Rant!!!

krlyr

Macca83 wrote: »

All this time spent away from home. Is he definitely spending it all at work?

Call me a cynic, but I was also wondering this and was surprised it wasn't said sooner.

Or perhaps he could be spending it working..but not because he is snowed in, could it be a symptom of an issue within your relationship? Your rant at the end of page 1 suggested there is some bitterness from your side. Could this be part of a bigger issue than his workload?

Tiddlywinks

Say_who? wrote: »

Silly little me and there I thought I was being supportive by carrying the household, doing all the housework, shopping and caring for OUR children single handed Monday to Friday. He does NOTHING in the house, no i lie he cooks for himself because theres never any knowing when he might be home and he does a bit of washing up because he cant abide anything left in the sink. I might as well be a landlady and childminder offering sex on the side. In fact I'd be better off my life would be my own. He waltzes in and out whenever he chooses often not arriving home until after 10 o'clock at night 8.00 is the very earliest we expect him.

I was attempting to be supportive by offering to do the service but that would have prevented him from being the star of the show with the little woman as supporting act.

As for other staff being on site working over half term don't be silly. He is absolutely being taken advantage of but won't do anything about it. He just expects me to pick up the slack for a situation I can do nothing about.

But clearly I'm in the wrong expecting our marriage to be a partnership I should just nod and smile and let him do whatever he wants.

Good grief... I wouldn't want to come home to a rant like that.

Ask yourself WHY he is stressed and overworked.

He may be really struggling and need help and support not more aggro at home.

Try to be his partner and figure it out together... He is not the enemy.

Toto

I genuinely don't mean this as a criticism, but you don't sound like you like him very much at the moment. Could it be that there are actually deeper cracks in the relationship and he is spending time away rather than have to communicate with you.

barbarawright

krlyr wrote: »

Call me a cynic, but I was also wondering this and was surprised it wasn't said sooner.

Or perhaps he could be spending it working..but not because he is snowed in, could it be a symptom of an issue within your relationship? Your rant at the end of page 1 suggested there is some bitterness from your side. Could this be part of a bigger issue than his workload?

My first thought too especially as the OP says other staff aren't at the school. He's there on his own? Really? Why can't he work from home?

Pollycat

ecgirl07 wrote: »

If he cant complete tasks in his regular hours he needs to speak to his boss and get his work load adjusted or he needs to work smarter.

I think the above is excellent advice.

As for this, I think you're pretty rude.

Say_who? wrote: »

Silly little me and there I thought I was being supportive by carrying the household, doing all the housework, shopping and caring for OUR children single handed Monday to Friday. He does NOTHING in the house, no i lie he cooks for himself because theres never any knowing when he might be home and he does a bit of washing up because he cant abide anything left in the sink. I might as well be a landlady and childminder offering sex on the side. In fact I'd be better off my life would be my own. He waltzes in and out whenever he chooses often not arriving home until after 10 o'clock at night 8.00 is the very earliest we expect him.

I was attempting to be supportive by offering to do the service but that would have prevented him from being the star of the show with the little woman as supporting act.

As for other staff being on site working over half term don't be silly. He is absolutely being taken advantage of but won't do anything about it. He just expects me to pick up the slack for a situation I can do nothing about.

But clearly I'm in the wrong expecting our marriage to be a partnership I should just nod and smile and let him do whatever he wants.

Sarcasm and telling posters not to be silly is out of order.

When you put your private life on a public forum you should expect to get replies that don't all agree with your view.
If you want a "There, there dear. How dare that nasty man upset you" type of response you've come to the wrong place.

TBH, after reading the tirade above, my sympathies lie with your husband.

Tropez

Does your husband suffer with a form of OCD?

I only ask because you claim that everything has to be perfect for him, from whatever it is he does at work to nothing being left in the sink.

mrcow

So basically he's using his work as a get out for pulling his weight elsewhere.

He'd be driving me up the wall too! If he's that inefficient at his job, perhaps he needs some time management training.

He needs to start contributing at home. Agree a list of jobs with him if he can't do it off his own bat.

Macca83_2

krlyr wrote: »

Call me a cynic, but I was also wondering this and was surprised it wasn't said sooner.

Or perhaps he could be spending it working..but not because he is snowed in, could it be a symptom of an issue within your relationship? Your rant at the end of page 1 suggested there is some bitterness from your side. Could this be part of a bigger issue than his workload?

I would say that you've probably hit the nail on the head.

Op have you both sat down and had a reasonable discussion regarding work demands on his time?

And one point - this little woman nonsense you keep dragging out - quit it. Running a household and looking after children is hard work. You're demeaning yourself and others by belittling what is an essential and important job.

Dovah_diva

Say_who? wrote: »

Silly little me and there I thought I was being supportive by carrying the household, doing all the housework, shopping and caring for OUR children single handed Monday to Friday. He does NOTHING in the house, no i lie he cooks for himself because theres never any knowing when he might be home and he does a bit of washing up because he cant abide anything left in the sink. I might as well be a landlady and childminder offering sex on the side. In fact I'd be better off my life would be my own. He waltzes in and out whenever he chooses often not arriving home until after 10 o'clock at night 8.00 is the very earliest we expect him.

I was attempting to be supportive by offering to do the service but that would have prevented him from being the star of the show with the little woman as supporting act.

As for other staff being on site working over half term don't be silly. He is absolutely being taken advantage of but won't do anything about it. He just expects me to pick up the slack for a situation I can do nothing about.

But clearly I'm in the wrong expecting our marriage to be a partnership I should just nod and smile and let him do whatever he wants.

God, you sound bitter. Got some issues to deal with there; I'd suggest counselling. Oh and lose the idea that you're totally blameless in this situation. I'd wager there is more going on here that you are telling us.

paulineb_2

Really not a good sign when someone ends up doing tons of unpaid overtime, have worked in similar jobs in managerial positions and ended up doing the same.

If hes not a manager its not his concern whether ofsted could inspect at any time, all he has to do is his work on shift to the best of his abilities and yes sometimes in that line of work there will be emergencies that mean you cant clock off at a certain time, but hours and hours of unpaid overtime is a really bad sign and his managers should not be encouraging this.

Its a sign of stress I think, you can become very attached to that kind of work and its very hard to switch off but for his own sake he needs to learn how, because I fear the next step will probably be some kind of stress related breakdown.