Family cut themselves out of my son's life

meritaten

write a list of Pro's and Con's about staying or moving.over the next couple of days add your thoughts to it - it will help you clarify your priorities. mull it over, and only when you are happy with your gut instinct make your decision.
sometimes, just writing it all down will help you. Whatever you decide - its entirely YOUR decision - isn't that liberating?

Mojisola

meritaten wrote: »

write a list of Pro's and Con's about staying or moving.over the next couple of days add your thoughts to it - it will help you clarify your priorities. mull it over, and only when you are happy with your gut instinct make your decision.
sometimes, just writing it all down will help you. Whatever you decide - its entirely YOUR decision - isn't that liberating?

In addition to being rational about it - as above - toss a coin, heads for move, tails for stay. If you're pleased with the result, that's good; if you're disappointed, you really want to do other thing.

duchy

How old is Wiglet now ?
You talk about "school" but isn't this nursery so he'd be moving at some point anyway ? or is this nursery attached to a school ? Unless you intend to stay in the flat/area you are in currently -moving him now is less likely to be as disruptive as moving once he has started school proper.

Living nearer to town you'd perhaps be less isolated than you are now ....and maths courses etc might be run in town too

Moving obviously means if your Mum does try to contact you again -she won't know where you have gone....and won't have a key for your building.

Not just less fares but less travelling time too is important when you are a single parent. More time for Wiglet.

This flat may not be THE right flat but it may get you thinking about what would motivate you to move and when is the right time.

thorsoak

Have you had a look at the flat? What about the lifts and access to the building? Can anyone get into the block? Do the lifts smell? Are the stairways clean or dirty? Is the area around the flats clean and neat?

It's a big step, moving home - and the thought of moving out of your first home with Wiglet and Wagalot is bound to be stressful - but think of it as moving onwards and upwards. This might not be the best move for you - but start thinking about it. xxx

Person_one

I would say that living in a flat can be a nightmare if your dog is ill or injured at any time. Having to carry them up and down stairs multiple times a day if the lift breaks and they can't walk, and with a child to juggle as well!

Is there only one lift?

duchy

Many years ago I lived in a council high rise and tenants weren't allowed dogs above a certain floor. Worth checking if this place has any similar restrictions

AndyBSG

In all honesty, there doesn't seem to be a huge benefit to moving.

Sure, as you mention there are some advantages but they seem fairly slim ones and are evened out by some disadvantages so it doesn't really seem worth it... I'm sure all those advantages would also seem worth nowt if you find the lift not working one day and have to get a dog, pram and shopping up to the 16th floor!

theoretica

If you don't take this flat, do you have any idea how likely it will be for you to be offered another choice in a while? Does the HA have properties you would be eligible for which would suit you better than either of these?

wiggywoo9

Update- I wasn't able to take the flat- wiglet is at a very good school now so I was reluctant to remove him. It is school not nursery.

However, today I've taken holiday from work in order to get up to my nan's house to see her and drop off christmas presents early whilst mother was at work and wiglet at after school club. She recently sent me xmas cards in the post with money for both of us each, so I wanted to thank her for that too.
I got there and my mother was there. I asked to see my nana. She said 'is that really the best idea?' in a harsh way, I said 'I want to see my nana, please'. She scoffed at me and repeated herself, then said 'I don't think it is, is it?' looking smug. I said 'I want to see her, let me in'- she said 'Oh well, oh dear, well I want to see wiglet' and laughed at me with venom and slammed the door in my face. I tried the door, it was locked so i shouted 'send my love to nana' through the door and left the bag of presents (for nana, two sisters, two presents for nephew) in the porch.

I doubt they'll go further than the bin but I tried. It's just cruel. I know i made the right choice regarding my 'mother' though- no regrets.

msb5262

Hi Wiggy, you have left a name (Wiglet's?) in your post - do you want to edit it?