Seeing your partner once a week

econnin

clairec79 wrote: »

Do you communicate in the rest of the week? If you only speak the one day a week you see each other I'd be more concerned than if you are in touch most days (text/email/phone etc)

Could it potentially be a sex issue? I'm assuming if you only see each other once a week then you pretty much have sex whenever you see each other - is it possible that she's thinking if you see each other every day you'll expect/want sex daily when she only wants it once a week

The sex issue could be spot on.

duchy

If it is the right person then they will see you as a package deal not a burden.

Errata

CC-Warrior wrote: »

We're no longer together and whilst there may be a possibility of us trying again in the future, I think I've come to the conclusion that a relationship can not be sustained on these terms and I'm concerned that she'll never be ready for anything major like living together.

In that case you've had a very lucky escape.

JustKeepSwimming_2

econnin wrote: »

From my point of view, I couldn't commit to someone for more than once a week, possibly two nights. I've learned that I need space and my life is so chaotic that that's all I could offer. Doesn't mean I would be using the other person. In fact, it's me setting realistic expectations of myself and letting them know where I stand.

However, that one night would be a key night e.g. a Saturday night. Also, I work full time in a demanding job, have a son with a life-threatening chronic medical condition, have exams to study for and a house to run all by myself. If I had more time I would offer more time, but I don't, and I can't lose myself in a relationship so the little time I have to myself has to be rationed. Can the same be said of her?

I love the idea of getting married for life. I also like the idea of having loads of space, and living apart would be something I would definitely consider if it was right for the relationship! What I'm saying is, that there are people out there who just can't do things the way society expects us to. But to have an out of the norm arrangement, you have to both want it.

In a similar'ish situation to econnin (although I don't have a child with such an all-consuming condition - I have a stroppy teenage DD & a soon to be stroppy teenage DS) & I totally understand the comment I've put in bold. Most of the time I'd love to have a long term relationship, but then the reality of how I'd find/maintain one kicks in. I work 30 hours/week & am just knackered from all the years of being a single parent with no support whatsoever (no family support not just from a partner). All I could offer someone would be a maximum of 1 night/week to start off with (assuming I could score a babysitter ) & hope they wouldn't want to do anything horrifically expensive as I don't earn a huge amount but have my own home to maintain too. I have no more time to give as no one is picking up my slack at home when I'm off out, never mind the head space to try & be fun & interesting for someone, & when/if to introduce them to my 2....

Turning this the other way around - I wouldn't want to be with a partner who could only offer this much. So I'm not trying to find a relationship & won't until my 2 are much, much older. Of course by them I'll be so old & knackered I'll be un-datable....

Dunroamin wrote: »

Whilst your choices are perfectly reasonable, surely if you were in a more "normal" relationship you would have someone to share your son's care and certainly someone to split the running of the house with?

I agree with you - I would love my load to be shared & have someone to help out & support me, as well as doing all the fun stuff with a partner. However there are very few people who would want to take on so much straight away (as opposed to these things being split naturally in a couple who get together before kids etc.). Or so I've been told on many occasions when I did try "dating" for several months. I say "dating" as I never actually went on a date - the men decided I was too much like hard work given my domestic situation. Not trying to have a go at the men - they are right & it's a lot to take on. Why would they when there are plenty of single women without kids out there?).

CC-Warrior - what comes across is how you sound unhappy with the situation & that doesn't bode well. I hope you manage to find a solution. I wouldn't be happy with only seeing someone for such a limited time.

JustKeepSwimming_2

Cross posted with econnin - who has put it far more eloquently than I did!

vodkachick68

I have been with my bf for 20 months and see him 3 times a week. We also speak on the phone the nights we don't see each other and also text inbetween. We cannot commit to any more as we both have kids that still need us around and with work commitments it's just not possible at this time.

I moan about 3 nights a week sometimes but would really not be happy with 1 night but everyone is different so who am I to judge.

Hope things work out for you

hgotsparkle

I think if you live together, and its for work, then yes as you have a good reason to only see each other once a week.If its long distance but you plan to live togethers, its hard but yes as the ultimate goal is to be together full time.
A 'seeing someone'/'dating' scenario, no as it'll never be serious.


Before living with OH, we lived about a 40min drive from each other, not far but we saw each other about 3 or 4 times a week and the driving was a drag, as it meant we didn't have long together of a weekday evening, but it worked.

heartbreak_star

I couldn't deal with living apart. I love waking up next to OH too much

HBS x

CC-Warrior

Thank you everyone for your replies.