pet euthanasia should a child be there?

meritaten

how are you all coping pukkamum? it is awful knowing its going to happen - it becomes the 'day to dread'!
I still think that the youngest shouldn't be - though she seems to have the most pragmatic approach, the reality of it may be too much for her. the 12 year old sounds sensitive but in a caring way, IYSWIM? he may benefit from being there and holding Rosie and 'helping' her.
you know them best pukkamum, and I am sure you will as a family come to the right decision.

meritaten

Judi wrote: »

At least your Mum and Dad rehomed your beloved dog. My Mother opened my gerbils cages and let them run off into the garden.... she didn't tell me this of course, I came back from school and the cage was wide open. She told me she didn't know what had happened to them.

Many years later she admitted she'd deliberately opened the cage because she was sick of them. I felt sick to the stomach when she told me.:mad:

my dad got me a lovely border collie for my birthday when I was twelve (old enough to care for a dog he thought), I loved that dog and spent hours grooming him and training him - but couldn't understand why he kept disappearing or 'running off' as my mum put it.

mum denies this - but my best friend lived next door and her mum told her that my mum (following this?) used to literally kick the dog out as soon as I left for school and wouldn't let it back in! even though it was only a puppy! He finally disappeared at just over a year old - I pray he found a new family! it still bothers me I don't know what happened to my dog!
btw - mum doesn't like animals - she hates cats and barely tolerates dogs - apart from my sisters dog - which funnily enough she refered to as her 'granddog'! and spoilt rotten!

System

but my best friend lived next door and her mum told her that my mum (following this?) used to literally kick the dog out as soon as I left for school and wouldn't let it back in! even though it was only a puppy! He finally disappeared at just over a year old - I pray he found a new family! it still bothers me I don't know what happened to my dog!

Awful, truly awful!

Person_one

squashy wrote: »

Not euthanasia, but I have still not forgiven my mum and dad for re-homing my beloved dog without telling me! I was 13. I understood why (new baby, grumpy dog), but I needed to say goodbye.

I don't blame you, the thought of coming home to find an adored pet suddenly vanished is just too awful to contemplate, at any age. I'm so sorry they did that to you.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

poet123 wrote: »

I posted before about my dad and his dog. To put it into context he had worked as ground crew in the war and had been involved when planes returned and all that was left to do was to hose out the rear gunnery. He wasn't a softie (except with his family) but I really think that having to have the dog pts was one of the hardest things he ever did. I think the stress of it it caused a bout of Shingles and that in turn lead to compromised immune system.

I know I'm leaving myself open for flaming, but it doesn't matter what he had to wash off a window. That wasn't his act, that wasn't the result of any choice or decision he had made and wasn't remotely connected to anybody who was totally dependent upon him for their very existence. It was dealing with the aftermath of horrible things happening to other unrelated and independent adults.


I believe that anyone who 'can't handle' being there for their pet in their final moments is shirking their responsibilities.

A human is entirely responsible for a pet's wellbeing, social development, ongoing health - and ultimately their death. It is an owner's final responsibility to their pet to ensure that their death is as gentle as it can be - and where that means being there, so their last thought was that their owner was with them, there's no excuse for wimping out and making the excuse that they can't cope with it.

[Deleted User]

I disagree totally with the above comment when we are dealing with a child's reaction to the death of a pet. I have been there when putting a cat to sleep and even as an adult I was quite shocked at the way he suddenly keeled over. I thought he'd be 'put to sleep' and just gently wander off.., not die so visibly.

I don't think its an appropriate place for a child, however caring and responsible. They are children, and even if one wanted to be there, they are children and can't make this decision because they don't understand the impact of the decision.

The death of my cat was far worse than I thought it would be, but I could deal with it. I wouldn't expect a child to deal with it. Far better to say goodbye in a comfortable place (home or the vet's reception) and then help with burying the pet later on if they wish to.

Alchemilla

When our dear old dog was put down i sent the kids to my mum but i had warned them the vet was coming and this would likely be the outcome. I was incoherent with sadness so it was the right choice. Oldest was 8.
At university my mum called to say she had our dog pts. I struggle now to get over that since she had promised she would let me say goodbye before she did it.

lostinrates

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

I know I'm leaving myself open for flaming, but it doesn't matter what he had to wash off a window. That wasn't his act, that wasn't the result of any choice or decision he had made and wasn't remotely connected to anybody who was totally dependent upon him for their very existence. It was dealing with the aftermath of horrible things happening to other unrelated and independent adults.


I believe that anyone who 'can't handle' being there for their pet in their final moments is shirking their responsibilities.

A human is entirely responsible for a pet's wellbeing, social development, ongoing health - and ultimately their death. It is an owner's final responsibility to their pet to ensure that their death is as gentle as it can be - and where that means being there, so their last thought was that their owner was with them, there's no excuse for wimping out and making the excuse that they can't cope with it.

Jojo, part of one of my small roles is to be there for some of my clients when they cannot 'handle it'.

I personally would always choose to be there, both for the animal and me, but I consider it FAR! FAR, better for the animal to have someone's calm, and attending to THEIR comfort than someone unable to hold themselves together but forcing themselves through it out of a sense of duty.


The animals I have not been with, one in particular, haunt me, but the animals I have been their for on behalf of clients have been content in my care, and I am confident would have been better in the care if a vet and vet nurse over an owner who the pet was concerned about even in their ill health.

We have all seen the same with kids who relax when their parents go too...not because their parents are not loving I'm sure.


Some of us are like you and I and able to push down are own emotional needs in the immeasiacy others are not,, I don't think that's a better or worse situation necessarily, unless we fail to recognise that and not draw upon our strengths and recognise our own weaknesses.

cootuk

You also have to consider your reactions at the vet.

Our 18yo cat was put down last year when DD was 9.
The cat was ill and starting to suffer, so we explained to DD that keeping her alive was causing the cat pain and distress, and that she had had a good life. DD accepted this as she knows older people like grandparents can die, even though no-one close to her has died yet.

On the vet day, we all had lots of cuddles with the cat and said our goodbyes.
I took the cat to the vet. Mostly I cried all the time we were there. It took time to get composed enough to drive back home too.
The injections took longer than expected and they had to up the dose. It wasn't instantaneous, but took time to work.

When I got back, we then all said our goodbyes before we buried her, and DD made a little cross to go over the grave.
It was probably a couple of months before she began to grieve and cry about it.

A year later and we can all happily talk about the cat with ease, but there's no way i would have taken DD to the vet.

I haven't cried that much since my dad died,

Artytarty

^^^^^ me too. I think we made a mistake as three months later I can't bring myself to go out and stay in the garden. I always make some excuse why I can't help with the gardening, not bothering with bulbs this year etc.