christmas dilemma

double_mummy

Clutterfree wrote: »

I can see why your hubby wants her over. Could he not drive her home instead of you?

im the only driver in the family

Tiddlywinks

Maybe if you looked at things more positively then you would enjoy it more.

I think you resent having to spend Christmas day with your MIL and this is making you dwell on the negatives.

People can sense when they are not wanted... maybe your feelings are obvious to your MIL.

Can you get her more involved in some of the preparations? My mum used to help with peeling spuds and prepping the sprouts.

She also used to make up the stockings with little pressies.

Give your MIL some things to do as her thing and then she will feel more included.

balletshoes

meritaten wrote: »

why not stay at home - invite MIL - and say you would appreciate her help as you are working this year?
That way, Mil isn't on her own, you get a bit of help and OH doesn't have to feel guilty!

yep, thats what i'd do - it may make it not so tedious for all of you, as its a change of routine .

if you're the only driver and you don't want to drive her home later in the day, you can pre-order a taxi for her.

eta - i totally understand why your OH wants his mum with him/his family on Christmas day as she'd be alone otherwise. While its true that his siblings have made other arrangements which don't include her, thats not her fault is it?

nickyhutch

Have MIL round to yours, and when she's ready your OH can take her home in a taxi, settle her in then get back home to you and the kids.

amyloofoo

Could you not compromise and go to your MILs / have her at yours, but ask your OH to cook instead? If you're working all Christmas eve then that seems fair, and Christmas dinner doesn't necessarily have to be hard work.

jellyhead

I'd find it easier to cook in my own home (easier still to ask my husband to cook if I'd been working later than he was!), and the children would have their toys there too.

I like the idea of your husband taking her home in a taxi and staying with her for a while before walking back. That way you wouldn't have to drive.

double_mummy

yeah i think it may the best thing is for us to have her here for a bit with her cabbing it back

i would only get hubby to cook if i wanted to die that is my suicide method lol bless him he is wonderful in many ways but is not blessed in that area!

see you guys always seem to know whats best i bow down to your infinite wisdom!!! :T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T

maman

Certainly agree with all the bits that might make it easier (OH helping with cooking, taxi back for MIL etc) but, without meaning to be morbid, I think you should ask her over and make the best of it. It sounds like from her health she won't be around for too many more years.

At the same time plan a lovely day with your friends perhaps Boxing Day or New year.

newbutold

double_mummy wrote: »

i know we would have much more fun with option 3 but it may make MIL feel even worse that we are going somewhere else which is why i have thrown in option 1 even though i know she would want me to go and collect her (she doesnt drive) and then drop her off which means i couldnt drink on xmas day (normally we walk over to hers but with her health the way it is she wont be able to walk here)


any thoughts?

If you do decide on having the mother inlaw over, could your hubby not pick his Mum up & drop her home, enabling you to have a drink

~Chameleon~

double_mummy wrote: »

yeah i think it may the best thing is for us to have her here for a bit with her cabbing it back

I think this is the best decision too. Make sure you book a taxi in advance though as they're likely to be in high demand over the festive period.