Child access - county court - what to expect?

minimoneysaver

From my experience, judges frown upon fathers who do not pay Child Maintenance right from the breakdown of the relationship.

Your son should be paying 15% of his income to his ex gf already.

cte1111

[QUOTE=DeeWren;63618934_I_can't_understand_why_families_just_can't_get_on_in_the_best_interests_of_the_children._I_thought_that_was_how_it_was_supposed_to_be?[/QUOTE]
I think part of the problem is that what silky thinks is the best for his son, is not really the best for his grandson and his Mum. Silky decided that his son should chuck in his job and move back to Mummy and Daddy, thus abandoning his own son without any financial support or contact from his Dad.

I bet if the ex was on here posting from her POV, the responses would be how hopeless and immature the father was. I really think Silky is doing his children a dis-service by controlling their lives in this way, albeit from a caring perspective. They need to learn to become real adults and consider their own families before their parents.

silkyuk9

LannieDuck wrote: »

As said above, you can go through the CSA.

Alternatively, I would try the same routes of communication that have previously been ignored, using the title "I want to pay you child maintenance" or some such. I would be very surprised if she continued to ignore.

If he has her parents' phone number, I can't imagine they'd refuse to speak to him if he's offering to support his children.

If all else fails, he could put some money in an envelope through her door with a note (although he wouldn't have the same protections as if he went through the CSA).

any money given would require proof, not getting shafted over this too.

silkyuk9

lostinrates wrote: »

All this is well and good, but you talk about family and standing by your children and not having any one shaft them, yet your son is failing to do the same.

this requires no comment from me.

silkyuk9

DeeWren wrote: »

Silkyuk9, I'm so sorry to hear about the battle you are having between your son and his ex over their child. As has been said on this forum it isn't really your decision, it is between your son and his ex, but as a parent don't we always feel the hurt our children are going through and we try and do what we can? My son is also having relationship issues, but thank the Lord and all that's Holy, child access is not a problem at the moment, but it could happen couldn't it? Hopefully I'm just thinking the worst, but if we couldn't see our grandaughter as often as we do I'd find it unbearable, she's our little star, the light of our lives. However, if we had to forego seeing her, but her father saw her often then I could live with that, not comfortably, but I think I could cope.

Good luck to you and I wish you all the best. I can't understand why families just can't get on in the best interests of the children. I thought that was how it was supposed to be?

Thanks for that I feel we have some sort of emotional connection regarding the feelings for children. Not seeing our grandchild for over 6 weeks now is very hard, also has reflected on my health too.

silkyuk9

FBaby wrote: »

But it shouldn't be you spending money on anything. Your son should be fighting his own battles. Maybe if he hadn't given up his job and moved, maybe if he had kept his job, paid maintenance from the start and agreed to see his child once a week, you wouldn't be wasting money either.

I think it is wonderful that you are supporting your children. I would do the same, but sometimes we do more damage by being there for them than letting fight their own battles and I get the feeling that this is the case in your situation. Your son is now a father himself and HE should be doing the fighting alone and put his son's needs before his own. It is hard to let your children go, especially when they are at their most vulnerable, but fighting their battles for them is not going to make things better long term.

You do not know the full story FB.

Monthly wage £1300

minus

Rent £600
Credit card bill £75
loan £197
fuel for car to travel to work per month £250

leave around £200 (food clothes etc etc)

Mum dad can you help this month electric key is on Zero its cold and winter, No sorry FB says stand on your own too feet, let little un freeze, sorry!

Person_one

silkyuk9 wrote: »

any money given would require proof, not getting shafted over this too.

Going through the CSA is as official as it gets, why the reluctance?

silkyuk9

Person_one wrote: »

Going through the CSA is as official as it gets, why the reluctance?

There is no reluctance, this is where we are going.

Person_one

silkyuk9 wrote: »

There is no reluctance, this is where we are going.

You mean where he is going.

FBaby

silkyuk9 wrote: »

You do not know the full story FB.

Monthly wage £1300

minus

Rent £600
Credit card bill £75
loan £197
fuel for car to travel to work per month £250

leave around £200 (food clothes etc etc)

Mum dad can you help this month electric key is on Zero its cold and winter, No sorry FB says stand on your own too feet, let little un freeze, sorry!

You forgot child benefit and some tax credits. I would say yep you don't need my help with £300 left for heating and food (and burn your credit card)