Apple muncher's number crunching

apple_muncher

I did. Thank you for the 'permission' and the pep talks and the dodgy hugs.

I am taking myself out of work for the week, and committing to nowt else (I have withdrawn from kids klub and governing body already) until I know how dh's eye operation goes and when/where they move mum to. I am very grateful to the NHS for looking after her so caringly.

A quote for myself, as I trawl through my previously saved pages of stuff on Primal Living. It was written in response to the 'I don't have time to commit to that lifestyle' excuses:

[FONT=&quot]"There are few moments in our lives when we can truly say we don’t have the time to take care of ourselves. The weeks following a death or serious illness of a loved one, the birth of a child maybe. Even in the most difficult times, however, we can make progress even as we give up the ideal of perfection (who ever said anything about being perfect anyway?)."

It is more important than ever that I look after me (thank you small) first. As a friend at church said today:[FONT=&quot] having a breakdown is not [FONT=&quot]where you want to go.

[FONT=&quot]And my sister told me that she is ok - she is sleeping better, mum is more peaceful - and that I was not to feel guilty about not being there. She also apologised for saying that she needed me to take time off and [FONT=&quot]be there to give her a break.

[FONT=&quot]Tomorrow:
[FONT=&quot]-drop dd at friend's house for 7.20
[FONT=&quot]-go in to work and do photocopies, [FONT=&quot]finish [FONT=&quot]s[/FONT]etting work, come home
[FONT=&quot]- make a GP appointment
[FONT=&quot]-can[FONT=&quot]cel dentist, as [FONT=&quot]I cannot be sure I will ma[FONT=&quot]ke it and would rather not pay
[FONT=&quot]-potter on with clearing [FONT=&quot]- I did a little today and [FONT=&quot]it was v satisfying


[/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT]

apple_muncher

Dd seems to have had a good day.

Dh has had his eye op and is currently on the bus home. We shall go and meet him soon.

Mum is awaiting a confirmed place in the AEB unit, and has had another calm day.

I got a gp appointment (with the dr both dhand I consider the least sympathetic) and he still gave me a note for 2 weeks.

greent

Another vote for making sure you replenish yourself apple - if you run yourself fully empty then you are not helping anyone - as shs said, take care of your house first and then look outside - if you have anything to spare. You have so much on your plate at the moment - and clearly even the unsympathetic GP sees this if he has given you a note for 2 weeks.

More love and dodgy hugs being sent your way :kisses3::grouphug:
xx

apple_muncher

I have been up for a while, as dh got up at 5.50, having to meet the chap he'll be covering for at 6.30. It is good to only live a 5 min walk away!

I feel like making a list of things to do, but then realise that I don't want the pressure of having written it down. Fickle creature. However I do need to do the school run, to go for a run myself, to cancel the dentist, to make a bunny for tonight's party, to find someone to look after dd after school on Friday. I would also like to pop to aldee as they had eco stuff in their Specials on Sunday.

I didn't manage to bother planning primal meals. Oops. But I am trying not to put pressure on myself there! I have had 2 days of no-sugar-no-grains, which is good. Especially as in my current state, sugar would push me over the edge.

I am going to Bham tomorrow and returning on Friday. There is a lot I want to do whilst there and I shall try to be realistic and not feel bad if I don't get it done. Mum is the current priority and although she was moved into an EAB place yesterday, it is not what we expected - it is simply another ward, not a room within a unit. I hope the move will be worth it. Dsis has enquired about bereavement people to talk to mum. She also needs physio, OT people, discharge people...

I do need to go to the house, as the neighbour called yesterday, to ask after mum and to say bgas have written. She will now forward any mail that slips through the redirection, and return brochures, etc to the sender.

Best go and wake up dd. It is forecast to be a super hot day here.

apple_muncher

It is still around 27 degrees here.

I went and ran up and down some hills this morning. Looking like a sweaty tomato and huffing and puffing like a steam train is my new look.

I decided not to go to aldee as it was causing me anxiety. Going to aldee is a joyous occasion, so it was clear that I just needed to stay at home.

Took dd to a party and she had a great time. I stayed for the 2 hours and socialised - a novelty!

Dh's eye follow-up went ok.

Mum really did have a peaceful night last night, sleeping through 11-7. They'll be keeping her there until the end of next week, probably.

apple_muncher

Mum really isn't coping with this heat, with being on a ward. But until we have had the results from the cancer op, it is unwise to plan for her to go home. As each day passes, she seems to forget more of her home, which is an argument for getting her back here. However, she is extremely weak and tired and would not cope being on her own. We need a memory clinic assessment re dementia, the cancer results... All this involves waiting, and that is so tough for mum to do.

In other news, dh and I have been married for 15 years today. Go us!

Tilly_MFW_in_6_YRS

Oh sweetheart what a lot you are having to cope with. Look after yourself.

Holding you in our prayers.

Tilly xxxxx

greent

Belated anniversary wishes, apple xx

apple_muncher

Now I'm crying again! xx

smallholdingsister

15 years! What an achievement. Hope you have a calm weekend xxx