Family cut themselves out of my son's life

Ballabriggs

Your sister is a chip off the old block eh?! Following in your mum's footsteps.

That was not entirely from your sister but was directed by your mum. All emotional blackmail. Don't believe for a second that your mum won't be there if wiglet goes with her. As if you are just going to hand wiglet over to them after everything that has happened! They are really not getting it and are blantently ignoring the harassment letter. Wiggy you really need to follow this up legally to protect you and wiglet.

The police should be able to help you regarding harassment. Go and see them tomorrow.

They know you love your nan and are now using this against you. Shame on them. I was giving your sister the benefit of the doubt, but she has shown her true colours. Do not respond to her text as it opens up the line of communication again. Please go and get your number changed. It will help to get back the peace you both deserve.

Wol2

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

Thank you all! I'm on the women's aid page at the moment and the legal advice page to send emails on the matter. I feel ait guilty as I kind of left the legal advice a bit after the dr turned around saying she couldn't write an exact letter (if you remember) thus me thinking the legal advice would be out. She also said she'd charge £10 for the letter too. Honestly I thought this bang out of order as the situation is pretty tough and she could see I desperately need the letter for the legal aid. I've got to tackle this I know. First i'll contact the legal advice lady to explain, then maybe get another dr appointment with a different doctor? Or HV? Could they do the letter?

I had a long chat with the HV about it all and she suggested things but never got back to me. This was back when mum came to my door knocking.

Failing the legal bit, if I called the local police could I ask them what to do, injunction-wise? Would they help?



!

Is there anyone who can help Wiggy on this aspect ref legal aid and funding please? Unfortunately I do not have the necessary experience/knowledge...however I believe it is important she is empowered to take this next step.

Many thanks
xxx

Ballabriggs

By the way wiggy, just wanted to add that 72,000 people have read your thread since it was first posted and 100% of posters are behind you completely! You have a lot of people rooting for you because you are absolutely on the right track. Whenever you start to wonder just remember those figures and smile. That's 0.11% of the population of the UK!

duchy

I think you'd need to be 101% sure that your sister wouldn't tell your Mum -and honestly Wiggy with her running around dropping up made up parecels at your Mum's bidding-I really really don't think you can trust her. I also think it is incredibly odd she wants to take Wiglet alone. It simply isn't normal with a child of that age..... Surely it would be more natural to say to you to bring Wiglet to Nan whilst Mum is at work and she'd let you know when Mum would be working ? Every fibre in me is saying "Don't do it " Hun.

I really think Wiggy needs to get Womens Aid involved. Their purpose is to not only help women physically escape from domestic abuse (which is what your Mother's treatment of you was) but also to support women as they rebuild and help them stay safe and not return to the situation. Please contact them Wiggy.

Angry_Bear

duchy wrote: »

I think you'd need to be 101% sure that your sister wouldn't tell your Mum -and honestly Wiggy with her running around dropping up made up parecels at your Mum's bidding-I really really don't think you can trust her. I also think it is incredibly odd she wants to take Wiglet alone. It simply isn't normal with a child of that age..... Surely it would be more natural to say to you to bring Wiglet to Nan whilst Mum is at work and she'd let you know when Mum would be working ? Every fibre in me is saying "Don't do it " Hun.

I really think Wiggy needs to get Womens Aid involved. Their purpose is to not only help women physically escape from domestic abuse (which is what your Mother's treatment of you was) but also to support women as they rebuild and help them stay safe and not return to the situation. Please contact them Wiggy.

ESPECIALLY given the current situation.
As far as your Nan goes, I can't remember if you said, but can you personally take Wiglet to visit her on your own (or does she live with your mother - I forget)?

wiggywoo9

All of them (dog, two sisters, my nephew, and mum) all moved with mum into nan's home two or three months ago. This was done so that nan's house is not sold up 3 ways between my mum and her siblings when my nan dies. Mum is slowly paying them off to possess the house herself instead.

It was good and bad- nan wasn't ready to give it up yet and now has them all on top of her all the time, including a noisy 11 month old baby next door. All furniture/decoration has been ripped up and out to fit mum's ideals, which seems premature as nan is not dead yet, only 75! On the other hand, she is getting old and needs some assistance with things. My mum once said to me that her siblings should be grateful she's looking after nan and buying house as she'd end up in care home else. Nice.

duchy

Nan and Mum live in Nan;s house - but it appears Mum calls all the shots.

(A bit of me hopes Nan leaves the house to her grand-daughters -as would be her absolute right to do so), If you feel Nan was coerced into this arrangement in any way Age Concern take an active interest in issues of Elder Abuse like this.

slightlyconfused1

I noticed that all their texts suggest taking your son somewhere. This is not normal. Do not allow it whatever you do. If I were you I would be very careful as it appears you are being sucked in to a dialogue with them. You have worked really hard to gain your independence guard it.

duchy

I'm sure if Mum did manage to get her talons into Wiglet she'd immediately find an excuse to hang onto him by claiming Wiggy is an unfit mother in some way. She'd most likely lose but the whole experience would be very traumatic for Wiglet.

I think in Wiggy's position I'd be getting Women's Aid to assist me in getting a full injunction and with paperwork in place confirming the difficulties use it as leverage to get a HA transfer.

paulineb_2

Doctors do tend to charge for writing letters of any description.

Try and find a family law centre that gives support for people on low incomes, they do exist.

Even paying for a lawyers letter would be worth it. And keep the police updated on the ongoing issues. Police can go and speak to people and ask them to stay away from someone. I was being harassed by a neighbour and the police paid him a visit.

And please change your phone number. I would have done that weeks ago if someone was harassing me.

You are an adult with a child. You have the right not to have contact with your family. But rather than getting upset when you get another text, block the number, download an SMS blocker programme.

Or get a new sim. Because this is going to go on until Christmas Day or beyond.

Changing your number would make a massive difference to your stress levels.