Dare I do it again?

notanewuser

nikki11 wrote: »

notanewuser wrote: »

It's not racism it's fact- someone mentioned that it was draining the economy-there's more than having children doing that... On the programme 16 and counting there's a woman with 12/13 children and she home schools them and writes a blog to bring in money as well as her oh working-so it can be done.

Do you really think, with 12-16 children, that her blog/hubby's wages bring in anywhere near as much as the benefits they claim?

tinkerbell28

I mentioned the word draining, which op picked up on and I'm not sure if it's me and got lost in translation.

Just in case, I said 4 children even on a good income are hard work and financially draining.

I stand by it, especially as what op has revealed since.

If op is claiming housing benefit, yes he's working but, they are part of the lowest earners in society, so they need help paying for the roof over their head. Which I think in a civilised society is right.

However with 4 kids, they will be on full CTC and child benefit, which is not a small sum. Then when number 5 pops out, the claims will increase again for the 5th child.

Which is where I think society is wrong. If you can't afford to house yourself, you should not be making a conscious decision to bring another child into that situation.

What I meant was, when I said financially draining. Is when you are earning and don't get tax credits, child benefit and all that. You've got to make a decision. "Will our wages manage an extra mouth to feed, school uniform, trips, larger car, larger house, etc".

Then decide as the fact is, 4 kids does financially impact you greatly even on a good wage, and it affects how you live your life, as lets be honest as lovely and rewarding as kids are, they cost a fortune.

You don't have that consideration, if you get extra for each one through the benefit system, it's like being paid to have kids. So it's a moot point.

Person_one

mincepiemonster wrote: »

We would love a big family - but will probably stop at 3 kids. However, the things which concern us (other than finances - we don't get any benefits other than CB and I'm sure Dh's boss won't pay him more just for having another!):

1. What would happen if we split up? Would we be able to cope alone with 4+? We are very happily married and I don't see this happening but you never know.
2. What would happen if one of us died, even if I died in pursuit of this other baby (for want of a better phrase)... childbirth is a risky business! And only gets riskier as you get older / more babies ...
3. What if both of us died? Is there anyone who could have the kids and keep them all together? My folks are only 49 and 52 (yours must be older as you're 37, sorry to be rude) but even so...
4. What if one of the kids was disabled or seriously ill? (I'm sure I don't need to labour the point, but again this is more likely in older mums) Or our parents needed caring for? Or one of us had an accident or became disabled or ill?

They're all a bit morbid, I know, but worth a quick ponder. Furthermore:

5. Where would we keep them all?!?!
6. How would we pay for / help out with uni for them all?
7. Would we be able to logistically get them to school / clubs / activities / on holiday?

And the biggie for us:
8. Would we still have the means - financial and time-wise - to enjoy parenthood or would it just become a massive chore?

Most sensible thoughtful post I've read in ages. :T