pet euthanasia should a child be there?

pukkamum

I think the consensus seems to be they should know it's going to happen which I feel is right, would you send them to school that day or over to nan's?

peachyprice

We had no choice but take our then 11yo daughter to the emergency vet with us when our cat died last year. She went in a gave her a last stroke and kiss before the injection was given, my OH then sat outside with my daughter while I stayed with Disney. They both came back in once the vet had wrapped her up in her blanket and put her in her box to be taken home.

She was ok, and glad she got to say goodbye to her the end rather than being left at home to worry.

meritaten

you know your own kids - and they can be surprisingly 'pragmatic' about death. personally, I think 7 and 12 is a bit too young to witness a pet being PTS its hard enough as an adult! I haven't been much help have I? all I can say is that witnessing a beloved pet being PTS is very hard on adults - I wouldn't have encouraged my own children to be there - but if they asked to be there I wouldn't have stopped the older ones.

Tiddlywinks

pukkamum wrote: »

Thanks I am hoping to have it done at home, going to the vets would be very distressing for her.
I know I will be upset but I don't think that's a bad thing for them to see I have been through this a few times so I know I can hold it together.
It just seems so cruel for her to go without them saying goodbye she has been here their whole lives, she used to keep guard at ds bedroom door when she was a baby!

As it will be at home, I would say let them in the room to say goodbye and give a final stroke or tickle and then have them leave her to 'settle'.

Cats are perceptive and too much anguish in the children may be quite distressing for your cat.

They can then fully come to terms with it when you get the ashes for burial / sprinkling.

poet123

As has been said you know your own children but I don't think it is the last memory of their pet that I would want my children to have.

My childhood pet was pts when I was 17 and it took me ages to get over it, my dad had to take his beloved dog to be pts and to be honest he never got over it and he was a war vet.

Obviously, you need to prepare them, but whether they can cope with being there is another question.

Tiddlywinks

pukkamum wrote: »

I think the consensus seems to be they should know it's going to happen which I feel is right, would you send them to school that day or over to nan's?

School as normal, home to say goodbye then off to nan's for an hour whilst the vet calls... Would that be do-able?

I don't think the school would approve of taking a day off for this occasion.

The alternative is that they say goodbye before going to school - with you briefing your dd's teacher that she may be upset - and then the vet comes mid-morning.

lostinrates

I have a different perspective.

I have been at all but two (I think) of my animals PTS my entire life including my dog when I was very young, maybe three?

I think this had a two fold impact, one definitely shaped my future for the better , but honestly, its not something I would do with most seven year olds I know (I'm not a mother). I think. Less positively Its given me an inequitable sense of the weight of responsibility of my life with animals in my life and those I work with.

meritaten

oh I am so sorry pukkamum ! this must be awful for you! for what its worth, to see my OH break down and cry when my beloved Anni (who he bought for me for our first 'anni' versary had to be PTS. I wouldn't have wanted our kids to see that. or me sobbing uncontrollably either. yet the dog passed very peacefully - it was the pain of loss! for both of us.

*max*

Depending on how they are after the fact obviously, I think if they were very upset, I would let them have a day off school. If my cat died (touch wood!), I would take a day off work, definitely (I would actually take more like a week, but then I'd use annual leave).

A pet is very much a family member, and the grieving can be extremely painful. Yeah, I would keep them off school if they are very upset.

Tiddlywinks

I must admit I did have a couple of days short notice leave when my last cat died - I looked a sight anyway... puffy eyes, dodgy sinuses from crying... I just wanted some peace to come to terms with it as she was an old girl who was very much part of the family.