Its a little bit complicated

bestpud

I can't say much but thinking of you and I really hope they catch up with them. Horrible situation - I feel for you all terribly.

Keep reminding yourself you're doing the very best you can under very difficult and distressing circumstances and that is all anyone can ever do.

I guess SS will fully discuss the implications of your niece staying with your parents if it comes to that? I'd hope so anyway!

mae

Has she ever confided in any of your family that she is being abused?

Nenen

Poppy, words cannot express the depth of my feelings when reading your posts. Your aunt's acceptance of his horrific excuse that his daughter, you and your younger sister all 'came on to him' makes my blood boil.:mad: :mad: :mad:

Most abused children believe it is all their own fault and carry all the guilt and shame but I only have to think of my own dd at age 12/13 to realise an innocent child (and however much 12/13 year olds think they are grown up they are still children) can NEVER be to blame at this tender age. To be blunt, and apologies for the crudeness but it is heartfelt, if a young adolescent child stands stark naked in front of an adult man (especially one she is related to) and begs him to f**k her it is TOTALLY the responsibility of the adult man to say 'No'. It is NEVER an excuse for a man to say a child 'came on to him'. He is *supposed* to be a human being, able to control himself not an animal who acts only upon urges and instant gratification with no thought for others. The law is 100% behind this (unless the man genuinely had no idea of the child's age which patently is not the case for you) and states that this is RAPE whatever the child does or doesn't do.

It is not too late for you to contact the police again about your own abuse. Most forces have specialist child abuse officers nowdays who would hopefully be much kinder than the 'sharp' one you encountered in your childhood. There are also groups for survivors of childhood sexual abuse (personally I much prefer the term 'survivor' to 'victim'). I do wish you and your family all the very best and hope that this animal and his accomplice (and that is the very least offensive word I have for your aunt) get all the punishment that they deserve and more.

You have my utmost admiration for continuing your battle to overcome the terrible scars this animal left you with. Please, please don't feel guilty for struggling sometimes... you are a brave and victorious survivor who has refused to let this beast prevent her from having a wonderful family and living her life in the best way she can.

poppyscorner

mae wrote: »

Has she ever confided in any of your family that she is being abused?

No she hasn't she has never been allowed contact that is without her mother being there since everthing surfaced about what happened to us and that was ten years ago it is her behaviour that concerns me of what I can remember of her rocking backwards and forwards wrapped up in a tight ball crying but did not know what was wrong and small things in her behaviour back then always left me with the suspicion that something was going on and after we my mum questioned her mum about it she took her away and we haven't seen her on her own since if we have seen her then it has been at family events where her mum would not leave her side my gran was the one who had the most contact but that was all prearranged she was not allowed to visit on the spur of the moment and when she could visit they were never left alone for more than a couple ofmins while mum popped to toilet.
I would deeply hope that my family and I are completely wrong about the whole thing and she has been bullied at school (obviously I don't wish this on her but as an alternative to being abused by her father I would rather she was a victim of bullying) I do however now on further info from SS however sketchy it may be that their actions are suspicious they have always lived in a certain seaside town and always wanted to be there but as soon as the attempt on her own life they move her away and isolate her in a remote place I find this deeply suspicious and although it could well be coincidence I can't help thinking there is a purpose for it and the phrase 'no-one can hear you scream' comes to mind a phrase he used against both my sister and me when he managed to isolate us at a light aircraft airfield he used to go to and make us 'stay' with him.
I know just how devious he is and also how much worse than him her mother is she will lie through her back teeth to protect him and god forbid he has abused their daughter her mother will almost certainly brand her a 's**g' and say she came onto him this is her reasoning for his abuse of us and his other daughter she will also very sternly tell you he is not a paedophile he is just weak where women are concerned she refuses to accept that as children isolated in a strange place we have all had little choice but to do as he wishes.
I hope this doesn't come accross as defensive just adding more info and some of my writing may seem a bit aggressive and I am angry but just at the situation and maybe a little at myself as because of circumstances he has gotten away with so much that he shouldn't have.

Anyhow I hope this answers your question and doesn't offend you that is in no way my intention

poppy

Elle00

Oh god Poppy, I can't say anymore or give anymore advice than has already been given, this is just so awful.

I don't want to relay my own experiences over SS and how rubbish they can be where it's blatantly obvious a child would be better off in care but I really do understand with all my heart. The only thing that springs to mind is to go to the police instead of SS if they are not acting properly because a child protection officer might have more sway with SS than you and your Mum alone.

Just remember you're not responsible for these people's actions and that you can only do so much to protect someone who is in someone else's care. You're not to blame and you're doing all you can.

World's biggest HUGS

Elle xxx.

milkydrink

poppyscorner wrote: »

I hope this doesn't come accross as defensive just adding more info and some of my writing may seem a bit aggressive and I am angry but just at the situation and maybe a little at myself as because of circumstances he has gotten away with so much that he shouldn't have.

Not defensive or agressive at all, do not apologise.

Do not be angry at yourself because he has gotton away with so much.

Only two people are at fault here, that evil pedo & his twisted wife. Perhaps the social services & the police could have performed better.

Sounds like you might be able to at least get a little justice here with him. He will never get his dues, our system is too soft on them. But hopefully there is a hell & every b1oody pedo is rotting in it for eternity.

I really think you are wonderful, how many abused kids have someone like you fighting their corner.

poppyscorner

kimevans wrote: »

how many abused kids have someone like you fighting their corner.

Thats just the problem with our system isn't it and charities like NSPCC have to step in and help out I consider myself lucky that I had a wonderful youth worker who ran a youth club she really was an unsung hero she worked tirelessly to support our local teenagers I think the club got shut down because of funding issues and that is a crying shame I will never forget her and I consider myself honoured to have known her when I first told her I needed to talk she came and picked me up and took me out for a day in rothbury so we could talk in private and have no interruptions we all went around to her house afterwards with abunch of flowers but sadly things like her club are becoming few and far between and kids at risk have nowhere to turn

skintas_2

poppy you are in my thoughts in this dreadful time, keep ur chin up, x x x

arthur_dent_2

Why aren't social services doing something before it is too late:mad::mad::mad:

I am so sorry that you are still having to suffer at the hands of this evil pair. I cannot believe the poor conduct of the social services and I believe that I can safely say that anyone who has read your plight has nothing but respect and admiration for what you and your family are doing.

Hound the social services and hound the police as there is from what I can gather a great deal of danger to this child. What has been, what is and what she may do to herself.

Sympathy is all I can give, but you have it with all my heart.

jinky67

Can you possibly pass a letter or phone number through SS or her GP via SS?
What a horrible situation to be in.
Love to you and your sister