christmas dilemma

newcook

is your house big enough to have your friends for xmas day too? you and your friend can do dinner together, the kids will all be playing with their new toys and MIL will be distracted by it all so wont moan!

cook all the meat(s) the day before so all you need to do xmas day is the veg and get OH to do the peeling so you aren't spent all day in the kitchen!

Almo

If OH doesn't drive and can't cook he's going to need to pull his weight in other ways, surely? It sounds like you've decided MIL will need to come to yours; let him sort the logistics of getting her home via a taxi. Let him plan the day so it's not boring, find activities the whole family can enjoy etc. As things stand it sounds like you'd have to do everything while he and MIL get to sit back and enjoy the fruits of your labours.

rach13

Just thinking of the kids here...

Every Christmas since I was born we had my granny out for the day - Dad picked her up in the morning, left her home early evening, just spent the day with 2 brothers, Mum, Dad and Granny and us three kids loved it!

When Dad went to pick her up we had to get dressed in our new Christmas clothes cause we had a visitor coming! We fussed around her and got her a little gift each...we had to bring her cups of tea and biscuits, got to sit in the fancy living room, showed her all our toys we'd got. Had to keep the dog locked in other room cause she hated dogs and took it in turns to sneak him in food! We usually played a board game, did a puzzle or watched a bit of TV. Mum and Dad usually went out for a walk and Granny minded us for half an hour. I have really really happy memories of those Christmas's...

Well sadly she passed away when I was 13...and now I'm an adult - talking to Mum - realise that she didn't really like her at all - they had nothing in common, she dreaded having her over every year for Christmas but did it to keep Dad happy - Dad is an only child and lost his father quite young. So if she had had her way Granny would not have come over! We visited her every Saturday but Mum never came.

So just saying - maybe the kids like having their granny over for the day - even for a change of scenery - are they off school/nursery for 2-3weeks with just Mum and Dad? It's just one day! and looking back - I loved having her over for one day - even though my Mum didn't! And she'll not be around for ever - there will be a time when it's just you, your hubby and the kids...and more times when it's your kids and your grandkids - if they invite you!!!!

clairec79

Is the sister staying at her boyfriend's Christmas Eve night? If not could she bring MIL round to you

Slinky

I'd be booking OH a series of driving lessons as a Christmas present to help sort this issue in future years. If your MIL is in her 40s, you've got perhaps 30+ years of this problem ahead of you.

duchy

Or MIL may choose to spend Christmas with her new boyfriend next year ..........who knows She's in her forties plenty of life left in her yet. It kind of made me giggle when I saw the MILs age -the OP made it sound like she was in her eighties not at an age where she could easily remarry and even present the OH with a new brother

Definitely agree about the driving lessons though !

I'm a bit confused about all the transport logistics if the MIL lives such a short distance away - Can the sister not drop her off or collect her on her way to or from her boyfriend's ? Must admit when I was in my forties I'd not have needed an escort in a cab but could have managed it solo. I'd be talking to MIL about what she wants to do instead of acting like she's in her dotage.

maman

duchy wrote: »

Or MIL may choose to spend Christmas with her new boyfriend next year ..........who knows She's in her forties plenty of life left in her yet. It kind of made me giggle when I saw the MILs age -the OP made it sound like she was in her eighties not at an age where she could easily remarry and even present the OH with a new brother

Definitely agree about the driving lessons though !

I agree. MIL is years younger than me!:eek: I thought we were talking about a senile old lady!:rotfl:

I think MIL needs to be involved in the plans. Surely if she has a back problem she's used to sorting out transport arrangements? OP and her DH need to talk to her, explain the situation i.e. that they'd love to have her over but transport needs sorting. She can book her own taxi.

Lunar_Eclipse

I think I would host the Christmas at your house, but with your MIL (& friends too if you wish.)

I wouldn't want to spend Xmas Day alone, so for that reason I wouldn't dream of allowing my husband's mother to.

I would either book her a taxi home, host her overnight, or ask your husband to drive her home (that is your compromise for having her.)

I'd also keep the meal simple, and delegate or enlist the help of your husband. You could consider a one pot dish or finger foods too. Or ask for her help, especially since you're working the night before.

duchy

Not everyone wants to spend time with non family over Christmas (especially if MIL doesn't know these friends well) but then again ....why not talk to MIL and lay both options out to her and see what she says (Is your car big enough to take all of you to your friends house or would you be cabbing it so you can drink anyway ?) She might surprise you !

Remember cabs need to be booked now for Christmas day and will be double or triple normal fare !

gunsandbanjos

maman wrote: »

I agree. MIL is years younger than me!:eek: I thought we were talking about a senile old lady!:rotfl:

I was reading the thread picturing a little old lady on her own!