Family cut themselves out of my son's life

Angry_Bear

If you were to respond to your sister's text (and silence might well be better) - I'd suggest something that can't be misinterpreted and doesn't continue a discussion but ends it. Something like:

I understand about the postage costs, hopefully you can return the presents or nephew can make use of them. I am not going to let Wiglet be taken anywhere without me, please stop putting us both in an awkward position by asking.

But again, silence might be a better option - as slightlyconfused1 says above, you don't want to be drawn into a discussion with either sister or mum.

jayd84

Wiggywoo9, I have found your story truly inspirational...and as with others have been able to relate on so many levels, please don't underestimate the value you are giving by sharing your story!

Moreover, you've shown such an impressive strength of character, I find myself rooting for you and hope things get better for you.

I wish I could help in any small way...but it appears you are managing things brilliantly in such a difficult circumstance, you have stepped up as a mother and as a fanstastic person despite all the adversity you've faced/are facing, keep it up!

Funky_Bold_Ribena

I do think it is wise to actually let your family know the reasons behind you not wanting them to have contact. Otherwise this could go on for years.

By threatening to abduct your child they crossed the line. The letter by RAS is excellent and shows you have got their number, and so have the police.

Just remember - look back at your first post on this thread. It was them that cut you out. Not the other way around. If you are to respond you can only respond to them referring them to your previous letter to stop harassing you.

paulineb_2

You would think though that somewhere along the line the family might think, well we treated her like crap and tried to abduct her child, could that be the reason we arent on her christmas card list at the moment?

If you do respond, do it through legal channels.

Mojisola

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

I do think it is wise to actually let your family know the reasons behind you not wanting them to have contact. Otherwise this could go on for years.

By threatening to abduct your child they crossed the line. The letter by RAS is excellent and shows you have got their number, and so have the police.

Just remember - look back at your first post on this thread. It was them that cut you out. Not the other way around. If you are to respond you can only respond to them referring them to your previous letter to stop harassing you.

paulineb wrote: »

You would think though that somewhere along the line the family might think, well we treated her like crap and tried to abduct her child, could that be the reason we arent on her christmas card list at the moment?

If you do respond, do it through legal channels.

Agree with paulineb. Keep to the legal route - don't start up direct contact again yet.

FBR - This could go on for years but because Wiggy's mother will be finding it so hard to accept that Wiggy is no longer under her control - not because she's a concerned granny who doesn't understand why her daughter is being horrible to her!

wiggywoo9

I've contacted police and women's aid, awaiting their responses.

Should I go to a new doctor about the letter, or return to the one I saw and just ask for any letter she can provide and give her the money?

I know people are getting at me for not changing my number or SIM. I haven't the money to get a new phone but could get a new GiffGaff sim. My issue is that my number connects me to everyone or everything I need. When I was homeless it was my only link and so many have it to contact me, with a wide range of services that I can't remember all of them. I don't want to change it and be out of contact for something important.

paulineb_2

SMS blocker and blacklist were the 2 apps I used when I was getting unwanted calls and texts.

Or there should be a way that you can get a text that she sends into your spam texts folder so you dont see it.

Mojisola

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

I know people are getting at me for not changing my number or SIM. I haven't the money to get a new phone but could get a new GiffGaff sim. My issue is that my number connects me to everyone or everything I need. When I was homeless it was my only link and so many have it to contact me, with a wide range of services that I can't remember all of them. I don't want to change it and be out of contact for something important.

If you can cope with getting texts from them, I would keep the phone.

I would feel more comfortable knowing what she's saying and being able to keep a copy of any texts.

If I changed the phone, I think I'd get anxious about what she might be saying or planning.

paulineb_2

On the flip side of that though, how long can someone be harassed by their own mum, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years?

The thing is, its clear from the posts that when a new text comes in, its causing anxiety, so if you do want to keep your number, you are going to have to think of some coping strategies as to how you deal with getting her ridiculous and manipulative texts.

As I said before, on the run up to christmas I think this will intensify.
I do think you need to get a letter to her saying do not contact me and that includes phoning, email, texts, its harassment.

wiggywoo9

Thanks- I don't have a good phone or smartphone so can't use apps. The texts just seem to have less an impact the more there are and yes I think it's good to keep for evidence. It's just the fact that they are still coming, and now from both of them.