christmas dilemma

catkins

You obviously get on with your MIL so I would have her come to your house.

You really need to sort things out for other years though. If your OH has 2 brothers and a sister why is it always up to you to spend Christmas Day with MIL? Where do the brothers live? If they can't get back could she possibly go to one of them?

I don't see why it is down to you and your OH to spend Christmas with your MIL every year

maman

catkins wrote: »

You obviously get on with your MIL so I would have her come to your house.

You really need to sort things out for other years though. If your OH has 2 brothers and a sister why is it always up to you to spend Christmas Day with MIL? Where do the brothers live? If they can't get back could she possibly go to one of them?

I don't see why it is down to you and your OH to spend Christmas with your MIL every year

I think the brothers do need to take a turn. Apparently they had planned to visit but changed their plans. Not sure why.

I think sister is a different case as she lives with her mum all year round.

Bennifred

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

I think I would host the Christmas at your house, but with your MIL (& friends too if you wish.)

I wouldn't want to spend Xmas Day alone, so for that reason I wouldn't dream of allowing my husband's mother to.

I would either book her a taxi home, host her overnight, or ask your husband to drive her home (that is your compromise for having her.)

I'd also keep the meal simple, and delegate or enlist the help of your husband. You could consider a one pot dish or finger foods too. Or ask for her help, especially since you're working the night before.

What - even if she wanted to?! :eek:

catkins

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

What?

She is the kids' grandma and the partner's mum... I think she deserves more than 30 minutes to ease a conscience.

Glad I have family that are more considerate than you appear to be.

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

I think I would host the Christmas at your house, but with your MIL (& friends too if you wish.)

I wouldn't want to spend Xmas Day alone, so for that reason I wouldn't dream of allowing my husband's mother to. .

I know the OP gets on with her MIL but what if she didn't? I don't get on with mine and neither does OH and there is no way we would spend Christmas Day with her. She usually spends it with her daughter but if she had to spend it on her own that is down to the fact that she has spent her whole adult life being nasty and vindictive to people

margaretclare

In the past, I have spent Christmas Day alone, the first year that I was widowed. I have also spent it working, trying to make other people happy.

The sky didn't fall in because I wasn't one of those people in the TV ads sitting at a table with a crowd of others watching the huge turkey being brought in. OK, now I'm lucky in that DH and I are together and we like to do our own thing. But it really, really is no big deal if you spend the day on your own. No disagreements about what to watch on TV, if you even want the TV on. That's a big plus in my book.

Our plan is to go to church, then come home and cook a venison casserole with red wine, with herb dumplings, nice and wintry but no way 'Christmassy'. We have a special bottle of wine that we won in a St George's Day raffle. Maybe go down the sea-front and walk along. People do all sorts on Christmas Day - we've even seen people sitting out eating ice-cream (if it was sunny!)

Why do people have to have things 'arranged' for them, as if they had no opinions/preferences of their own? It's always the older generation who have to be fetched, taken, ferried about, as if they couldn't make any arrangements for themselves.

pelirocco

Have them all over for Christmas , we normally end up with around 15 , its a bit of a squeeze but its a great day , more the merrier in my book

seven-day-weekend

Actually MC, one of our nicest Christmases was one my husband and I spent alone on a deserted beach in Spain, eating chicken sandwiches.

I liked Christmas in Spain because the Spaniards didn't celebrate it until January 6th, by which time, to our English minds, it is all over. They did not hype it as much either. A few times we had a Christmas dinner with some other Brits, but that was quite low-key too.

Last year we were working, so just the two of us again.

This year we are having a family Christmas, but only our son and his girlfriend and her mother plus one. Should be relatively painless.

balletshoes

catkins wrote: »

I know the OP gets on with her MIL but what if she didn't? I don't get on with mine and neither does OH and there is no way we would spend Christmas Day with her. She usually spends it with her daughter but if she had to spend it on her own that is down to the fact that she has spent her whole adult life being nasty and vindictive to people

thats not the same situation as the OPs though - she and her OH do like MIL, and do want her there.

balletshoes

margaretclare wrote: »

In the past, I have spent Christmas Day alone, the first year that I was widowed. I have also spent it working, trying to make other people happy.

The sky didn't fall in because I wasn't one of those people in the TV ads sitting at a table with a crowd of others watching the huge turkey being brought in. OK, now I'm lucky in that DH and I are together and we like to do our own thing. But it really, really is no big deal if you spend the day on your own. No disagreements about what to watch on TV, if you even want the TV on. That's a big plus in my book.

Our plan is to go to church, then come home and cook a venison casserole with red wine, with herb dumplings, nice and wintry but no way 'Christmassy'. We have a special bottle of wine that we won in a St George's Day raffle. Maybe go down the sea-front and walk along. People do all sorts on Christmas Day - we've even seen people sitting out eating ice-cream (if it was sunny!)

Why do people have to have things 'arranged' for them, as if they had no opinions/preferences of their own? It's always the older generation who have to be fetched, taken, ferried about, as if they couldn't make any arrangements for themselves.

i've been quietly chuckling to myself all day about this thread - I'm in my 40s, and I don't even consider myself to be the older generation, never mind need fetched or ferried about - my mum is in her 60s, suffers with a bad hip and knee, and would tell us, her kids, off big time if we attempted to ferry her about and make arrangements on her behalf - because she's still perfectly capable of doing it herself!

We're having christmas dinner at my mum's, she's in charge in the kitchen, I think there will be 16 of us this year .

duchy

It's a good point though.... Not everyone relishes a massive fussy day and would be more than happy spending it alone indulging themselves or just enjoying doing what they want rather than squeezing into an overcrowded house with a load of over excited kids and a chef having hysterics because the dog ate the pigs in blankets lol