Heartbroken. What to do?

MrSmartprice

I think this demonstrates how differently women approach this sort of situation compared to men. For most men, a bit of 'forbidden fruit' on a business trip is just a bit of fun, rarely leading to any emotional complications. (Remember the 4 Fs?)

Women seem to approach the situation from a different perspective. Men with families are unlikely to abandon them, with all the financial consequences, on the basis of a quick bunk-up. Sorry if that sounds a bit harsh, but I would bet this chap sees it in a different way from the OP.

Person_one

I wonder why he married such an awful woman, or how a nice woman can change so much in just 18 months.

Valli

If it is a bored kid at half term - kudos to said kid as the posts are well written, even if the content is somewhat controversial!

CH27

He sounds like a manipulative sh*t.

I hope he doesn't behave this way with his students.

arbroath_lass

UnLucky_in_Love wrote: »

I can see where you are coming from but that's really not the case.

It is. We can all see it. You can't. Yet.

Do you really want to spend your life with a liar? Even if he left his wife could you trust him?

UnLucky_in_Love

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

That's what he told you, at least.

From what yuo've said I don't think he will, but would you want him to leave his wife for you?
If so, tell him outright that's what you want him to do and give him a week to do it. If he leaves it any longer than that then it will never happen.

The worst thing would be you hanging on forever hoping he might leave her one day.
The second worst thing would be you calling it off and spend the next few years wondering "if only".

You have hit the nail on the head. My thoughts exactly. One part of me wants him to leave his wife, but then he would have to leave the kids (they are her children, not his) and that would break his heart. Ending a marriage on the basis of having met someone else four weeks ago would be terrible thing to do. But obviously this would be the only way for us to be together. There really is no way forward that doesn't involve an awful lot of pain.

I also take your point on the second worst thing. There is definitely a chance of that happening.

thorsoak

UnLucky_in_Love wrote: »

Thanks Valli. You are probably right. I should walk away now.

No I haven't heard his wife's side of the story. They avoid spending any time together unless it is with the children. They have even shifted their bedtimes so they don't have to spend time in bed together. This has been going on since they got married 1 1/2 years ago.

They got married jusst 1 1/2 years ago???

And he's got itchy feet already?

Just remember - when a man marries his mistress, it leaves a vacancy ...for another mistress.

arbroath_lass

UnLucky_in_Love wrote: »

I would try to do something about it, something which his wife isn't prepared to do.

His words, again! HE is not prepared to do anything. And why should he? When he can have his cake and eat it.

thatlemming

You're either really really naive or just plain stupid.

SandC

I agree with all the others OP, you are not in love with this man, there is no way that you could be.

Please, take it from me, I've seen it before...... if someone has fallen hopelessly in love with you and thinks it will be forever they will leave their current partner for you (not saying it actually works out or they don't to and fro between the both of you until it ends anyway). They will. They won't even take the children into consideration and if it's step children, well that would make it easy!

Take everything he says about his wife and their relationship with a huge pinch of salt. Really, you don't know this man.

So yes I am going to say forget it and move on...