Rant!!!

McKneff

I bet you are quite surprised at most of the answers on here oP.

I agree with them also.

Poor man sounds as if he is stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Say_who?

Silly little me and there I thought I was being supportive by carrying the household, doing all the housework, shopping and caring for OUR children single handed Monday to Friday. He does NOTHING in the house, no i lie he cooks for himself because theres never any knowing when he might be home and he does a bit of washing up because he cant abide anything left in the sink. I might as well be a landlady and childminder offering sex on the side. In fact I'd be better off my life would be my own. He waltzes in and out whenever he chooses often not arriving home until after 10 o'clock at night 8.00 is the very earliest we expect him.

I was attempting to be supportive by offering to do the service but that would have prevented him from being the star of the show with the little woman as supporting act.

As for other staff being on site working over half term don't be silly. He is absolutely being taken advantage of but won't do anything about it. He just expects me to pick up the slack for a situation I can do nothing about.

But clearly I'm in the wrong expecting our marriage to be a partnership I should just nod and smile and let him do whatever he wants.

fluffnutter

pinkshoes wrote: »

There's nothing worse than being snowed under with so much work then be made to feel guilty about it by the person who should be supporting you.

Rubbish. That's a workaholic's excuse if ever I've heard one. If you're prioritising work, work, work above your family then perhaps you need to rethink your priorities. Work should be a part of your life, ideally an enjoyable part that seamlessly segues into the rest. There shouldn't be conflict. But there is, mainly because people put the boss before the family.

Why should someone endlessly support someone who is distant, disengaged, absent or simply bad-tempered because of the amount of time they spend at work?

How about there's nothing worse than being the one keeping the family together whilst the person who should be supporting you is never there?

Tamsin_Temrin

OP - completely disagree with the others.

You can't make any plans for family time. Hes opting out of family time because hes 'going to work'. If he is having to do so much extra should he be doing that job at all?

He ll get all the kudos of 'hard work' and 'working for church' while you get to !!!!!!.

What does he bring when it comes to running the home or caring for the children?

Can you calmly ask him why he cut you out of the sermon? No, its not to make it easier, why? No, it isnt helping me out, why?

What is his attitude to family holidays?

btw I would be clear - he was going to cover childcare, child care not being covered by him, his problem to sort out.

Tamsin_Temrin

x post

Anyone in church worth talking to?

gunsandbanjos

I'm surprised by some of the answers, I feel for the OP, her husband is prioritising everything ahead of her and their children.

Been there, done that, it's not fun.

Mojisola

Say_who? wrote: »

At this time we also had talked about a church service we are doing together in a few weeks time and i offered to do it alone as he is so busy but no no he wants to be involved.

Fast forward to Saturday evening it's atlantis on tv and no OH. He did manage to phone 15 minutes before the end to tell me he was just leaving work. Thanks for that, I know it's not top notch tv but when your watching something it's nice to see how things turn out. Girls are sent to bed about 20 minutes after he gets back whereupon he tries to placate me by telling me he actually spent the time at work writing a sermon for the church service!!!

Arrggghhhh! I feel completely manipulated! Not only has he spent all day at work doing something he could have done at home but has taken complete control of something we were supposed to do together. I've been reduced to the status of little woman both at home and at church in a single manipulative action. And get this I'm supposed to be pleased! :mad:

Is he using work as an excuse so that he doesn't have to spend time at home?

Why on earth would he come home too late to spend time with his children because he was writing a sermon you had offered to do on your own? Why didn't he come home, have some family time with you all and then sit down with you and work on the church service?

Like you, I wouldn't be happy.

bagpussbear

He needs to get a new job. Sounds like the one he has is killing your relationship :-(

Macca83_2

All this time spent away from home. Is he definitely spending it all at work?

Brighton_belle

I disagree withmany of the above posters OP. You are legitimately frustrated IMO.
Can I suggest that he is not mirroring Godly behaviour nor loving his wife "as Christ loved the Church". Breaking a promise to his wife and children to write a sermon is not appropriate behiour and he needs to be called on that one (and invalidates anything he has to say in the sermon IMO). What example does this set his children as a Christian father?

He needs to reassess his life choices. A positive family life is at the heart of Christian witness surely?
Teaching is very hard in terms of life balance, but and I am sympathetic to those stresses, as I believe you are, but you have reached your limit as he breaks promise after promise. He needs to work on his boundaries and his need for perfectionism.