Dare I do it again?

heartbreak_star

I just ponder on whether there'll be a thread from the OP in the future saying "I've got 5 kids and I'm really struggling for money...".

I agree with those who have said count your blessings and concentrate on the 4 kids you have now. You don't need any more, although I suspect you'll "dare" to do it again anyway.

HBS x

Prothet_of_Doom

As long as you understand the Medical Risks. Which increase with age.

That aside my best mate is 4 months YOUNGER than his Nephew, because his Mum had his sister at 20, she got pregnant at 21, and his mother thought, "hey, I'd like one as well"

37 isn't too old, 5 kids are hard work, and cost money, but who knows you might breed a scientist who cures world hunger (or not)

Person_one

xmaslolly76 wrote: »

I think it's rather rude to use phrases like "breed regardless" as if We are churning kids out like a pair of randy rabbits. Sometimes it is not what is said but the way it is said. Poet managed to make points without being derogatory.

Two rudes don't make a right.

sulkisu

xmaslolly76 wrote: »

Hi
I currently have four children and I'm due to get married shortly. I'm 37 and my partner is 30. He is father to two of our children. I am as broody as hell and would love another baby. The OH would agree tomorrow and get to work straight away so to speak. I,m just so worried.

I'm not getting any younger,
I don't find children or babies draining never have. I will admit to finding pregnancy draining but that isn't forever.
The concerns with my age are to do with carrying not looking after or bringing up a child.

we aren't exactly flush with cash,
We aren't flush but we aren't broke either

we don't really have enough room
We currently have 3 beds we could convert the garage to make 4

on top of this we have taken the decision that the two youngest children will be home educated.
Having researched and spoken to other HE families there is no reason a pregnancy or baby would interfere in the long term education of my two youngest children. It may have a short term effect on them as with any family having a new arrival means adjustment and new routines. The beauty of HE is that it is fluid and will work around us not a school timetable. Pregnancy, birth and everything that comes with it can be educational in its self.
I don't know what to do my body clock is getting louder and louder .

It's your decision - I had my three in my 40's (not planned but that's another story) so to me 37 is not old.

But as you clearly already have it all worked out (your quick response demonstrates that), I am left wondering why you bothered to post in the first place?

fishybusiness

I am left wondering why you bothered to post in the first place?

Me too!

The title says of the thread says it all "Dare I do it again"

Plus all of the problems cited by the OP if she does indeed indulge in another child.

The "dare" plus the problems OP obviously knows about, and the replies suggests she will she will have another child, hubby seems compliant, so why not.

It is just these awful forums that are not compliant!

xmaslolly76

Thank you Metranil my children are 15yrs, 11yrs, 4yrs & 3yrs.

To be honest I will in all probability not have another either. I can talk myself in and out of it on an hourly basis. Last night I was feeling particularly broody and needed to clear my head. I don't want to put my health at risk. I want to see my children grow and become what they will. Finances & space can all be worked around but health is pretty much finite.

hazyjo

It's important to work out 'why'. Is it because you love the baby stage? That won't go after having another. You'll probably end up with 6 or 7 in that case.

If it's something in your head where you always dreamt of 5, that's different. That longing won't go.

My friend always wanted 3. Had 2 lovely kids and felt guilty at wanting another. Her husband was happy with 2. They went on to have a third (she was 42, it happened pretty much immediately) and she said she'd be happy going through the change, him having a vasectomy, whatever. She knows now her family is complete. She was one of 3 so maybe that had something to do with it. She'd always wanted 3 - and I always saw her with 3. Two didn't feel right for her, but that's not to say she wasn't happy, content or grateful to have 2 happy healthy children.

The fact you have 4 and are happy to HE and don't both long for time alone or you can't wait for them to get off to school so you can have some me-time speaks volumes.

If they're all brought up in a happy loving environment, go for it. I probably won't have any now (am 43) so it'll be like you having two of the 'average' I would have had

Honestly, you will always get people going on about overpopulating and draining society - but you only get one shot at this life. You don't want to be 80-odd on your deathbed saying you're glad you stuck at 4 cos one tiny person in the scale of things would've made such a difference to the world. And yes, I know if we all had that attitude we'd be overrun with kids/people, but really, honestly, how many people do you know who'd want more than 1/2/3 kids... I don't know any.

Jx

Tenyearstogo

xmaslolly76 wrote: »

Thank you Metranil my children are 15yrs, 11yrs, 4yrs & 3yrs.

To be honest I will in all probability not have another either. I can talk myself in and out of it on an hourly basis. Last night I was feeling particularly broody and needed to clear my head. I don't want to put my health at risk. I want to see my children grow and become what they will. Finances & space can all be worked around but health is pretty much finite.

Why just thank metranil?

I asked the same question a good few posts before that?

Possibly because I queried whether you'd have teenagers studying for exams while there's a new baby and if HE was for your benefit or all of your family?

I had no view either way as it's a personal decision, but you obviously don't care for what opinions people offered. Why bother asking in the first place? You've been really bad mannered.

MrSmartprice

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I just ponder on whether there'll be a thread from the OP in the future saying "I've got 5 kids and I'm really struggling for money...".

I agree with those who have said count your blessings and concentrate on the 4 kids you have now. You don't need any more, although I suspect you'll "dare" to do it again anyway.

Fair assessment, I think. This is one of the daftest threads I can remember on MSE, and there have been some....:whistle:

xmaslolly76

I probably missed your post tenyear. I'm on a phone and can only reply when time allows so I do miss things.
I HE for the benefit of my children. My eldest two are at school and although my daughter has thrived my son hasn't and his father will not allow me to remove him unfortunately and I don't want to risk my other two not thriving I want them to find the joy of learning. It is of no benefit to myself apart from maybe the selfish angle of being able to see my children grow and learn infact it would be far easier to pack them off to school both time wise and financially.

My daughter will be doing her exams this year coming. A baby now would have very little impact as she would have finished her exams by the time baby was born.

Toddler groups are of no consequence to us. The spread in age range of home education groups I go to is very wide there are children of all ages from babes in arms to those teenagers taking their first steps into adult life. This is one of the wonderful things about HE we/they are not restricted to meeting & socialising just with people of their own age.