Seeing your partner once a week

Errata

Somebody's being wound up here, but I'm not entirely sure who it is.

CC-Warrior

kelpie35 wrote: »

Can I ask how old you both are.

By the sounds of things this relationship (if that is what you want to call it)
is making you very unhappy.

I think the time has come for you to move on and find someone who is willing to spend time with you and to enjoy doing things together.

37 and she's 31

kelpie35

So are you telling me that at 37 years of age you are happy to just sit and wait to see her 6 hours per week.

If so you need to get a life.

Sorry for being so harsh but I just can't believe that people are willing to accept this sort of "relationship" unless of course you like being made a fool of or used.

CC-Warrior

kelpie35 wrote: »

So are you telling me that at 37 years of age you are happy to just sit and wait to see her 6 hours per week.

If so you need to get a life.

Sorry for being so harsh but I just can't believe that people are willing to accept this sort of "relationship" unless of course you like being made a fool of or used.

We're no longer together and whilst there may be a possibility of us trying again in the future, I think I've come to the conclusion that a relationship can not be sustained on these terms and I'm concerned that she'll never be ready for anything major like living together.

Ms_Chocaholic

Is it her work commitments that means she's not willing to see you more than 6 hours a week or just that's how she likes it. Unfortunately, if the latter, she's calling all the shots and you're better finding someone else as, after a year, I can't see it improving.

econnin

From my point of view, I couldn't commit to someone for more than once a week, possibly two nights. I've learned that I need space and my life is so chaotic that that's all I could offer. Doesn't mean I would be using the other person. In fact, it's me setting realistic expectations of myself and letting them know where I stand.

However, that one night would be a key night e.g. a Saturday night. Also, I work full time in a demanding job, have a son with a life-threatening chronic medical condition, have exams to study for and a house to run all by myself. If I had more time I would offer more time, but I don't, and I can't lose myself in a relationship so the little time I have to myself has to be rationed. Can the same be said of her?

I love the idea of getting married for life. I also like the idea of having loads of space, and living apart would be something I would definitely consider if it was right for the relationship! What I'm saying is, that there are people out there who just can't do things the way society expects us to. But to have an out of the norm arrangement, you have to both want it.

Dunroamin

econnin wrote: »

From my point of view, I couldn't commit to someone for more than once a week, possibly two nights. I've learned that I need space and my life is so chaotic that that's all I could offer. Doesn't mean I would be using the other person. In fact, it's me setting realistic expectations of myself and letting them know where I stand.

However, that one night would be a key night e.g. a Saturday night. Also, I work full time in a demanding job, have a son with a life-threatening chronic medical condition, have exams to study for and a house to run all by myself. If I had more time I would offer more time, but I don't, and I can't lose myself in a relationship so the little time I have to myself has to be rationed. Can the same be said of her?

I love the idea of getting married for life. I also like the idea of having loads of space, and living apart would be something I would definitely consider if it was right for the relationship! What I'm saying is, that there are people out there who just can't do things the way society expects us to. But to have an out of the norm arrangement, you have to both want it.

Whilst your choices are perfectly reasonable, surely if you were in a more "normal" relationship you would have someone to share your son's care and certainly someone to split the running of the house with?

GwylimT

For a long time we saw it each other on Saturdays, she worked away during the week and it was too far to come back home and my son didn't know her very well so she was only at the house/with me when he was elsewhere.

clairec79

Do you communicate in the rest of the week? If you only speak the one day a week you see each other I'd be more concerned than if you are in touch most days (text/email/phone etc)

Could it potentially be a sex issue? I'm assuming if you only see each other once a week then you pretty much have sex whenever you see each other - is it possible that she's thinking if you see each other every day you'll expect/want sex daily when she only wants it once a week

econnin

Dunroamin wrote: »

Whilst your choices are perfectly reasonable, surely if you were in a more "normal" relationship you would have someone to share your son's care and certainly someone to split the running of the house with?

That's a very reasonable statement but for me it's a catch 22. How do I get to that point where I know that they would be the right person for me to share those things with if I haven't got the time and energy for seeing them more than once, twice a week, without giving up 'me' time (which is extremely limited) to find out? I've made too many mistakes along those lines. I also don't really believe that a relationship is about finding someone to share the burden of household chores and helping with childcare. I would want something of a higher nature than that, hence why I don't necessarily have to live with him. But I'm also happy to stay single.