Child access - county court - what to expect?

Ms_Chocaholic

I also asked several questions that never got an answer, particularly #2 and #6.

Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »

Can I just ask for clarity on a couple of issues.

1. The reason for the split? Was it at any point to do with domestic violence?

2. Is there any reason you cannot write/ring your son's ex to establish the welfare of your grandson?

3. You definitely don't need a solicitor for the Court Hearing; the first hearing is what is called a directions hearing, it is very informal. You are wasting your money on a solicitor. Unless your son's ex is financially stable, I'm sure she won't have instructed a solicitor.

4. Somenoe mentioned above re maintenance etc, I see your son is not currently working. I do hope he is making whatever payments he can to his ex for his child. If not, he ought to start, this won't go down well in Court. Although the two are not linked, ie I pay maintenance but can't see my child is of no relevance, the Judge will look unfavourably upon your son.

5. What efforts have been made to attend mediation. The Judge will ask this, Hearings are often thrown out of Court if mediation has not been attempted.

6. What is the other "issue" that has arisen and anything we can help with?

Poppie68

He said at the beginning i think that his wife emails the ex everynight..might of been his other thread as he has got either 2 or 3. I've got a good idea what the other issue is and that is also on one of his other threads....

silkyuk9

CH27 wrote: »

OP doesn't seem to want to answer this as a couple of us have asked it.

Sorry. My son worked in a job he didnt really like so did some courses at a cost of 2 grand to get him employment elsewhere for more money . He also applied for a position back in his 'comfort zone' (this should be going ahead soon). As he knew no one where he lived at the time and the break up really shook him. (I have had previous family tragedy) I told him to basically to drop tools and come home. He did and went to the docs and got a 2 weeks sick note. As we live 150 miles it was impossible for him to travel. When he lived with ex the job he had was 38 miles away so this also had an impact on finance as you can imagine. In the mean time he got a job offer from the job he applied for back in his comfort zone but will take up to 6 weeks to process. we are expecting a starting date any day now as the CBR check should almost be complete.

Thats why he left his job. It was on my feelings if you like reading between the lines.

Im sorry about being sketchy in some lines of questions as I know this site is popular and do not want to be giving lots away as you never know who is reading. Im sure you understand that.

silkyuk9

LannieDuck wrote: »

The money and the access are two completely separate issues, except that it won't look good to a judge if your son isn't paying maintenance.

I don't think the money you give to them each month is legally relevant. It doesn't 'buy' you access. It might help to make the ex more amenable to staying in contact with you, but that will depend on her personality. I don't think I'd want to go down this route (of paying ex to ensure she stays sweet), personally. I would limit myself to buying presents for the child, and ensuring son could pay his CSA.

Speaking of which, he should be proactive in setting up CSA payments as soon as he gets his JSA. Best to go through the CSA, otherwise ex can come back later and claim he hasn't been paying maintenance it'll be he-said-she-said.

I'll bet ex responds to his contact if he asks for information to help set up maintenance payments. If not, could your son not pop a note through her letterbox to that effect?

Is son getting a new job close to your house? I agree with the others - this seems totally upside down. He should have rented a place close to his son and kept his job. Then he could have been supporting his child and would have somewhere for child to visit for access. As it is, he'll have to travel 150 miles and get a hotel room every time he wants to see his son. I don't understand the logic at all.

how can my son give money, all communication has been ended by the ex, there is no contact. He has a few quid to give his son but what can he do?

lostinrates

silkyuk9 wrote: »

Sorry. My son worked in a job he didnt really like so did some courses at a cost of 2 grand to get him employment elsewhere for more money . He also applied for a position back in his 'comfort zone' (this should be going ahead soon). As he knew no one where he lived at the time and the break up really shook him. (I have had previous family tragedy) I told him to basically to drop tools and come home. He did and went to the docs and got a 2 weeks sick note. As we live 150 miles it was impossible for him to travel. When he lived with ex the job he had was 38 miles away so this also had an impact on finance as you can imagine. In the mean time he got a job offer from the job he applied for back in his comfort zone but will take up to 6 weeks to process. we are expecting a starting date any day now as the CBR check should almost be complete.

Thats why he left his job. It was on my feelings if you like reading between the lines.

Im sorry about being sketchy in some lines of questions as I know this site is popular and do not want to be giving lots away as you never know who is reading. Im sure you understand that.

Your son has my sympathy about the stress, but as for the rest I am afraid I see it as rather unfortunate self service on both your parts, putting his /your wants before his child's benefit in having a father close by.

As for knowing people in the area, he could have fixed that, and of course the person most important in his world was there.

Would he not consider getting a job near his child again so that he could see him more than once a week if suitable contact could be arranged?

Person_one

silkyuk9 wrote: »

how can my son give money, all communication has been ended by the ex, there is no contact. He has a few quid to give his son but what can he do?

https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance

Who can use a service
You can apply if you’re:

• the parent the child lives with
  
• the parent the child doesn’t live with
• a grandparent or other guardian of the child
• a child living in Scotland

silkyuk9

Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »

I also asked several questions that never got an answer, particularly #2 and #6.

2. she made it quit clear to me, so no.

6. no its a legal matter

silkyuk9

Person_one wrote: »

https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance

Who can use a service
You can apply if you’re:

• the parent the child lives with
  
• the parent the child doesn’t live with
• a grandparent or other guardian of the child
• a child living in Scotland

The money is getting saved. We will take it to the court. CSA will be sorted by my son when he begins his job, everything will be done correctly and as the law says. We will NOT shun our responsibilities.

One day when this has all been sorted out I will enlighten you all by giving you the full story, a story of how 2 career people met and how it all ended. How a family shunned my son from a issue that had nothing to do with him. How a family feud ultimately split up a young family and left a child in the middle.

Person_one

silkyuk9 wrote: »

The money is getting saved. We will take it to the court. CSA will be sorted by my son when he begins his job, everything will be done correctly and as the law says. We will NOT shun our responsibilities.

One day when this has all been sorted out I will enlighten you all by giving you the full story, a story of how 2 career people met and how it all ended. How a family shunned my son from a issue that had nothing to do with him. How a family feud ultimately split up a young family and left a child in the middle.

All of that is irrelevant, really.

He can contact the CSA now and get the ball rolling, he doesn't have to wait to be asked/told to support his child, he can take the initiative and start the process himself. It doesn't matter if he's working or not.

Ms_Chocaholic

and if he does what Person One suggests it will put him in a positive light by the Judge too