Apple muncher's number crunching

Watty1

Phew what a lot you have to deal with right now. Congratulations on the 15 years and sending love and light for the rest

apple_muncher

Lots of tears from dd yesterday, she was really struggling - grandad, school, missing me when I am away, overtired... I just put her to bed with us, but the sobbing continued until 10pm, poor mite. It is so hard to know what to do with her and for her. I shed so many tears myself yesterday, I had nothing left to give to her.

Dh has just left to catch the bus to church; we shall join him in the car later.

I have been given 3 prioritised tasks to do this week, by a friend I talked to yesterday:
1 the poa
2 read some paperwork to get the exact wording clear in my head
3 get probate moving
(4 organise a washing machine for mum's now we have measurements and lovelyneighbour has given dates she can sit in for it for us for delivery and fitting)

I would also like to:
1 go through dd's brownie book and choose some badges to do
2 do a cut back in the garden, and take the cuttings to the tip instead of leaving them lying around

I said 'this week' but seeing as I go away again on weds pm/thurs am, it should say 'the next 3 days'.

greent

I think that tears sometimes come even more after the initial shock/ having to deal with the stuff straight off (complicated even more in your case by your mum's op) and we can start to process it - the first tears are almost in shock and pain, later tears are deeper grief and sorrow at the knowledge it's real. (clumsy words here, but I hope you understand what I'm attempting to say) You are not just dealing with the death of one parent, but the knowledge that life is changing for the other - the poa requirement shows that. Add to that it coinciding with a new school year and everything else and it's no wonder you felt you had nothing to give.

With regards to probate, are you and your sister dealing with it yourselves? It's not *too* bad to do, but you do need a clear head - and a clear table for the paperwork! Would also agree poa is ahead of probate in the list. And - more importantly - some re-charge time for you - maybe a walk followed by a hot chocolate or something. Good for thinking time too.

Sending thoughts and love your way

xx

apple_muncher

Greent -a friend is helping us do the probate stuff. Dh has written some of the letters - as I've been unable to face them - and dsis is leaving it up to us to do, as she has her hands full with mum and her appointments, etc. As you say, probate can wait.

I rang the poa solicitor today to find she is on annual leave, so that is on hold for a week now.

Dd had a very shaky start to her day, crying and sobbing 'please don't send me to school, mummy'. Very hard! However, go she did and she ended up having a relatively good day.

Once again, I have been told to make dd and dh my priority, and to stick to dd like glue when I am here. I have also been told that dsis spending up to 12 hours a day with mum is her choice, she is a grown up and it is up to her, which I hadn't really considered before.

Dd chose to come to my physio appt with me, which was good company.

Dsis rang this morning and asked after dd, so I gave the honest version, and how I feel torn. She then told me (big bossy sister !) not to go to mum for so long, as mum is in a safe place. So instead of the original plan of weds to sun, I shall now do Fri morning to sat night. And I feel much lighter for having decided that.

Sold some doll clothes on gumt for £8 - I was going to ch shop them, but dd wanted me to try. I'm glad I did.

greent

Your sister sounds like a wise woman

xx

apple_muncher

Took myself off for a wander around some ch shops today. Found myself a beautiful leather shoulder bag (for cmas, of course) for £5, 2 blouses + a hoodie for mum £7.50, 3 books + a wizard set for dd (cmas) for £3.50. It felt like I was spending an awful lot of money, especially as £14.50 was in just one shop... But it is all good stuff. Oyster now do 2 bus journeys for the price of 1 if made within an hour, and I just made it, so felt very smug on the bus home.

My decision to follow Primal Blueprint lifestyle lasted, ooooh, 4 days. Rather pathetic. In those 4 days I did lose 3 lbs, which have all re-appeared now I am eating rubbish again. I think I need to read some PB stuff every morning, and reaffirm my decision for that day.

Dh is doing his extra hours at dd's school, so that will be nice when the pennies arrive. And dd's head, who I know quite well, said that I could go in to school anytime if I wanted to, to take my mind off things, which is v kind.

I have finished HPotter book 7. Boy have I found the last 2 books v emotional.

apple_muncher

Today:
-school runs
-send parcel
-sainz - crumpets, coconut oil + receipt points
-aldi - bread for dh
-shoulder exercises
-washing
-exercise
-follow PB principles and then rate my day

apple_muncher

This morning a mum asked me for one of my bunnies. Yippee. She also mentioned another school's cmas fair and asked if I would share a table with her (she makes jewellery). It is the same day as dd's school fair, which I had decided not to do due to dire takings previously but which dd still wants me to do. Hmm. Dilemma... It would cost me 15 instead of 20 and is a private school, so potentially richer clientele...

Have done most of my list, but today is simply an anxious and overwhelming day.

Off to collect dd and take her to the dentist.

Eating is going well - no grains or sugars thus far...

apple_muncher

How would I rate today?

Eat 7/10
Move 10/10
Play 6/10
Brain 6/10
Sunlight 7/10

apple_muncher

Eat 6/10
Move 4/10
Play 8/10
Brain 7/10
Sunlight 4/10

Dd was off school today, with a cold. She is supposed to be going in tomorrow, but we'll see how the night goes. I have my 3 or 4 contingency plans...