Why doesn't he want to marry me?

an9i77

Person_one wrote: »

Having children is only really a commitment to the child though, men walk away from the mothers of their children all the time without a backwards glance. Yes, they'll always be connected, but all they'll actually owe them is 15% of their salary for 18 years.

yes but one person (usually the man) will have to leave the family home/children which can be heartbreaking/devastating for both the parent and children. So to make a decision to have children with someone you're not sure about staying with carries more repercussions than just getting married, if it all goes wrong further down the line. Therefore most people with some sense (I agree this does not cover all humans) would think very carefully about having a child with someone they are not committed to.

notanewuser

Person_one wrote: »

So people still buy into the neanderthal idea that men only want sex, women only want commitment, and they each have to grudgingly put up with the other to get their way?

No, this is a relationship, not a game, not a power struggle, adults should be able to talk about this stuff sensibly, not !!!!!foot around trying to read each other's minds.

I'm sorry you feel you had to coerce your husband into marrying you though.

:rotfl: I didn't. He had to convince me. But I kept my name, I go by "Miss" or "Ms", we don't have a joint bank account, we're okay with each of us having our own lives as well as our joint life.

Took him 3 years to persuade me to marry him, and another 4 years to persuade me to have DD.

We still have traits of Neanderthal about us. Denying it doesn't change it.

purple.sarah

an9i77 wrote: »

what does HTH mean?

It means Hope This Helps or Hope That Helps, sometimes used sarcastically.

Mojisola

Carer wrote: »

Neither of us has ever wanted to marry. We have discussed it of course, but frankly we can't see the point.

Have you discussed the financial aspects of it?

If you think of it like a business agreement between two people rather than the woman being handed over from a father to a husband, you may see that there are benefits.

Person_one

notanewuser wrote: »

:rotfl: I didn't. He had to convince me. But I kept my name, I go by "Miss" or "Ms", we don't have a joint bank account, we're okay with each of us having our own lives as well as our joint life.

Took him 3 years to persuade me to marry him, and another 4 years to persuade me to have DD. change it.

I guess you weren't giving him any milk then, so he had to try and buy the cow?

Yuk, so much for progress.

daisiegg

an9i77 wrote: »

yes but one person (usually the man) will have to leave the family home/children which can be heartbreaking/devastating for both the parent and children. So to make a decision to have children with someone you're not sure about staying with carries more repercussions than just getting married, if it all goes wrong further down the line. Therefore most people with some sense (I agree this does not cover all humans) would think very carefully about having a child with someone they are not committed to.

Erm! not sure I agree AT ALL. It is impossible to get married accidentally but more than possible to accidentally have a child....as I'm sure you know...

Bazey

an9i77 wrote: »

what does HTH mean?

Hope that helps.

shop-to-drop

An9i77

What are your reasons for wanting to be married?

I am wondering as you seem to be arguing against it.

Is it to have a Wedding?

If so maybe this is putting him off.

sleepymans

Men love themselves first, and one or more "interests*" second, their family(Mum, Dad, siblings...) third........partners are a poor 4th at best.
*The "interset" may be drinking, football, mates, sport, gambling, career, gym, steam engines, vanking, whatever.....any number of things...maybe many of them.....but their partner??? always at the end of the list.

Advise you learn to rely on yourself, girl.

They are made differently to us!

Its just our bad luck if we want to mate heterosexually.:(

p.s. being "legally married" to a male isnt always an advantageous position to be............

Mojisola

sleepymans wrote: »

Men love themselves first, and one or more "interests*" second, their family(Mum, Dad, siblings...) third........partners are a poor 4th at best.

I'd glad the men I know aren't like the ones you have in your life!