Family cut themselves out of my son's life

harrys_nan

Oh wiggy, I despair of that woman, (can't call her your mother, cos she sure as hell ain't)
You really made the BEST choice in your life when you walked away from her. She is a nasty nasty person and one day she will get her comeuppance.
I'm sure your nan knows you love her just as she loves you and wiglet.
Get on with your life and keep your head held high, you come over, to your fans club on here, just what a lovely person you are, despite your witch parent and not because of her.
Wishing you and wiglet a very happy Christmas and a very good 2016.
Take care xx

thorsoak

Wiggy - you are handling this in the right way - and what's more, you know you are! No doubts, you are getting stronger and stronger, and that is so good.

I hope that you, Wiglet and Wagalot have a wonderful Christmas and a happy, ever growing New Year. After Christmas, you can pop in and see your nana whenou know that motherfromhell is out. xxxxx

duchy

Well done Wiggy.
You behaved with strength and dignity and didn't allow your Mother to browbeat you.

In her head it was tit for tat for when you wouldn''t let her into your flat. I wonder if she was having a different day off or if she's lost her job - most people in retail don't get holiday time this close to Christmas.

It's your Nan I feel sorry for - and I wonder if there would be any point in you contacting social services and expressing your concern that your mother's actions might be a form of elder abuse. It might stir up a hornet's nest but there's also the irony of you setting SS on your Mum !!

meritaten

Well done Wiggy - nicely handled by you.
Best Christmas wishes to you and your little family!

Piercedmrsp

I've just read this whole thread and felt I couldn't not post.

My goodness Wiggy what a truly inspirational, strong, confident, mature and resilient young woman you are! How lucky young Wiglet is to have you for his mum. You are nothing short of amazing.

Seriously, if I were wearing a hat I'd be taking it off to you. I haven't read any of your previous threads but it's clear just from this one that you have come a long, long way over the last couple of years, and that you are an excellent mum. I'm lucky never to have suffered in the way you have but am nevertheless humbled by your story. It takes a rare mix of courage, bravery, resilience and determination to escape and protect your boy from the sort of horrendous abuse you have suffered at the hands of a woman who has no right to call herself a mother or grandmother. She is the person that gave birth to you, nothing more.

Do you realise that in single handedly raising a happy and well-adjusted young Wiglet, running your home, studying, getting and holding down a job and coping with everything thrown at you on top you have achieved and continue to achieve things others twice your age and with twice the level of support cannot manage? You should be so proud of yourself!

Having said that, it's ok to have those low moments - everyone has them and you have more cause than most. When that happens take a look at how much admiration and support you have on here, take a step back and look and the wonderful young man you are bringing up. Take a look at everything you've overcome.

One thing you did talk about which chimed with me was around making friends and social confidence. I am very socially awkward and have only a couple of real friends - it's really not unusual - but sweetheart there is nothing wrong with you to make people not want you as a friend. Maybe you haven't found the right people yet, maybe you're like me and very introverted so you naturally prefer your own company - none of this is bad or your "fault". They do say, though, that if you don't value yourself others will not either and to some extent this is true. It's taken me a long time to recognise it though!

You are becoming more confident and your posts show you're a lovely, personable, caring person so start taking pride in who you have become and what you have achieved. Don't think "do I deserve this person as a friend" but think "does this person deserve me?". There is nothing wrong with picking and choosing only those who help and support you and make you feel happy. That's what real friends are supposed to do and I have no doubt that's what the people you do choose will get from you. You will get there, I absolutely promise.

I hope you, Wiglet and Wagalot have a wonderful, wonderful Christmas and that 2016 is a great year for you both. I wish for you both lovely things, nice people and success with everything you try for. Stay strong and be kind to yourself.

Flybaby

Wiggy - sorry to hear about your mums ridiculous behaviour yet again. It is laughable that she thinks she has the right to control your nans life and seems to equate that with the parental obligations and rights you have with wiglet. She really is a control freak.


I wander how your nan is getting those cards out to you coz your mum is obviously not posting them for her? Someone is helping your nan to make contact and she is going to that effort - so keep that thought in your heart.


As always - you are strong, brave and fabulous. Merry Christmas to you and wiglet.

ampersand

2016 - the best yet for ww&w:-)

Repeat read and absorb this, Wiggy and leave copies next time you attempt a visit to Nan, successful or otherwise:
https://www.gov.uk/government/news/coercive-or-controlling-behaviour-now-a-crime

All good things to you and your son this year. Be very wary of moving yet, given this Government's ideological savagery:
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/jan/05/rob-poor-give-rich-housing-policy-2016

wiggywoo9

Hi all,

It's been a while since I posted but I need some advice.

I've been doing well, however I had some news from my cousin that my nan was not doing well. She's been in hospital again and doesn't have much time left.

I called her, had a good long chat. I was quite upset and sent home from work. Yesterday I spoke to her again and let wiglet talk to her too. It's very upsetting and I don't know how to come to terms with it tbh. She's done so much for me and the last true close family member I have.

I asked if I could see her, but she didn't think it was a good idea. I know my mother would kick off and I don't want to cause my nan pain.

I also found out my sister has had another baby.

I am really finding all of this hard and no-one to turn to.

I really broke down at work on Friday and ended up talking to my colleague about my family issue - briefly- and I don't know how to face it tomorrow. Everyone probably already thinks I've got issues being a lone parent and all. She's going to think it's some crazy rebellious thing and think poorly of me.

I just need some advice. Feeling a bit alone.

mellymoo74

She won't think badly of you wiggy

Can you see your nan when they aren't there. You can ask at the nurses station if she has visitors we did with MIL.

Chin up
You have come so far love

wiggywoo9

My nan is at the house, not at the hospital. With my mother and sisters living there, it's hard. My mother even works opposite.