Family cut themselves out of my son's life

duchy

I too see little point in people lectuerering Wiggy about how she might have done things differently (and some of those clearly have merely skimmed the thread at best.

Frankly if people can't post relevant to the situation as it is now rather than undermining Wiggy (I suspect she had enough of that from her Mother) about what she *should * have done (in their opinion) months ago may I respectfully suggest not posting might be more supportive of Wiggy in the situation she is in NOW !

LannieDuck

duchy wrote: »

I too see little point in people lectuerering Wiggy about how she might have done things differently (and some of those clearly have merely skimmed the thread at best.

Frankly if people can't post relevant to the situation as it is now rather than undermining Wiggy (I suspect she had enough of that from her Mother) about what she *should * have done (in their opinion) months ago may I respectfully suggest not posting might be more supportive of Wiggy in the situation she is in NOW !

I was posting on the situation as it is now (I don't think Wiggy should have her mum arrested). Are you suggesting that any post that doesn't agree with everything she does is somehow undermining her?

Being supportive is important. Being supportive regardless of what wiggy does isn't going to help anyone.

(Sorry for picking on your post Duchy - there have been a couple of posts saying similar and yours was just the latest.)

Mojisola

LannieDuck wrote: »

I don't think Wiggy should have her mum arrested

I don't think Wiggy would have any say in whether her Mum was arrested or not. That would be decision that the police make.

paulineb_2

Mojisola wrote: »

I don't think Wiggy would have any say in whether her Mum was arrested or not. That would be decision that the police make.

Agreed

Its not the OP who is having her mum arrested and to be honest I dont think she will be arrested, just questioned

But if she was arrested, my goodness after everything shes put her daughter through lately I for one wouldnt be crying tears about it.

paulineb_2

LannieDuck wrote: »

I was posting on the situation as it is now (I don't think Wiggy should have her mum arrested). Are you suggesting that any post that doesn't agree with everything she does is somehow undermining her?

Being supportive is important. Being supportive regardless of what wiggy does isn't going to help anyone.

(Sorry for picking on your post Duchy - there have been a couple of posts saying similar and yours was just the latest.)

Some people arent being supportive though

Thats the point. None of us know exactly what this girl has been through. If she never wanted to break breath to her mum again I wouldnt blame her in the slightest

meritaten

it isn't Wiggys call is it? and if she was arrested then they have to have a good reason don't they? as I said before - she must have said or done something that the police are taking this so seriously.

paulineb_2

Shes very lucky she wasnt arrested after she tried to snatch the child.

Oh and its not the OP who is having her mum arrested, she doesnt have those powers, as other people have said, if police have made a certain decision, theyve done it after looking at everything thats happened.

Yorkie1

Legally, two incidents are sufficient to establish a stalking or harassment offence. There are many more than that here.

When someone makes a complaint to the police, they have a duty to investigate if it appears to them that an offence may have been committed. That is clearly the case here.

Once there is a reasonable suspicion that someone has committed the offence, then the police will decide whether arrest them to continue the investigation. It partly gives the person some protection at the police station as their rights start immediately.

An arrest in this case is proportionate given the seriousness of the allegation (and yes, it is serious. Wiggy's mum has completely disregarded a solicitor's letter and the police warning, as well as wiggy).

The police are also right to advise wiggy no to contact her mum from now on. It completely muddies the waters and, as others have said, the mother appears in no fit state to be able to comprehend rationally any points made.

It will be up to the police or perhaps the CPS to decide what action to take, if any.

Wiggy, well done for your strength so far. You did well with the police. I would wait for the police to get back in touch with you with an update, and also contact the legal people to let them know what has happened. The outcome of the police situation may dictate how best to proceed with the legal people.

If, for example, wiggy's mum is charged with stalking or harassment, then I would be very surprised if there wasn't a condition on her bail not to contact or approach wiggy directly or indirectly, and if she breaches that then she will be arrested and detained for court in custody. I very much doubt she would be that stupid. So, for the period of the court case, the bail would do the job. And a restraining order can be sought at the end of the court case irrespective of its outcome.

If her mum is cautioned then that is good evidence for a civil order against her mum.

If the police release her without formal action then a civil order can still be sought.

HPoirot

Ames wrote: »

Oops I must have missed Wigdog.

No, I made it up in my head as the thread progressed . Waggy it is then!

For what it's worth, I too don't think theorising after the event is doing any good. No two circumstances are the same, and if the police in Wiggy's case have seen fit to arrest or just interview her mum, then so it is. She came on this board to look for advice in a successsion of very stressful situations, which she has been given. What happens next needs to be accepted as an outcome of her situation.

duchy

Quite frankly the way some posters have behaved today I wouldn't be surprised if Wiggy never returned to the thread -and I wouldn't blame her.

A suggestion to certain posters...... when offering support -insisting that you would have handled it better/differently with hindsight is easy but neither kind or useful and not supportive.