Its a little bit complicated

outrageous_monkey

I just wanted to say, Poppy, I think your amazing:grouphug:

This must be so incredibly difficult for you right now. You're doing the very best you can which, is pretty fantastic.

I wish you all the best getting your details off that scums family tree and I wish you all the very best with your cousin

poppyscorner

It has indeed made us very close though we were close before besides my hubby my parents are my best friends and I adore them my grandma was exactly the same and at times like this I especially miss her.

I await the day I can speak to my cousin again and always on passing a police station wonder what might happen if I go in its just that other than immediate family alot of others have called me a liar and I'm terrified they would say the same.

I still don't feel I have done enough for my cousin and anything that happens now will always be too late as SS left her in his clutches and why did they not remove her from them when that was one of the first threats they made to our family.

I also worry about my sister she is probably now at the stage I was when I began counselling she is drinking alot running up debts to do so and being rather promiscuous (sp?) she has recently been treated for depression but refuses to talk about it not even to a counsellor she is pressing the self destruct button.

Thanks
Poppy

ALI1973

I just had to add my support, you are an incredible lady!

Please just keep trying to get the message thru to SS, as others have said, threaten them if u need to. I truely hope your sister can come thru this as strong as you.

As far as the Family Tree is concerned, I am sure that you have to have living relatives permission to add them on, so get in touch with the site concerned.

I cant write all the things I would like to say about people like your Aunt and "that man" as they would be deleted Im sure :mad: .

Big ((((Hugs)))) to you!!

bunty109

((((Poppy)))) You are amazing with the way you have coped. I hope your sister is going to be able to get the help she obviously needs.

poppyscorner

Hi again,

Just wanted to update you all on what has happened today following latest turn of events the whole lot blew open tonight we have all emailled the website concerned about the family tree I am still awaiting a response from the site concerned but on the subject of my cousin unbeknowns to me today my mum has emailed SS for the umpteenth time today and they have contacted my mum they have moved again apparently. The SS are looking into the whole case again his first crime the rape of his first daughter me and my sister and finally my cousin my mum has the social workers details and apparently she was taken off the at risk register years ago because her mother told them oh no she has no contact with her father and they believed her.
After this phonecall my mum phoned her brother who has just returned from his holidays to find out that my cousin age 14 remember has tried to commit suicide a fortnight ago the social worker does not know about that and mum is going to inform him tommorow her mother has said its because she is being bullied although I don't know for sure I am inclined to doubt her explaination.

I have told my mum the sw can contact me I am willing to talk to him and for the first time reveal the true extent of what went on something which I said earlier I have never done I don't know what my sister plans to do but it wouldn't suprise me if this was the straw that broke the camels back and she blows the lot out.

I am very scared and doubt I will sleep tonight I am plagued with guilt but at some points in my life I have struggled to keep my head above the water and I have attempted suicide on one occasion I have battled back from this and I am now happily married and a mother of two wonderful boys and a gorgeous stepdaughter. He has not won because I have picked myself up and carried on he is pure evil and I hope he rots in hell.

I will keep you updated as circumstances allow and so as not to compromise anything but thank you all for your wonderful support as usual you have been brilliant.

One last question due to her mothers failure to protect her is there a chance she will be removed from her care and if so what will happen to her will she have to go into care or will they look to family first?

Poppy

LouBlue

poppyscorner wrote: »

Hi again,

Just wanted to update you all on what has happened today following latest turn of events the whole lot blew open tonight we have all emailled the website concerned about the family tree I am still awaiting a response from the site concerned but on the subject of my cousin unbeknowns to me today my mum has emailed SS for the umpteenth time today and they have contacted my mum they have moved again apparently. The SS are looking into the whole case again his first crime the rape of his first daughter me and my sister and finally my cousin my mum has the social workers details and apparently she was taken off the at risk register years ago because her mother told them oh no she has no contact with her father and they believed her.
After this phonecall my mum phoned her brother who has just returned from his holidays to find out that my cousin age 14 remember has tried to commit suicide a fortnight ago the social worker does not know about that and mum is going to inform him tommorow her mother has said its because she is being bullied although I don't know for sure I am inclined to doubt her explaination.

I have told my mum the sw can contact me I am willing to talk to him and for the first time reveal the true extent of what went on something which I said earlier I have never done I don't know what my sister plans to do but it wouldn't suprise me if this was the straw that broke the camels back and she blows the lot out.

I am very scared and doubt I will sleep tonight I am plagued with guilt but at some points in my life I have struggled to keep my head above the water and I have attempted suicide on one occasion I have battled back from this and I am now happily married and a mother of two wonderful boys and a gorgeous stepdaughter. He has not won because I have picked myself up and carried on he is pure evil and I hope he rots in hell.

I will keep you updated as circumstances allow and so as not to compromise anything but thank you all for your wonderful support as usual you have been brilliant.

One last question due to her mothers failure to protect her is there a chance she will be removed from her care and if so what will happen to her will she have to go into care or will they look to family first?

Poppy

What a heartbreaking story. I really hope it sorts itself out and your cousin gets out of that terrible situation. You are so strong and obviously have a wonderful OH and kids to help you through it all.

Please keep us posted. xxx

arthur_dent_2

That is so horrible. I cannot do anything for you but you will always have the continued support of everyone on here. What a dreadful situation, I hope that it all resolves itself the best it can and that your family can be rid of this evil man and the evil mother.

bunty109

Poppy, I am not legally trained or anything but as far as your aunt goes my thoughts are that she has lied to social services and this has resulted in a minor being left in the care of a convicted paedophile. If Social services can get your cousin to talk or you can convince them that this man is still a real risk then I would think they are going to take a REALLY dim view of your aunt.

In many respects your aunt is worse than this man. He has the something badly wrong with him psychologically (that isn't an excuse for what he has done and there's no way anyone could make excuses to vindicate his behaviour). She knows he is a risk and he's been upfront about his past conviction and yet she chooses to ignore it. :mad: :mad: :mad:

All you can do is your best to ensure that her daughter is taken into care or goes to stay with family who can look after her: I think talking to the social worker will really help. I'm sure your cousin must be traceable through a school or the hospital/GP.

We're all thinking of you and rooting for you and your cousin (((more)))

milkydrink

The odds are we all know that she has already been abused.
But I think that because you are stepping in now (& have tried in the past) that she will know, that "yes it did happen" BUT some people did care & try to rescue her. Where as IF nothing further was done, I think she would feel very angry in later life than no-one had bothered.
I speak from experience, SO 100% YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING.

bestpud

kimevans wrote: »

The odds are we all know that she has already been abused.
But I think that because you are stepping in now (& have tried in the past) that she will know, that "yes it did happen" BUT some people did care & try to rescue her. Where as IF nothing further was done, I think she would feel very angry in later life than no-one had bothered.
I speak from experience, SO 100% YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING.

Absolutely! If she has been abused then the sooner she gets help the better her life chances.

Re the care issue - I'd have thought she would be able to come to family but I guess a lot depends on how she feels about it. She's obviously pretty mixed up at the moment. She quite possibly is being bullied but on top of the abuse, not instead of it!

I don't know if they would put her in care while they investigate or not? I guess if you all made it clear you are happy to support her, even if that means keeping in contact while she is looked after by someone else, then they should take this into account?

I've refrained from posting up until now as it makes me so angry to read about people like your aunt, more so than 'things' like him!

Best wishes to you with the social worker - it's so hard to talk about this stuff but keep remembering how it may help your niece and probably her friends etc too. I'll be thinking of you all.