Its a little bit complicated

Katie~baby

Omg Poppy! Firstly i want to say well bloody done for not letting this evil !!!!!!! ruin your life!

I should imagine that the site in question would take your details off its your details after all.

As for the poor little girl still in contact with this evil !!!!, you must do EVERYTHING in your power to rescue her. No other child should have to live the torment he made you live through. Your aunt is just as bad if she truly believes this man will not do anything to their daughter. Is there anybody else in the family who can speak to the little girl? Offer her a safe haven? Maybe she feels like she has nobody to talk to and that nobody will beleive her.. If she feels there is somebody out there who will support her it might give her the courage she needs.

(((((((((MASSIVE HUGS)))))))))))

bunty109

OMG my stomach has turned at the thought of what you have been through and the fact that your aunt had a daughter by this man.

Would it be too late for you to go to the police and press charges now for what happened to you? I appreciate that you might not want to drag it all up, but it might be a way of getting the daughter away from him.

((((Poppy))))

Mizz_Pink

Your Aunt can list living relatives as 'Living' and not their names or date of birth, so no-one will know who you are. It just shows up as Female Living I think.

Contact Genes or you might havto contact your Aunt or get someone else to do it to remove you. I dont think Genes will be able to unless they have your Aunts permission.

jinky67

:grouphug: :grouphug: I cant believe ANYBODY would want to stay with such a sick individual.
Especially if they have children of their own.Your Aunt must be deluded if she doesnt think that anything is going on.
Dont give up on your cousin though she will need someone to talk to...does she have a mobile you can ring her on?
All of your family should just keep reporting this man to everybody...school,police,social work and anybody else you can think of.
thinking of you

SSB

Hi
Yes, you can ask for your details to be removed. Those who are appalled that the Aunt chose to stay with the man, women abuse too... It is possible that she fully acknowledges the abuse and therefore chose to stay.

Mrs_pbradley936

plumpmouse wrote: »

Hi

I'm sure when I signed up for Genes reunited it said somewhere that you should have permission from living relatives to be included in your tree. However typically I can't find it now but I'm sure I read that.

I would contact the site about it. I'm sure they will be understanding about the matter and it may even break their t&c's, they may want to remove her tree completely

I am sure you are right about this because I have had to give my permission for others to use my tree.

sleepymy

SSB wrote: »

Hi
Yes, you can ask for your details to be removed. Those who are appalled that the Aunt chose to stay with the man, women abuse too... It is possible that she fully acknowledges the abuse and therefore chose to stay.

I'm thinking the same unfortunately. She may not be taking part in the abuse but has convinced herself that it's not that bad for her daughter and perhaps even that her daugher (and you & your poor sister) have somehow contributed to the abuse. Either way she is sick and that little girl needs to be removed from the home.

If you know the little girl's gp or school perhaps you can talk to them about it. The fact that he kept moving back in should be enough grounds for SS to prove that her mother isn't protecting her. Perhaps if you threaten SS with the media and follow it though if need be this little girl might be saved.

It's a horrible situation for you to be in, it's so unfair that the feeling of responsibility for this child is being forced on you like this.

poppyscorner

Hi All,

Thanks for all of your messages of support I feel responsible for my cousin I have carriedc that for the past 12 yrs in fact the whole reason it came out about me and my sister was because I found out what he had done to her at the time it caused a huge rift in the family my dad had to really restrain himself and on numerous occasions I heard my mum begging him not to go and fill him in my parents marriage came close to breakdown because of it dad couldn't talk about it mum wanted to and it took him ages to get his head around it.
He had convinced me that if I had told anyone what happened my mum and dad wouldn't want me anymore as I would be branded a liar and no one would want me.
I confessed what happened to my youth worker who I saw every week on Fridays at a youth club I loved her to bits and asked her for some counselling but wanted to be anonymous she said she would try and help but of course in the job she was in dictated that she had to report it (I didn't know that when I told her) When she told me what she had done I sobbed and sobbed I wrote a letter to my mum and dad to tell them I was sorry for what I had done and that I loved them but I would go into care.

God it is years since I spoke about this and it really is rather upsetting.

The social workers turned up at mums house the next week they told my parents they had to keep us away from him and unless they could assure them of this they would take us into care there and then we came in from school to mum and dad both crying they took us upstairs one at a time and asked us what happened I told them bits and pieces but they still to this day do not know what really happenned to us I do not think they could cope with it.
We were interviewed that weekend but the police only got basic info because the woman who did the interview was awful very snappy and I for one felt like we weren't worth her trouble (at least that is how she came accross)

My parents were then told that if he was to visit our house they had to act normal they didn't want him to run and assured us he would be prosecuted this was the toughest pill to swallow they had to keep us away from him but if he came to the house then act normal so as not to scare him off.

I can remember quite vividly coming in from school to my dad being frantic as he had left our house 15mins earlier and dad had had to be nice to him and make him cup of tea make small talk it was like being undercover don't blow it or we wont get him we all had a good cry that night.

When he eventually got arrested his wife (my aunt) came to our house asked what the hell was going on and mum and dad told her what they knew she said she was gonna kick him out instead she went home He said we came on to him she believed him.

It was later when we found out his history and when aunt was asked she said his daughter was a slapper she came on to him my mum told her to not be so gullable and f*** off out of her life she never wanted to speak to her again.

Their daughter had an ally in my Gran she would visit and keep a close eye on things the daughter must have been warned never to speak about any contact with her father as she would never talk about him but we know for a fact she remained in contact with him and my grans visits had to be prearranged SS have apparently on numerous occasions gone to her house she has told them to p*** off and they have.

This has all been on tip offs from grandma but after her death last year we have limited contact with them mum has sent a letter to SS but they won't respond the only contact number we have is the mothers mobile and she will not allow speaking to the daughter we don't know their current address only that it is in South Shields and we have no clue which school she attends.

I would not go near the house as I could not face him after all these years I am still petrified of him so I am left seeing what is going on and feeling powerless to stop it.

I went through two years of counselling to help me cope with it and I have managed to carve out a normal life for me and my kids I rarely talk about it but I still think about it. It has made me super protective of my kids and I am wary of anybody being with them.

To those who said she is as bad as him I wholeheartedly agree with you she is and in her actions I regard her as an abuser she put us in the position that he could abuse us and she knew he was capable of it I give her an equal proportion of the blame.

Thanks again for all your support

A very thoughtful Poppy

quickstepqueen

Hugs to you poppy. Just read this thread and I can't believe how incredibly strong you're being.
Sometimes we can only do as much as we can do and the rest is down to others. Your Aunt (IMHO) knows what is happening to her daughter but is caught up in self denial. Maybe she doesn't want her relationship to end even though awful things may be happening. People can make really odd choices in life based on their own needs.

Will be thinking about you. Much love and support.

sleepymy

Oh poppy, I'm welling up reading that. You, your sister and your parents have been through so much, I hope that in the end it made you stronger as a family. I can relate to so much in your story and my heart really goes out to you.