christmas dilemma

Brighton_belle

Thing is, the Op wouldn't need to 'send her home after 3 hrs', if her husbands mother, in her forties, phoned up cheerfully and said, "don't worry about getting me home, you'll have been working Christmas eve and done all the meal, I want to you to have a put your feet up and not have to turn out again, I'll book myself a taxi home in the evening."

duchy

I think if I was invited by nearest and dearest but told I'd be expected to leave after three hours I'd feel they didn't want me there so wouldn't go at all. Frankly I don't understand the OP at all in one breath she says she loves her MIL and they get along well.....yet she wants to treat her like an unwanted parcel. It's one day of the year and she lives walking distance . So much for Christmas spirit ..the only Christmas spirit I'm seeing is the booze the OP feels is so essential that means a taxi will be needed.

RainbowChild_2

OP. I am so glad you started this thread because I expect there are hundreds of us in the same boat each and every year. My partner and I have had my Dad (who isn't well with cancer and Parkinson's) for the last 7 years since he split up with my ex stepmother. My Mum passed away years ago.

Yes, he is hard work sometimes, I have 2 sisters and a brother that won't put themselves out Xmas day, can I let my Dad sit on his own in his self contained warden controlled flat with a beef sandwich??? NO I can't even though my partner thinks I should, I'm not well either but Dad won't be around forever and in January we will be moving 300 miles away. Does it matter if I cook for 2, 3 or 10?

I still have to argue with partner that Dad WILL be here and no partner won't make life easy but tough!!!!

Not very MSE I know but is there any chance you could dine out? if not there is no shame in frozen spuds and veg etc...

Picking your MIL up and sending her home in a taxi seems like the best compromise x

Usually, we pick Dad up early Christmas morning then by Boxing day afternoon he is dying to get home.

claire16c

Surely if you don't mind her coming for 3 hours she may as well stay the whole day?

And ask her would she please mind arranging a taxi home as you'll have had a glass or two of wine by the evening.

It's ridiculous a 40 year old is being pandered to like this.

Get your husband to prepare all the veg. Even kids can help with stuff like laying the table, putting crackers out etc

duchy

claire16c wrote: »

Surely if you don't mind her coming for 3 hours she may as well stay the whole day?

And ask her would she please mind arranging a taxi home as you'll have had a glass or two of wine by the evening.

It's ridiculous a 40 year old is being pandered to like this.

Get your husband to prepare all the veg. Even kids can help with stuff like laying the table, putting crackers out etc

I'm starting to think the OP is a teenager who thinks everyone over twenty five is in their dotage :rotfl:

I can't imagine any woman in her forties back problems or not who isn't capable of having a conversation about Christmas plans and booking their own cab. It sounds more like the OP simply hasn't even spoken to them about the day.....and might even be assuming MIL is expecting to come when she could have other ideas anyway .

It's also really sad how many comments there are about partners who won't do anything to help with preparations or who are grudging about an in-law sharing the day.

I sometimes wonder if stuff like this is the full truth or if we as women sometimes fall for the hype and think we have to do every single bit ourselves or we're not "good" wives/daughters/mums....and make martyrs of ourselves ? Like in this case-the DIL is ambivalent about MIL coming, partner wants his Mum there but isn't prepared to help or even (it seems) talk to his Mum about arrangements.....or maybe just maybe the OP hasn't asked him to (and it just hasn't occurred to him that his contribution would be helpful). Even the most helpless of men can top and tail sprouts or peel a few spuds or talk to Mum about how she's getting home

I want one of the major supermarkets to run an ad with Dad running himself ragged preparing the Christmas dinner and Mum with her feet up with a glass of wine admiring the kids new toys in the other room with the rest of the family LOL

lavalamp

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Your feeling are quite understandable, but in this case the m-in law is in her late 40's....
Anyway, the Op has definitely decided to have her and get her a taxi to go home in.

I was just pointing out that the world is a fragile place and you never know what's around the corner. It's unlikely the OPs MIL will pass away of course, but you just never know.