Child access - county court - what to expect?

PHYTHIAN

Have read all the posts and most of the advice is absolutely spot on. My son went through a custody 'battle' which started off incredibly difficult. The judge asked him and his ex to go to mediation which neither really wanted to do as they said they'd never agree. The judge then more or less TOLD them they were going. It worked really well. Both had their say and eventually reached a mutual understanding.

From my sons experience, solicitors just get in the way and cause more ill feeling than anything. They pick on things and make each person sound like the worst parent ever...believe me it's horrible!!

Hope the two can sort it out , as someone said earlier , it's the child who suffers.

chipmunk

Regarding the £600 solicitors costs, I assume your son instructed a solicitor to make an application to the court for a Contact Order ? This incurs a court fee which is what he would have had to pay had he made the application in person or whether he used a solicitor. He chose to instruct a solicitor to act on his behalf and therefore he agreed to incur solicitors costs for carrying out work on his behalf, i.e. the solicitors time for completing the C100 application, filing it with the court, correspondence with the court and, I expect, your son's ex., telephone calls etc. It all adds up and, despite what many people may think, solicitors don't work for nothing. The solicitor does not merely "write to the court requesting a hearing".

I understand your sadness at not having contact with your grandson but the only thing the court is interested in is what is in the best interests of the child, nothing else. I work in a solicitors office in the Family department and deal with contact issues like your sons every single day. The majority of these cases end up in court because the parent's simply refuse to resolve matters purely out of spite or because they want to score points off the other and, sadly, use the child as a means of doing this Unfortunately, they just can't prioritise the child's needs above their own. Mediation does often work and really should have been considered by your son's ex. She will probably end up having to instruct a solicitor herself when she receives notice of your son's application from the court, although she can act in person.

silkyuk9

chipmunk wrote: »

Regarding the £600 solicitors costs, I assume your son instructed a solicitor to make an application to the court for a Contact Order ? This incurs a court fee which is what he would have had to pay had he made the application in person or whether he used a solicitor. He chose to instruct a solicitor to act on his behalf and therefore he agreed to incur solicitors costs for carrying out work on his behalf, i.e. the solicitors time for completing the C100 application, filing it with the court, correspondence with the court and, I expect, your son's ex., telephone calls etc. It all adds up and, despite what many people may think, solicitors don't work for nothing. The solicitor does not merely "write to the court requesting a hearing".

I understand your sadness at not having contact with your grandson but the only thing the court is interested in is what is in the best interests of the child, nothing else. I work in a solicitors office in the Family department and deal with contact issues like your sons every single day. The majority of these cases end up in court because the parent's simply refuse to resolve matters purely out of spite or because they want to score points off the other and, sadly, use the child as a means of doing this Unfortunately, they just can't prioritise the child's needs above their own. Mediation does often work and really should have been considered by your son's ex. She will probably end up having to instruct a solicitor herself when she receives notice of your son's application from the court, although she can act in person.

Thanks for all that. As I have said the first solicitors letter only went to ex as she cut off all contact. We had no way of knowing if our grandchild was ok or not, she would not return emails either. she would not even speak to my son either. So the first letter which was regarding mediation was completely ignored.

Things have moved on slightly but not for the good. So we sit and wait for a letter from the court, depending on the other 'issue' that has arisen it now all depends on the outcome of this to whether we now take a solicitor to the hearing or not, hopefully we will know more about the other issue shortly.

Its a very sad time for everyone. And we dearly miss our little grandson we have not seen him in over 6 weeks now and had no communication what so ever.

chipmunk

If you have instructed a solicitor, they will have advised the court that they are instructed to accept service on your (sons) behalf and all correspondance (date of the Court Hearing etc.) will be sent directly to them. If you do not want the solicitor to attend at court you should advise them of such otherwise they may automatically attend (for which your son may be charged).

Did the solicitor advise your son at their initial meeting what the probable costs of his application to Court would be should he decide to go down that route ? They should have done.

silkyuk9

chipmunk wrote: »

If you have instructed a solicitor, they will have advised the court that they are instructed to accept service on your (sons) behalf and all correspondance (date of the Court Hearing etc.) will be sent directly to them. If you do not want the solicitor to attend at court you should advise them of such otherwise they may automatically attend (for which your son may be charged).

Did the solicitor advise your son at their initial meeting what the probable costs of his application to Court would be should he decide to go down that route ? They should have done.

I am paying all court costs as legal aid is not available. my son was working full time when they lived together but obviously has had to quit his job as it was 150 miles away. He has another job in the pipe line but may not be for another few weeks.

His solicitor has not said anything about going to court as yet, however, when the subject comes up I will either say yes we can pay the money or I will say no I cant afford it (which is the truth) then im sure the solicitor will certainly not travel all the way down south and get no costs. At the end of the day the solicitor is working for us and we pay everything upfront before any action is taken. So if it came a time and I say sorry have no money well i cant imagine the solicitor getting off his seat.

Ive read other comments regarding the solicitor issue and soem say waste of time. If things go according to plan then we will have no solicitor present but then again we may. It all depends on circumstances. I will cross that brige in the very near future.

FBaby

I'm confused. Are you saying that your son has moved away from where he used to live with his ex and work to move with you and now he wants to have access to his child so he can take him away for days at a time?

If that is the case, I can understand the ex being a bit reluctant. Why would he move when he had a job and could have stayed close to his child? Maybe I misunderstood.

Ms_Chocaholic

Can I just ask for clarity on a couple of issues.

1. The reason for the split? Was it at any point to do with domestic violence?

2. Is there any reason you cannot write/ring your son's ex to establish the welfare of your grandson?

3. You definitely don't need a solicitor for the Court Hearing; the first hearing is what is called a directions hearing, it is very informal. You are wasting your money on a solicitor. Unless your son's ex is financially stable, I'm sure she won't have instructed a solicitor.

4. Somenoe mentioned above re maintenance etc, I see your son is not currently working. I do hope he is making whatever payments he can to his ex for his child. If not, he ought to start, this won't go down well in Court. Although the two are not linked, ie I pay maintenance but can't see my child is of no relevance, the Judge will look unfavourably upon your son.

5. What efforts have been made to attend mediation. The Judge will ask this, Hearings are often thrown out of Court if mediation has not been attempted.

6. What is the other "issue" that has arisen and anything we can help with?

minimoneysaver

Am I right in thinking you want your sons ex to open up her house to you?! Sorry, but as the ex gf, there is no way I would let my DD dad or his parents into my home. The last time his parents were in my home, they were caught going through some paperwork on my desk!

She has no responsibility towards you. Maybe if you weren't so heavy handed things could have been worked out? Six weeks is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

silkyuk9

FBaby wrote: »

I'm confused. Are you saying that your son has moved away from where he used to live with his ex and work to move with you and now he wants to have access to his child so he can take him away for days at a time?

If that is the case, I can understand the ex being a bit reluctant. Why would he move when he had a job and could have stayed close to his child? Maybe I misunderstood.

yes im sorry yes you are confused

silkyuk9

minimoneysaver wrote: »

Am I right in thinking you want your sons ex to open up her house to you?! Sorry, but as the ex gf, there is no way I would let my DD dad or his parents into my home. The last time his parents were in my home, they were caught going through some paperwork on my desk!

She has no responsibility towards you. Maybe if you weren't so heavy handed things could have been worked out? Six weeks is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

no not suggesting I go to her home and shack up like happy families. I was maybe hoping that if things sorted themselves out and things got better, we as grand parents driving 150 miles it would be ok to possibly pay our grandchild a visit now and again, we have done this since he was born, or even if the ex wanted a babysitter say during the day if she was at work we could do that. I think i maybe looking through rainbow specticles and thinking we are going to be friends again some day but im sure that is not going to happen. I think im struggling a little with the prospect that things ar enow different and the child has been cought in the crossfire. No more early morning walks as we did a month or 2 ago, no more chases on the field etc etc. Im just a struggling grandparent who has lost his little soul and smiley face. I just love him so much.