Fair rent to charge family?

claire16c

pelirocco wrote: »

Direct debits can not be set up by just anyone !

Sorry I mean a standing order.

SavingPennies_2

Since they arent earning much how about a compromise?

They can continue to pay the minimum amount board (keeps wife happy) but to make up for the shortfall they can pay their way by housework (Keeps OP happy). I know its easier said than done, but you might find it easier to get your wife behind you by saying no they dont have to pay more money but they do have to contribue in another way. Since they are working little/no hours they have plenty of time for chores!

As the children are well past school age does your wife work? Maybe she would appeciate how frustrating it is for you if she did, since money is tight maybe its time she got a job (if she doeant already).

System

Mum still buys them toiletries out of her own money. Lights get left on in empty rooms, radiators get left on in bedroom when not at home.

In that case i'd ask your wife to contribute a little bit more to the family budget.

It might be difficult as my wife seems a bit dozy on medication and I don't want to appear to be taking advantage of her current docile state of mind.

Well wouldn't it be better if instead of skirting round your wifes fragile state of mind than the final option which, using your own words are:

if all else fails either myself or one of my sons move out.

NPowerUser

Thanks SavingPennies

I think the trade off, rent for housework, might work for a few days but both would revert to doing nothing again.

The "im too busy, in a hurry, on facebook, car is outside, im in a rush to get to work (eldest son), out to see the girlfriend or the chores they create like midnight food, gets unnoticed as we are asleep.

Housework could still be part of the solution but I still feel a % of their income up to a ceiling would be the fairest way.

paddy's_mum

She is being an utter fool!

She is, by her obsession with babying her sons, setting them up for a lifetime of unhappy relationships and broken marriages. What future daughter in law is going to want to live to this pattern of selfishness, laziness, stupid spending and blatant disregard of even the most basic consideration? I wouldn't go quite so far as to use the term "p o n cing off" but it surely runs close? What unhappiness is she storing up for future grandchildren?

I think the suggestion of counselling is a good one but I also think it's way past time that it was made clear to your wife that if nothing changes, she'll keep her sons but lose her husband, her marriage and her home.

Good luck.

KxMx

NPowerUser wrote: »

Thanks SavingPennies

I think the trade off, rent for housework, might work for a few days but both would revert to doing nothing again.

The "im too busy, in a hurry, on facebook, car is outside, im in a rush to get to work (eldest son), out to see the girlfriend or the chores they create like midnight food, gets unnoticed as we are asleep.

Housework could still be part of the solution but I still feel a % of their income up to a ceiling would be the fairest way.

It might only work for a few days because your sons have been taught through experience you'll nag for a little while and then give up and clean after them again.

Show them you mean different this time and things might change.

You may have to compromise here, more housework instead of money (since you've indicated wife won't take more off them), would you be willing to do that?

System

I think the trade off, rent for housework, might work for a few days but both would revert to doing nothing again.

Rediculous idea. Your sons should be helping in the house as well as contributing fairly to the household budget.

Mojisola

Judi wrote: »

Rediculous idea. Your sons should be helping in the house as well as contributing fairly to the household budget.

It is but without the wife on board, nothing will change.

One against three won't work.

System

One against three won't work.

Oh it will when the bills don't get paid..... then they will dessert a sinking ship.:mad:

Prothet_of_Doom

Prothet_of_Doom wrote: »

So let me get this straight. JSA is what ? £50 a week? I have no idea, but lets say it is.
The other ONLY works 25 hours. But at mimimum wage that is worth what ? £150 ?

So I'd be saying. Both of you have to work for a local charity 10 hours a week, to pay your rent. Until you are working 40 hours a week in which case you can stop.
You get no washing done,
you provide your own food.
You wash up after yourself
(This draw in the freezer belongs to you two, this shelf in the fridge, this cupboard is yours)
You mow the lawn, you pay your own mobile costs, you hover the stairs, you polish the lounge. 3 hours of chores each a week.

Basically at the moment they are getting £500 each free. £350 to rent the room, £150 plus of food.

Having said that I have an issue with the wife attempting to give our son, a car and pay his insurance, when he starts his year in industry next summer. !!!!!!, he can pay for it himself. :eek: