A simple and probably unnecessary moan about family.

HPoirot

Mojisola wrote: »

I think I'd be emailing them in early November next year (before they phone your Mum) to remind them that you and your wife won't be able to put them up so that "they have plenty of time to arrange somewhere to stay for their annual visit to their mother".

Good idea but I'd tell them now! This xmas is a good time to start saving for next xmas's hotel stay...

paulineb_2

Id tell them nothing, seriously, I live in a decent enough flat in a very poor area, nothing special, but the minute someone left a used condom in my house, dont let the door smack your bottom on the way out.

Dont let people take advantage, family or not, get rid. You are getting married, you have your own family, let someone else open their doors, its no longer your problem.

If you let them run riot when they are being so nasty because you are getting wed then prepare yourself for many more years of being used and abused.

Mojisola

Tropez wrote: »

I think half the problem is I forget they exist between January and mid-December

Be grateful for that!

You don't want them turning up for several visits a year, do you? :eek:

Heffi1

I do hope you will remind them next year how awful their reaction was to not sponging off you this year, and repeat it each year so that they are in no doubt, that their disgraceful behaviour is the reason they are now not welcome, there is no reason to mention how petty and horrible they are as people.

If I had told someone to make other plans this year and received the abuse you had, then I would leave them in absolutely no doubt at all, that from this point on they would NEVER be welcome again.

Christmas or not, manner cost nothing and these people seem to have forgotten theirs.

marywooyeah

Tropez your relAtives sound like a bunch of c words, they are the ones who fornicate with mothers! although your opening post had me in stitches!

Seriously though, I'd use this as the opportunity nto put your foot down and tell them they cant come anymore or the same will happen year after year where they contact yoyr mum seeking to stay.

Fbaby are you for real? 6 weeks is ages! As for its the same every year, that's because they invite themselves every year! I think the op has been curteous to notify them!

Op you sound like a really nice guy despite all they've put you through, have a great wedding! And remember, he who laughs last.....

cazpumpkin

I would go further


I would send another email saying when you return from your wedding you will no longer have anyone except your mother stay in your home.


From now on tell them if they want to see their mother they can arrange it with your mother or you all meet odwn the local pub for a sunday carvery or similar.




You need to tell your mother that you dont feel close to them and that you wont interfere in her plans or theirs but that from now on you wont be hosting anything except invites to your mother

arbroath_lass

FBaby wrote: »

6 weeks is not a lot of time to find out that arrangements that have been the same years after years

4 weeks more notice than Tropez normally gets. What's good for the goose.

1886

These family members of your's sound horrible. They arrange via your mum to come and stay at your's when it's your house! Nice.

Face to face they would'nt dare say half of the things they've said to you. They're probably all too dim to realise that next year if your mum is still living with you there's going to be a big problem and that's the way they've just treated you.

I think you should tell your mum how you feel about the whole thing too. Hopefully things will change after this. Have a nice wedding in America, I was in Florida for Christmas in 1998 and it was brilliant. Sun, Sea and Sand swapped for cold, dark and wet England

Tropez

1886 wrote: »

These family members of your's sound horrible. They arrange via your mum to come and stay at your's when it's your house! Nice.

Face to face they would'nt dare say half of the things they've said to you. They're probably all too dim to realise that next year if your mum is still living with you there's going to be a big problem and that's the way they've just treated you.

I think you should tell your mum how you feel about the whole thing too. Hopefully things will change after this. Have a nice wedding in America, I was in Florida for Christmas in 1998 and it was brilliant. Sun, Sea and Sand swapped for cold, dark and wet England

Ah mum doesn't live here, it's just her house is very small compared to mine and they make the suggestion that they stay here and mum's response is "Oh I'm sure he won't mind" because as well meaning as she is, she's also quite daft at times.

And thanks for your kind wishes!

We're spending Christmas on the beaches of San Diego, hopping over to Las Vegas for our New Years wedding and then all our guests are going home while we spend a short honeymoon together at Lake Tahoe

missprice

6 weeks is a lifetime.
2 people will tell me nearer the time if they are coming to mine or not.
Quite possibly one of them may tell me the day before.
I used to be upset but when I thought about it, one extra person or not will make little difference to the food or alcohol amount, and if this person was so bothered what they might get to eat they can bring their own.

Congrats to OP on the wedding and start making them aware and your ma too that christmas at yours won't be happening again