Its a little bit complicated

poppyscorner

Good Morning all,

Wondered if anyone can advise me, a relative of mine (my mums sister) married a convicted paedophile (sp?) he had done time for raping his 13yr old daughter from a previous marriage this bloke went on to abuse me and my sister (we didn't find out about his past until after he abused us) he never got time for what he did to us and that section of our family was cut off from us my aunt believed him when he said we came on to him I was 13 and sis was 11.
I have never forgiven my aunt and never willshe still lives with him and they have a daughter together who is now 14.
Anyway I joined a site that helps you plan your family tree only to find that my aunt has linked me into her family tree and technically I am but I do not wish to be listed in the same tree as a paedophile she has also listed my hubby and kids can I contact the site and get them to remove my info from their tree or can I do nothing my problem is that I want no links to him at all and for that matter her either because she is just as bad as him.

Any advice appreciated

Poppy

nats3006

Sorry to hear about this awful man, i really feel sorry for you, i would contact the place where she has done the family tree and explain to them it is all complicated and you do not by any means, want your name on that tree!!
im sure they could take it off!!!

hth

Jet

Poppy,

How awful for you and your sister. I will never understand how a woman can stand by a man like this.

Anyway, the fact is she is still your Aunt whether you like it or not, I suppose and technically she is part of your family.

I understand your distress, but I don't see that there is a lot that can be done. You could try asking the website and explaining the situation and see what they say?

milkydrink

Could this mans 14 year old daughter be in danger?

I think it might be wise to speak to the social services/police someone about this.

poppyscorner

kimevans wrote: »

Could this mans 14 year old daughter be in danger?

I think it might be wise to speak to the social services/police someone about this.

Yes she is most certainly in danger she is on the at risk register and for a while this man did not live with them although they were still a couple but everytime he moved in my Grandma would report it however Gran died last year my mum took this over but as they don't speak it is difficult for her to pinpoint when he is living there she has sent letters to social services who don't seem to be bothered.

I believe whole heartedly that she has been abused by him and has been from age 4 ish we used to have contact back then and I will never forget her sitting in a corner of mums bedroom rocking back and forward and crying when asked what was wrong she said she did not know.

I can't see what else we can do we have limited info and know that she takes friends home also at risk and their parents wouldn't have a clue our latest information was from mums brother who had visited the house he was their and the daughter she wanted some info printed off the net for a school project he was refusing she said please I will give you a kiss he said I want more than that. Sorry I feel sick writing that.

I can never understand why she stayed and as a grown up woman I wouldn't let someone like that within a million miles of my children.

I feared that the fact is I am a part of their family but in blood only I will never regard them as my family they are a couple of sicko's I find the whole thing quite distressing and I feel repulsed that my name is up on a tree next to his and hers

arthur_dent_2

Contact the site in question and try to get in touch with the 14 year old as you will be able to talk to her best as unfortunately you have the same experiences.

Very sincere big hugs and sympathy to you.

*Louise*

poppyscorner wrote: »

Yes she is most certainly in danger she is on the at risk register and for a while this man did not live with them although they were still a couple but everytime he moved in my Grandma would report it however Gran died last year my mum took this over but as they don't speak it is difficult for her to pinpoint when he is living there she has sent letters to social services who don't seem to be bothered.

I believe whole heartedly that she has been abused by him and has been from age 4 ish we used to have contact back then and I will never forget her sitting in a corner of mums bedroom rocking back and forward and crying when asked what was wrong she said she did not know.

I can't see what else we can do we have limited info and know that she takes friends home also at risk and their parents wouldn't have a clue our latest information was from mums brother who had visited the house he was their and the daughter she wanted some info printed off the net for a school project he was refusing she said please I will give you a kiss he said I want more than that. Sorry I feel sick writing that.

My God.

PLEASE, if you truly believe this - then keep contacting Social Services!! Write, phone, threaten to go to the media, whatever, but don't rest until you are sure the little girl is safe.

Surely they will have to act eventually.


Regarding the family tree - contact the site and ask for it to be removed. After all, it's your personal information.

ckerrd

Horrible events and my sympathies.

I wonder if you would be protected under the Data Protection Act?
Might be something here of use
http://www.ico.gov.uk/Home/what_we_cover/data_protection.aspx

plumpmouse

Hi

I'm sure when I signed up for Genes reunited it said somewhere that you should have permission from living relatives to be included in your tree. However typically I can't find it now but I'm sure I read that.

I would contact the site about it. I'm sure they will be understanding about the matter and it may even break their t&c's, they may want to remove her tree completely

inch_high

Where do you live?

If the authorities fail to deal with it then I'm sure a few words the the man will convince him to vacate... Only thing is, that will only move the problem onto another area

outrageous_monkey

OMG.......what a nightmare:eek:

Why are social services crap at things like this?!? When they get it wrong, they dont half get it wrong big time. I really hope something happens with the daughter. Such a sad story.........if he is abusing her.

As for the family tree, like the other posters, I'm also sure that you have to have permission from living relatives to go onto their tree. If its genes reunited, contact them direct.

After everything that couple have put you thru and now they have to go and do something like this......pair of them need locking up if you ask me, she's just as bad for sticking by him........sorry if this offends someone, but it just really annoys me, stories like this.