleep when my younger brother and I were about the same age as your children. I was there and I think it helped me to understand and accept the process. My brother wasn't there because he didn't feel he could deal with it. I think your children are old enough for you to explain to them what will happen and see if they want to be there. It would be a big shock for them to find out afterwards. Our dog passed peacefully but we were warned not to touch him while he was receiving the injection, especially near the mouth, in case he jerked suddenly, so that might be something for you to be aware of. Sorry for your loss.

trollopscarletwoman

purple.sarah wrote: »

I don't want to upset you but injecting into the heart is not standard procedure, it's supposed to be into a leg vein. I wouldn't use that vet again!

Iv'e never heard of that either.

All dogs I've had to be euthanised were always injected in the leg. The vet shaves the fur.

Don't know about cats as I've never had one.

The hardest moment for me with dogs was when I had to put down my late mothers dog who I took on after her death.

That really stung.

emilykf

We had our cat PTS a couple of months ago, and it was very traumatic for both me and OH (in our 30s/40s). The veins in her leg were collapsing so they couldn't inject there, so they had to go straight into her kidney. She fought till the end, and it actually took three injections before she died. She didn't know anything after the first one, and we were there stroking her and talking to her, but it was still heartbreaking and very, very hard to witness. My suggestion, whatever you decide to tell them, is that they NOT be there.

So sorry for your family

Artytarty

Exactly what I was going to say, it's not standard procedure but it does not mean the vet was wrong either! veins collapse.

19lottie82

Jesus.......no way. It's would never even cross my mind to let a seven year old witness this. Never. Ever.

sarahkmv

Hi,
I'm not normally a poster, but a lurker, however..

Last year we had to have one of our very much loved pet chickens PTS as she was very ill. My daughter, then just 8 was adamant she wanted to be their for her chicken.

We had a long talk about how she may flap and it might upset her, but she insisted and I respected her decision. We ended up with her cuddled into me (face in my chest) and holding Rosebuds wing. She died very quickly (I realise birds are different) and then my DD could stroke her goodbye and see that she was very peaceful and there was no pain.

She was obviously upset but I think being there helped. We both cried buckets, and she is still missed.

Sadly another chicken had an awful leg injury (got caught in some fencing) and I took her straight to the vets as she basically had lost her leg, she had to be PTS and I had to explain to DD that we couldn't have waited for her to finish school as it was unfair.

Whilst she understood I felt she coped better with the death of the chicken that she was there for, rather than feeling she couldn't say goodbye.

Different scenario to yours, so I guess what I'm saying is it very much depends on the child and how they feel when you talk to them about it. I don't think age comes into it so much, just how they are inside.

Goldiegirl

The term 'put to sleep' sounds very calm and peaceful, but as other posters have said, it isn't always like that and could be very upsetting and traumatic.

I think it'd be kindest to tell the children honestly what is going to happen, and let them say goodbye, but not take them to see it done.

I think you can understand what death is without being shown what happens

pearl123

pukkamum wrote: »

We are having our very dear old car rosie put to sleep next week and I'm not sure how to deal with it re the eldest 2 children.
Should I tell them we are doing it or just let them come home and say she went in her sleep?
My thinking is they should have the chance to say goodbye but dh thinks otherwise.
Should I ask them if they want to be there if we tell them and if so should I let them?
My thoughts on this are that it would be good for them to see that not all death is traumatic and scary.
The kids are girl of 7 boy of 12.
Honest thoughts please I won't be offended.

I personally not tell them in advance, otherwise there will be a big emotional build up for them. I would just them last minute. I think it is kinder. I certainly would not let them witness it.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I'd let your older one be there. It's desperately sad when it happens, but the vast majority of cats just slip away gently when they're so ill.

My mum never did it - she left them still alive, scared and calling for her at the vet and went home, whether I was there with her or not. I know I could have understood and not been traumatised by it younger than 12, and hated it when I was younger and the pets just vanished - never mind when one was PTS when i was 18 &the dog died on my 21st birthday and she never told me until I asked where they were.

It's ok to cry. It shows their feelings are normal. Even if they don't cry, that's normal, too. (I remember at age 6 being told my nan was dead, but it never meant a thing to me - I hadn't seen her sick, didn't go to the funeral - she just disappeared. At least where an animal died at home, I saw and understood it. Something being PTS can be just vanishing by comparison).


There's a mog book that will be perfect for your daughter. It's beautifully written and illustrated.


I wouldn't keep them off school, but I'd be ready to go and get them if the school calls and says they aren't up to staying. I've never taken time off for animal deaths - it's hard enough to get time off for family in most places and it makes it seem a huge disaster rather than a natural part of being responsible for an animal's welfare.